Monthly Archives: December 2010

This is the time of year when I log zillions of hits for my Mel Tormé Christmas story, which is easily the most popular page on my site and probably the most widely-read thing I've ever written in prose.

For some reason, though I give it away free here, people like to steal it. Internet Etiquette would suggest that if you want the readers of your site to read the entirety of something on someone else's site, you post a link to that other person's site or perhaps an excerpt and a link. Some folks do this. But some folks just copy the whole thing onto their site and maybe (maybe!) cite me as its author. Last year, a number of sites just copied it and that included a few where the copier either intentionally or accidentally allowed the readers of his site to assume he'd written it and that the incident had happened to him. What's even more baffling is that sometimes they slightly abridge or edit the article, often leaving out the punchline. It's kind of like, "Hmm…I think I'll steal this, ruin it and then take credit for it."

You know, it's one thing to steal. It's another to steal a Christmas story.

I'm not really annoyed at this so much as amazed. A few months ago, whilst Googling myself (admit it, you do it too), I came across a right-wing political site that had ripped-off the entire text and posted it, minus any mention of me. The author didn't explicitly say he'd experienced the incident and written the account but he didn't say that the "I" in the piece wasn't him. Wondering why someone would do that, I dropped him an e-mail and asked ever-so-politely why he hadn't shown me the courtesy of including my byline and a link to my site. For that matter, why hadn't he just put up the link and said, "Hey, go read this"?

I should have known. The answer I got back from him was that he knew his readers would enjoy the piece but he didn't want to send any of them over here where they might read all the America-loathing Commie propaganda I post. He also suggested that since I was a Communist who does not respect property rights, I would obviously have no objection to anyone "sharing the wealth" and taking from others. No response as to why he took credit for the writing of a Communist.

Anyway, it seems to be popping up again on other sites, including one that omitted the punchline. Folks…I appreciate that you want the readers of your site to read the piece but do it the honorable way. Link to this page where I have it up. 'Tis the season to be honest.

It seems to be obligatory for bloggers this morning to write on some or all of the following topics…

1. How I met John Lennon
2. Where I was thirty years ago today when I heard that John Lennon had been murdered
3. What John Lennon's music meant to my life

Taking the last of these first: I mean no disrespect to the dead or to my many friends whose lives were changed by him when I say that it was music I enjoyed but that's about as far as it went for me. This may have been my loss and it may still be my loss, I don't know. Lennon's was the music of my generation but I somehow never connected with most of the music of my generation; not the way so many others do. I guess I'd like to get a word in here on behalf of anyone who was saddened by John's death (and especially with how it occurred) but who wasn't personally touched. Music can mean many things to many people and it doesn't necessarily have to course through your soul to have value. I certainly appreciated him as an artist and a man who impacted so many in such a positive way, even if I wasn't among the impacted.

Where I was: At home, not watching the famous football game where Howard Cosell announced it in such an odd, inappropriate way. I answered my phone and heard a woman in such tears that it was clear someone who meant everything to her had died. It took at least a full minute to figure out who the crying woman was (a lady I'd dated) and who she was crying about…and then I recall not saying much because there wasn't much to say beyond the obvious. It did seem quite inappropriate to say the obvious when you noted the death of John Lennon.

I turned on the news and heard a chilling reference to a deranged loner who'd stalked Lennon and gunned him down outside his New York apartment. It was chilling because I knew (slightly) a fellow who had told me how much he hated both Lennon and Paul McCartney. Why? I didn't pay enough attention to fully comprehend, though I bet it wouldn't have made a lot of sense. It had something to do with how The Beatles were the most important thing in the world and since they'd broken up and taken that away from us, they deserved to die. The fellow didn't seem capable of violence but that's what they say about a lot of people who go up on a tower somewhere and point an automatic weapon at strangers…and the guy was in New York. A bit later when the news identified the "suspect" in custody, I was relieved. I guess I didn't want to spend the rest of my life thinking, "Gee, when that guy said John and Paul deserved to die, I should have called the police…"

How I met him: It was brief, very brief. It was just after I ceased working on Welcome Back, Kotter so that would have made it '77, I guess. I had to go back to the studio, which was the ABC facility in Los Feliz, to meet with Danny Simon (brother of Neil) on a project I was offered. On my way back to the car, I ran into a gentleman I knew who helped manage the facility there. He was showing two people around and when I said hello to him, I guess he thought it would be awkward not to introduce me to the couple he was escorting through the lot. Or maybe he just wanted to give me the thrill of meeting John Lennon and Yoko Ono…which it was, though Mr. Lennon could not have been less interested in meeting me.

