So…what is the profession most respected for its honor and integrity? Nurses. Why they're ahead of doctors, I don't know…maybe because they generally make less money so they seem more devoted to helping the sick. Anyway, take a look at the standings…and notice that they didn't dare ask about guys who write comic books and cartoons.
Monthly Archives: December 2010
Alternative Taxes
So…if we didn't give rich folks the tax break that the G.O.P. wants, what could we do with that money instead?
For Those Who Live in Los Angeles…
On Tuesday, December 7, Dick Cavett will be interviewed about his new book, Talk Show: Confrontations, Pointed Commentary, and Off-Screen Secrets, and he'll be interviewed by Mel Brooks. It's an event held by the Writers Bloc, a local concern that stages evenings where one interesting person questions another interesting person. The second interesting person usually has a new book out and you can usually buy a copy at the event and get it signed, and I assume that will be the case here. It takes place at 7:30 PM at the Saban Theater in Beverly Hills and further details may be found at this link.
On Thursday, December 9, The Hundreds (a new store out in Santa Monica) is kicking off a major promotion involving clothing and merchandise featuring everyone's favorite lasagna-guzzling cat, Garfield. There will be an art show featuring many depictions of said feline by artists other than Jim Davis. There will also be Jim Davis, who will be signing stuff there and a lot of the voice actors from The Garfield Show will be present, as will I…and I'm told Garfield himself will even put in an appearance. It starts at 8 PM at The Hundreds, which is located at 416 Broadway in Santa Monica…and that literally is all they've told me about it.
Toast of the Town
Out in Burbank, right across the street from the Warner [Brothers] Studio, there's a restaurant that I like a lot called the SmokeHouse. It's been there forever — well, since 1946 at least — and it has a rich history, especially for those who are into animation and comic books. Animators used to lunch there all the time. It's right next door to where the U.P.A. studio was located and of course, it's near Warner's and pretty convenient to other studios, as well.
During the forties and fifties, a lot of those animators would moonlight drawing comic books, mostly for either Western Publishing (the Dell line) or for a local artist named James F. Davis, who commissioned work for east coast comic book publishers. At lunchtime, it was not uncommon for Davis and/or an editor from Western to be conducting business — handing out scripts, accepting art, delivering paychecks, etc. — at the SmokeHouse. Nearer the dinner hour, actor Jim Backus could often be found at its bar, hoisting a few to get himself "in character" to go next door and record a Mr. Magoo cartoon.
I started going there in the late seventies when I was working for Hanna-Barbera. There was an H-B exec who lived and worked in Ohio where the parent corporation had an office. He'd come to town about every six weeks and we'd go to lunch to discuss projects relating to my division. Invariably, this occurred at the SmokeHouse where he'd order a full order of the restaurant's famous Garlic Cheese Bread for each of us.
A full order was more than enough for four people. I'd eat a third to a quarter of mine. He'd eat all of his and the rest of my order…and not because he was a big eater. He wasn't. He just loved their Garlic Cheese Bread.
He was not alone. It's still really, really good…easily the best I've ever had. Since then, whenever I have to sup with someone in that area, I usually suggest the SmokeHouse. The rest of the cuisine is pretty good but it's the Garlic Cheese Bread that brings in a lot of diners.
A few years ago, I was one of the partners who owned a restaurant in Hollywood. I didn't make a lot of money off my investment but it was kinda fun to take friends to "my restaurant" and to learn a little about how that kind of business operates. And I almost got an unexpected bonus. One day, the lady who managed the place told me on the phone she'd just hired a new chef. I nodded from disinterest and said something brilliant like, "Uh-huh…" She said, "His name is Felipe and we were lucky to get him. He worked the last twenty years at the SmokeHouse."
"The SmokeHouse!???" Suddenly, the new chef had my undivided attention. I asked her to find out if Felipe knew how to make the SmokeHouse Garlic Cheese Bread. She asked and reported back, "He says he sure does. He made hundreds of orders every day for twenty years." Tingling with excitement, I asked her to ask him if he could tell me the recipe. She inquired and told me, "He said he'd be glad to, next time you come in." I said, "I'm on my way!" And I jumped in my car and headed for the restaurant to learn the secret. I'm not sure what I thought I'd do with it…maybe just whip up a batch when friends visited to impress the heck outta them. But I did figure it sure couldn't hurt to know how to make the best Garlic Cheese Bread in the world. I got there, hauled out a notepad and pen and asked Felipe to spill.
He told me about splitting pieces of French Bread, buttering them with garlic butter and toasting them in a top broiler. "Okay," I thought. "My stove doesn't have a top broiler but for this, I'll buy one." Then I asked him, "What kind of French Bread?"
He said, "The kind the SmokeHouse buyer gets. I never knew where it came from."
"Okay," I said. "That's not important. Now, I've split the French Bread, slathered it with garlic butter and toasted it under the top broiler. What do I do next?"
Felipe replied, "Well then, all you have to do is sprinkle it with the cheese and put it back in the broiler."
"How long do I put it back in the broiler for?"
He said, "Until it's done. I don't know how long. Until it looks right."
