Swap Meat

sizzler01

I have an odd fascination with the operation of restaurants, especially chain restaurants. I watch them the way some folks follow a favorite sports team, noting what those in charge do to win and how they lose. Lately, I feel like Koo Koo Roo — a chain in Southern California that I used to like a lot — seems to be going the way of the Washington Nationals. I haven't seen any profit/loss statements but stores keep closing and when I walk into one of the ones that are left, they just feel like they're not long for the world. The food hasn't been as good as it used to be, either…which is why I'm not walking into the ones they have left very often.

I also, of course, follow the Souplantation and Sweet Tomatoes chain. They usually have my favorite, their Creamy Tomato Soup, for the month of March. I'm waiting to see if they uphold this sacred tradition. I'm also waiting to see if they send me a lot of free coupons as they usually do for mentioning that soup on this site. Hint, hint, hint.

Watching the Sizzler operation is another grand spectator sport. It goes up. It goes down. It reinvents itself. I gather it's on a bit of an uptick now. With the economy as rotten as it is, a lot of folks are skipping the expensive eateries and chowing down at places like Sizzler.

There's a Sizzler near me and once upon a time, it was a great place for lunch or a quick supper. Sergio and I used to often plot Groo stories there and the staff somehow knew who we were and gave us a 20% discount. (Don't mock it. That's the biggest perk I've received in 28 years of doing that comic.) But over the years, the service got bad and the food got worse…and I stopped going there.

Last evening, I was out for a walk and a think. Finding myself near the place and a bit peckish, I decided to stop in…but not for meat. I was going to just graze at the Soup-and-Salad Bar, plus I thought a baked potato might be nice. I recalled that years ago, someone told me that if you're getting the Soup-and-Salad Bar at Sizzler and you ask for a baked potato, they'll bring you one, no extra charge.

So I went in and asked about this. The fellow behind the counter said, "I think they used to do that but we don't now." The Soup-and-Salad Bar at dinnertime is $9.95 and he said it would cost me an extra $2.99 for a baked potato. Then he added, "Of course, you can get the Salad Bar and a baked potato with one of our Value Meals for the same price."

He pointed to the menu on the wall. Sure enough, you can get a six-ounce steak (or six fried shrimp or the Malibu Chicken) for the same $9.95 and that includes a baked potato (or rice or fries or veggies), a piece of cheese bread and, yes, unlimited trips to the Soup-and-Salad Bar. So I ordered that. I almost said, "I'll have the steak dinner…hold the steak" but I figured I could at least taste it and see if it was any better than the ones that made me give up the Sizzler. It was, a little. At least, I've had worse in fancy places.

But doesn't this strike you as a little odd, pricing-wise? If you want the Salad Bar and a baked potato, that's $12.94. But the exact same thing plus a steak is $9.95. (I think they give you the cheese bread either way.)

Seems to me the Sizzler folks are missing a great advertising pitch in these rough economic times: "Buy the Soup-and-Salad Bar and get a free steak dinner, including a baked potato!" And for free, that steak's pretty darn good.