We shook hands. Racing to think of something different/witty to say, I fell back on what I occasionally did when meeting someone really, really famous which was to deliberately misstate their credits. It had amused them in the past but at first, Lennon did not laugh when I said, as I did, "This is a great honor. My favorite song has always been your 'I Can't Get No Satisfaction.'" He gave me a look and I thought, Oh, shit. He doesn't get that I'm trying to be funny and Yoko had a look of shock that I will never forget.

But it only lasted a fraction of a second because then Lennon laughed and Yoko realized it was a joke so she laughed too…and I'd like to think he knew exactly what I was doing from the second I said it but decided to play along and react as if he didn't. I mean, someone like John Lennon had to be so weary of meeting people who said gushy things about how they knew every note and word he'd ever written, what I said had to be a little refreshing, right? That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Anyway, I thought the best way I could show my appreciation to the man — and not risk saying anything inarguably stupid — would be to leave him and Yoko alone. So I said, "A pleasure to meet you and to be able to tell everyone for the rest of my life that I met you," and I made sure Yoko understood that she was included in that. And I got the hell away from them.

Later that day, I phoned the fellow who'd introduced us to thank him. He told me that John and Yoko were looking for a place to tape some sort of message to the world about some cause they were championing, which is why he was showing them what ABC Los Feliz could offer. I never heard if they did the broadcast, there or anywhere.

He also confirmed for me that Mr. Lennon was indeed amused, which I was sure glad to hear. Still, I don't think I ever tried that Deliberate Misunderstanding joke with anyone else I ever met who was that famous and important. Then again, who was ever as famous and important as John Lennon?

It was a great evening, even if it wasn't quite what was advertised. It was supposed to be Mel Brooks interviewing Dick Cavett. It turned out to be Dick Cavett sitting there enjoying, as we all did, An Evening With Mel Brooks, complete with an appearance by Special Guest Star Carl Reiner. What Cavett did was to sit there like all of us, howling at Brooks telling anecdotes and diving into wild improvisations. Every so often, he [Cavett] interjected a very funny story of his own but if you hadn't known the evening was supposed to be about him and his new book, little that was on that stage would have clued you in.

Highlights? Dick and Mel got to discussing how the 2000 Year Old Man had come to be and Mel deferred to Mr. Reiner, who was seated in the audience. They handed him a microphone and he rose and told the story…then he and Mel gave us a brief sample. I'll bet most of those in the house thought that alone was worth the price of admission. Mel told about his relationship with Alfred Hitchcock during the making of High Anxiety. He told how Blazing Saddles came to be. He revealed how you hide from Marty Feldman. (You stand right in front of him.) He talked about the time he robbed Howie Morris of everything he owned.

He did impressions. He told a hilarious tale which he said was his most embarrassing moment, which came when he was a guest on the old game show, Eye Guess. After the taping, he saw the host, Bill Cullen, walking towards him with shaky, unbalanced legs. He thought Cullen was trying to amuse him by imitating Jerry Lewis…so Mel went into the same shaky walk. It was only later that he learned Cullen walked that way because he'd had Polio.

Getting back to Blazing Saddles: An audience member asked about reports that it would be the next Brooks musical on Broadway. I'm not sure I got all of Mel's reply — the audio wasn't great up in the balcony where Carolyn and I were — but I believe he said he's moving forward with the show but not for Broadway. He believes the critics would just savage it, no matter what was on the stage. Unsaid but implicit was the phrase, "…like they did with Young Frankenstein." What he now has in mind, he told us, is to do it around the country where he believes it will be wildly successful and to maybe, much later, take it to New York. I gather this tour is not something that's going to happen soon.

That was one of the few good questions from the floor. I've written before here about how lately, public events seem to come to a screaming halt when someone on stage says, "Let's take some questions from the audience." A pretty large chunk of those in the Saban Theater last night got up and left at that point…and sure enough, we had people who got up and talked about themselves. And we had people who seized the opportunity to perform a little (though I did laugh at the guy who complained that he'd been led to believe the evening would consist of Steve Martin talking about his art collection). And we had people whose "question" was something like "I just want to thank you for all the wonderful work you've done" or who began, "I know I speak for everyone here…" I've complained about these self-indulgences before and I'd like to add a new one to the list. If you're posing a question to someone on a stage, it should not be a question to which the answer is, "Yes, you can order it on Amazon."

Even with the lame questions, Brooks and Cavett managed to be quite amusing in response. The whole evening was wonderful. Kudos to the Writers Bloc and its fine leader, Andrea Grossman. They stage these events in L.A. with great success and you can learn about them and sign up for e-mail announcements at this website. Coming soon is an evening with Steve Martin where he will presumably not just talk about how many paintings he owns.