"Fine. Now, the big question is…what kind of cheese is it?"
"Garlic cheese."
"What kind of garlic cheese?"
"I don't know. The kind the SmokeHouse buyer orders. We had it in a big box. When we were getting close to running out, I'd tell them and they'd order more. I don't know where it came from."
My notepad didn't have a lot on it and I was desperate to change that. "Was there a name on the box? A brand? A certain kind of cheese?"
"Oh, yes. I remember what kind of cheese it was."
"Don't hold out on me, sir. I am one-sixth your boss. What kind of cheese was it?"
"I told you. Garlic cheese."
So there you have it: The recipe for the greatest Garlic Cheese Bread in the world. Let me know how it turns out.
Actually, I should have known. One of the few things I know about cooking and restaurants — and I knew this even before I invested in that restaurant — is that way too much emphasis is placed on secret recipes. You may have heard all the tales of folks trying to find out what ingredients go into Mrs. Fields' Cookies and in what proportions. Ponce deLeon did not search for the Secret of Eternal Youth with as much gusto as some people have shown in trying to ferret out the well-guarded secret of Debbi Fields' cookie formula.
I don't know what it is, either…but many years ago, I had a business-type meeting with Wally Amos, AKA "Famous Amos." He was the reigning Superstar Cookie Maker before that Fields lady usurped the crown. Nice man, Wally Amos…and he sure made great cookies before he sold off the company which still puts his name on a not-nearly-as-good product.
Mr. Amos wanted to get into the cartoon business…wanted to engage me to bring some character ideas to life. The project never went forward, at least with me involved…but one afternoon, we sat and swapped tales of our respective businesses. I told what I knew about how to make cartoons. He told me what he knew about how to make cookies. I sure got the better of that exchange.
The main thing I learned was that the recipe doesn't matter; that you can make great cookies with the recipe they print right on the bag of chocolate morsels you buy at the supermarket. The secrets are in, first of all, the quality of the ingredients you use…but mainly in how skillfully you combine them, how long you bake them, even in the way you just blend them together.
Which makes sense. You could give me the exact same paints that Edgar Degas used and the same brushes and the same canvas and even get similar fat ladies to pose for me…but that doesn't mean I could produce one of his paintings or anything a zillionth as wonderful. Great art is not about secret formulas and neither is great cooking, at least not completely. Okay, so Chef Felipe couldn't tell me the kind of garlic cheese to use. But I later realized he had told me the real secret of the SmokeHouse Garlic Cheese Bread. It was when he said he'd made hundreds of orders every day for twenty years.
Go Read It!
Here we have an interview with Stephen Sondheim that actually asks him a lot of things I can't recall seeing him asked before.
Today's Video Link
There's a new baby panda, just a month old, down at the Atlanta Zoo. You can find out more about him (and watch streaming video during daylight hours) over at this page. He is, of course, very cute. You may be cute too but you're not as cute as a baby panda. Nothing is. Not even (sniff) me.
Agent of Intolerance
Even Conservative pundits like Dan Drezner think it's stupid to not repeal "Don't Ask, Don't Tell."
Drezner makes mention of "…pop psychoanalysis about what's exactly driving John McCain's truculence." There are a lot of theories out there, most of which involve some desire to kiss up to the extreme right-wing for political advantage. The more I think about it, the more I think that's not it. Even if McCain runs for another term, that's six years from now…a lifetime in politics. If ever there was a guy who now could afford to reach across the aisle and maybe even actually be a maverick, it's John McCain at the moment.
Hey, how's this for a diagnosis from afar of a man I don't know? Having lost his last shot at the presidency, McCain is just trying to show he can still be the most important man in Washington. If he quietly went with the G.O.P. flow, everyone wouldn't be running around asking how they can get John McCain to approve a major policy change. So it's not about gays in the military. It's just about McCain proving he can make people jump through hoops…and oh, yes — it does get him on TV an awful lot, doesn't it?
Just a thought.
Go See 'Em!
Some old newspaper clippings about Mack Sennett and/or The Keystone Kops.
D*E*A*L
Here's one of those Amazon deals that will delight you if you didn't already buy this item and piss you off if you did…especially if you haven't gotten around to watching it yet. It's every single episode of the TV series M*A*S*H plus a bunch of bonus items (including the movie) for $70.00. If you're interested, order right away because this offer will go away soon…like within a day or two, if not sooner.
Today's Video Link
This is a rerun that someone asked me to post here again…
The brilliant comedian Jeff Altman has been a frequent guest with David Letterman as long as Dave's been on TV. They met at the Comedy Store in the mid-seventies and were regulars on a short-lived 1977 variety show featuring everyone's all-time favorite musical group, the Starland Vocal Band. I always loved seeing Jeff appear with Dave, not only because Jeff is so funny — if you ever get the chance to see him live, do not hesitate — but because Letterman always seems so danged happy to have him there. Dave rarely appears pleased to have anyone on but there's always a certain delight when he has Altman in the guest chair. I suspect it's an admiration because Jeff can do all the comedy things that Dave can't: Impressions, characters, physical comedy, etc.
