Off the Air

Air America, the "progressive" talk radio experiment, has declared bankruptcy and ceased broadcasting. This may come as news to you because you weren't listening to it and had probably forgotten it even existed. No one was listening to it, not even friends of mine who agree with its underlying philosophy. I couldn't even tell you for sure that it's been broadcasting in Los Angeles the last year or if so, where on the dial. At least at one point, it was on a channel with such a weak signal that you practically had to wrap your entire body in tin foil to pick up its signal.

I actually don't listen to a lot of talk radio of any kind and sometimes wonder who does. If the commercials are any indication of who's listening, then it's all people who either are in dire finanical straits, are worried sick about protecting what little they have, or are in desperate need of a new career. The other night when I was a guest on KABC Talk Radio here in Los Angeles for an hour, I think every single ad either wanted to loan me money, sell me gold or train me for some new job opportunity. Hey, after a hard day writing Groo, having my own vending machine repair route is starting to sound like a vacation.

I listened occasionally to Air America when it first started…mostly to Al Franken, who sure seems to have made the right career move at the right time. I enjoyed what I heard but didn't tune in too often. Hey, I've got things to do with my day. I don't find most political-type talk show hosts to be particularly interesting…or even sincere. Too much of the allegedly political stuff, liberal or conservative, is about the host putting on a show, trying to create drama and therefore tune-in. I don't think Sean Hannity believes what he says; only that saying it is highly lucrative.

What was wrong with Air America in the long run was that it wasn't (a) entertaining and (b) inspiring. Most of the hosts were policy wonks, not showmen. Say what you will about Rush, he knows how to connect. He's also very good at sending a message that right-wingers want to hear: We're winning, we're winning, we're winning. When Republicans triumph in an election, right-wingers can turn on Rush and hear how it's the best possible thing that could have happened for Conservatives. And when Democrats triumph in an election, right-wingers can turn on Rush and hear how it's the best possible thing that could have happened for Conservatives. On those occasions when he can't possibly gin up a silver lining for some loss or news event, he still cheerleads, telling his dittoheads that they may be down for the moment but they'll bounce back, stronger than ever.

By contrast, every time I turned on Air America…well, for a long time (I dunno if she was on the last year or two), I just heard Randi Rhodes whining and saying, "We're screwed, we're screwed, we're screwed." She may have been right about being screwed but, jeez, who needs to hear that when there's music one car-button-push away?

Since I wasn't listening anyway, I won't miss Air America. Some day — probably when a Republican is in the White House — some Liberal with a flair for the performing arts will come along, make a splash in radio and get wealthy. Lots of people will imitate him the way so many have followed Mr. Limbaugh's business model and there'll be a successful left-wing station. But for now, talk radio will remain something that Liberals just can't do, the same way Conservatives can't seem to do comedy. We're also not good at being a majority. Just this week, we went from having 60 votes in the Senate to 59 and somehow became a minority party…