One last memory of the evening: Afterwards, Cavett signed copies of his book in the lobby and Carolyn and I stood in a very long line to get ours inscribed. He laughed when he heard me tell Andrea, who was sitting next to him, "Some day, you oughta do an event where someone interviews Dick Cavett." But I'm quite sure he didn't mind the hijacking. None of us did. We had a great, great time.

If you do a lot of online shopping, check this out. It would seem that some merchant sites will charge you different prices depending on the cookies stored on your computer…or even on what browser you use.

I promised a number of folks that I'd announce here when Cartoon Network began running the second season of The Garfield Show. I still don't know except that the first episode of the new batch is a Christmas-themed half-hour special and that's set to debut on December 13 with many reruns to follow until 12/25. It's called Home for the Holidays and it was written by Garfield creator Jim Davis. I was the voice director of a cast that included Frank Welker, Gregg Berger, Wally Wingert, Audrey Wasilewski, Laura Summer, Jason Marsden, David Lander and Julie Payne, and the animation was directed by Philippe Vidal. It's a real nice story.

So that's one of the 26 episodes we produced for the second season of The Garfield Show. Others are airing in other countries but there's no word yet on when the fine, fine folks at Cartoon Network will put them on in this country. When someone tells me, I'll tell you.

Some amazing photographs which, they say, are not accomplished via Photoshop.

Proposition 8 was back in court today. You can read Walter Dellinger and Emily Bazelon yourself but it's starting to look like it's going to be tossed in California, gay marriage will become the law of the state…and it'll probably (but not definitely) head for higher courts. Those who oppose same-sex wedlock will undoubtedly scream about "activist judges" overturning the will of the people but if the news coverage I've read is accurate, it's more a matter of the 8 backers not being able to mount any sort of coherent argument in court.

And I couldn't help but blockquote this piece of the Bazelon article which talks about lawyer Ted Olson, who's been arguing quite effectively that Prop 8 is unconstitutional…

The Proposition 8 campaigners also said that the law "needs to be enacted because the existence of same-sex marriage will make children prematurely occupied with issues of sexuality," Olson said. "That is nonsense. Such a justification would equally warrant banning comic books, video games, and "conversations with other children." This won the afternoon's biggest laugh. Olson ran with it.

Of course, what's wrong with that is that there are people out there who would love the idea of banning comic books, video games and children being able to talk with other children.

Here's a piece on Dick Van Dyke's new live show which goes into previews this week in Westwood, California. I'm seeing it next weekend.

Matt Taibbi writes about a couple of things but mainly about Social Security. He's right. It would work just fine if the guys in Washington didn't keep pilfering from the trust fund to justify lowering taxes for the very, very rich.

Teller (partner of Penn) discusses Harry Houdini and why he mattered.

You know how I'm always urging you to go see my friend Frank Ferrante as he tours the country playing Groucho? Well, he's not doing that at the moment. He's in Philadelphia at the historic Walnut Street Theatre through January 2. There, he's working in his other identity…that of the flamboyant lounge lothario, Caesar. I saw him portray Caesar recently in San Francisco and can report that he's quite hilarious as this character, as well.

If I could get away to Philly, I'd sure go see him in Caesars Palace O' Fun, which has been described as an outrageous evening of comedy and variety. I can't but perhaps you can. Details and info are to be obtained over at this page.

And fear not: Frank will be back in the Groucho business soon. He's never far from that world. You know what show holds the record for the longest run at the Walnut Street Theatre? It's I'll Say She Is, which opened in 1923 and starred The Marx Brothers. I hope for Frank's sake the dressing rooms have been cleaned since then.

Tomorrow (Monday) night, Turner Classic Movies is running A Face in the Crowd, the 1957 movie starring Andy Griffith that is so often cited these days for its prescience. Keith Olbermann constantly likens Glenn Beck to the central character, Lonesome Rhoades, whose folksy fascism engulfs the nation. Others compare Sarah Palin or other populists to the role Mr. Griffith played I think all these references are a bit overwrought…but only a bit. It airs at Midnight in most time zones and you might want to tune in and decide for yourself. Even if you don't see any analogy to any present-day public figures, you'll at least enjoy a darn good movie.

And if you're setting your TiVo for TCM, you might want to grab the following film and make it a double feature. It's The Sweet Smell of Success (also from 1957) starring Burt Lancaster and Tony Curtis in a devastating look at the press and at a powerful columnist not unlike Walter Winchell. Screenwriter Ernie Lehman had once worked in that world and knew it all too well. It fits in nicely with the other film which, by the way, includes a cameo appearance by Mr. Winchell.