Some time in the eighties, back when Dave was on NBC, his show gave Jeff some money to make some short videos that he could use in his appearances. Jeff decided to shoot some bits where he'd be a "test boy" at NASA, being subjected to various experiments, and he enlisted a couple of friends to help. I was one of those friends. The idea was that we'd tape about thirty ten-second gags and every time Jeff guested with Dave, he'd show three more. They were shot in one long afternoon in a video studio out in Woodland Hills.
Our clip today is a long segment that Jeff did with Letterman and near the end, he shows three of those short vignettes — the only ones that ever aired. Shortly after this, and before the time Jeff was next booked with Dave, there was a huge accident — the Challenger Space Shuttle disaster, I think it was — and someone decided it was not a good time to be making sport of folks who train for NASA missions.
The black guy in the first one is some acquaintance of Jeff's whose name I don't remember. I'm the guy holding Jeff's eyes open in the last one. But the more difficult role I played was holding the leash in the second one, keeping Jeff (a very strong person) away from a friend of mine I asked to come out and put on a bikini for a couple of bits. Her name was Angela Aames and she was a lovely, gifted actress who died unexpectedly one night at one of those ages where you're way too young to be dying unexpectedly. She still has fans and friends who remember her fondly and I'll bet few (if any) knew that that was her in that blackout. So I thought I'd mention it here so that those who Google her name, as so many do, will know.
Don't Let It Be Forgot…
Looking back at the musical Camelot, fifty years after it first opened on Broadway.
Recommended Reading
An interview with Matt Taibbi. I've been following Taibbi's articles about the Wall Street crisis and how finanicial giants have been manipulating the marketplace to swindle people left and right. From what I can see, the responses to him are mainly that he's rude and insulting, not that he's inaccurate.
What You Eat in Vegas Stays In Vegas
This may not interest some of you but heck, it's my weblog and it interests me. I'm oddly fascinated by the business models and practices of the fast food industry. I eat very few of my meals in such establishments these days but it still intrigues me how they market their products and how territorial some of the large chains are. In-N-Out, for instance, has only been in California, Nevada, Utah and Arizona and is just now working its way into Texas. Five Guys (my fave burger joint) is all over some states but just now establishing a presence in mine.
White Castle has long refused to move beyond the borders of certain states. About fifteen years ago, I was at a party in Las Vegas and I met a gent who was a senior exec in a hotel venture that was about to break ground…and he let me in on what he called a "big secret," one which would help ensure that his project was a smash success. Its food court, he told me, was going to include a White Castle. My eyebrows must have gone up about three stories and I said, "Gee, I thought they always refused offers to come out here." He replied that they'd repeatedly refused his but that didn't matter. "I get what I want," he said…and he went on to explain how he was going to crush those bastards at White Castle and force them to sell their sliders in his casino.
That casino has now been open for at least twelve years. There is no White Castle in it, nor is there one anywhere in the state of Nevada. The bastards won, as bastards so often do.
Another one of those territorial chains that some people love is Steak 'n Shake, which is currently in 22 states, none of them out west. As of some time this week though, there's an exception: They're opening one in the South Point in Las Vegas. That's the hotel from which Jerry Lewis does his annual telethon. It's located way off The Strip…one of those places that has to figure out gimmicks to get the tourists to drive there or take a cab. I'll bet Steak 'n Shake brings in a few. There are a few In-N-Out burgers in Vegas and they've become ritual tourist stops. The one on Dean Martin Drive, not far from New York, New York is always jammed with folks from states that don't have In-N-Out. People have been known to get in a taxi at their hotel and have it just take them through the In-N-Out drive-thru, then right back to their hotel. A cab driver once told me a fare had done that and tipped him a double-double with fries and a large Coke. He thought that was great.
Once upon a time, Chinese Food was a major attraction in that town. There were cities in this country where it was difficult if not impossible to get a decent order of Moo Goo Anything. Around the same time as that party where the man was promising to bring White Castle to its knees and Vegas, an aging Casino Host (a guy who'd worked there since he built the city) told me a long, fascinating story of how he'd been sent to San Francisco and the Chinatown therein. His assignment was to find a family that operated a great Chinese restaurant there and make them an offer to relocate to Vegas and run one in the establishment for which this man worked. He spent several days going from Chinese restaurant to Chinese restaurant sampling cuisines — "Greatest job I ever had" — and he finally picked out the one and got them to move. At some of the older hotels like the Barbary Coast and the Stardust, you used to see signs outside that advertised "Chinese Food" like that was some unique offering you could get nowhere else.
So now it's fast food burgers. Fine. Five Guys, by the way, has just announced their first outlet in Las Vegas. I'll let you know when there's a White Castle on The Strip. The bastards can't hold out forever.
One More Post About Leslie Nielsen
Our pal Robert J. Elisberg, to whom I link often, used to be a publicist and in that capacity, worked with Leslie a number of times.
Recommended Reading
Ross Douthat is the New York Times Conservative opinion columnist — one of two if you count David Brooks and I guess we should. The other day here, I agreed with something Douthat wrote about partisanship. Today, I agree with him about Wikileaks, which I think is more of a stunt show than an actual force for keeping bureaucracies honest.