Things I Won't Be Doing

The tallest structure in Las Vegas is the Stratosphere Hotel and up on top, they have several thrill rides…as if just being atop that building wasn't thrill enough. They've just announced the newest one, which will open in April.

It's called Skyjump. They strap you into a special harnessed jump-suit and you jump off the building. A cable rig takes you to the ground — 855 feet below — at a speed of 40 MPH. The press release says nothing about landing safely but I assume that's implied.

Cost for this? A hundred bucks for what I'm guessing is…well, let's do the math on this. 40 miles per hour equals 58.6666(etc.) feet per second. So this is less than a fifteen second ride…and it sounds like to something Dick Cheney would want to do to young Muslim men. I can't believe anyone would want to undergo it, let alone pay a hundred dollars for the experience. Yet I know there are people reading this who are saying to themselves, "What? I have to wait until April?" Well, enjoy yourself. I won't be joining you.