Monthly Archives: June 2009

Jim Van Hise reminded me that back in this post, I mentioned that I was on the set of the new movie, Land of the Lost, based on the old TV series produced by Sid and Marty Krofft, and that there was a story I wanted to tell after it was released. Okay, it's been released…and I don't imagine I need a Spoiler Alert for what follows…

Marty Krofft invited me to be there for the big finale scene on their last day of shooting at Universal Studios. (The following week, they went to New York and filmed scenes with Matt Lauer.) On two conjoined Universal soundstages, they had built an enormous set…one Marty said cost more than the entire combined budgets for the two seasons of Land of the Lost produced for ABC Saturday morn in the seventies. It was the Sleestak Crematorium, which was not unlike a temple for that reptilian race and it was huge…with cavernous walls and many levels and stairways, and giant Sleestak statuary that weighed many tons. As the last shot of the day, they were going to blow it up.

Hey, how do you turn down being there for that?

So I spent the day with Marty and occasionally with Sid, who has this uncanny way of being around when something interesting is happening and disappearing when there's no reason for him to be around. No human being has ever seen Sid Krofft arrive anywhere or leave. He's just there when he should be and gone when things are dull.

It was pretty dull for the hour or three that the crew spent rigging the set with blasting caps and wires and all sorts of gimmicks that would, on cue, destroy the entire Sleestak shrine. It took a long time because, obviously, there couldn't be a second take so it had to be done right. And it took a longer time because the Lakers were in a big playoff game that day and everyone was working with at least one eye on a TV set.

But finally, it came time for the big shot. The stage managers herded everyone into certain areas that would be safe for the viewing. I took up a position right between Marty Krofft and the Fire Marshall, figuring those were the last two guys who were likely to be injured by falling boulders or collapsing walls. And after a lot of checking and double-checking and triple-checking, someone finally yelled "Action!"

Explosions went off. Wires were pulled. Much of the set had been booby-trapped in the preceding hours so that yanking out certain pieces would cause it all to topple like a big game of Jenga. A giant statue fell and walls crumbled. The whole damn crematorium just imploded before our very eyes…and while I haven't seen the movie yet, I can tell you that in person, it was utterly stunning.

When the Stage Manager yelled, "Cut," everyone whooped and clapped and cheered the mind-boggling spectacle we had just witnessed. I turned to find I was next to one of the Special Effects guys I'd met earlier — one of the fellows who had engineered the spectacle we had just witnessed. I said to him, "That may have been the most incredible thing I've ever seen in my life!"

The man had a glum look on his face. With a clear and present note of bitterness, he said, "Yeah…and you know what they'll say when they see this in the movie theaters? 'Good CGI.' We did it for real and nobody will ever know."

Dan Shahin has a question. Let's see if I have an answer…

I won't ask what you thought of Conan's show, but I was hoping you might address something that's been bugging me. Why do they start The Tonight Show and The Late Show at 11:35 in some markets? What does that extra five minutes do for the lead-in news shows, and don't you think that it probably hurts the shows? I mean if it's 11:30 I can start watching The Colbert Report and get sucked in quickly enough that I might never even think to turn to one of the network shows. What am I missing?

The reason local stations like it is that it allows them to stick one extra commercial break into their newscasts. That yields an awful lot of money for most of them.

This started back in the Carson era. Stations were suggesting it. Johnny fought it for a while but finally gave in. At the time, he didn't have the kind of competition that The Tonight Show has today…or that he'd have before he left that institution. But it wasn't that big a concession back then so he allowed it and every local station on every network began expecting it. The trouble, of course, was that once local stations had that extra source of revenue, it was unthinkable to suggest taking it away from them. Supposedly, Mr. Letterman when he went to CBS asked about an 11:30 start and was told it would just cause too much ill will with the affiliates.

The part I don't get here is how Saturday Night Live has been able to resist it.

Hey, remember how I mentioned that David Carradine was a comic book fan? Well, Dan Dillon has a photo that kinda proves it.

After initial numbers in the stratosphere, ratings for The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien have settled down to Leno levels. We always knew we'd get there but I don't think most folks expected it to happen before the first week was out. I still think Conan will do fine, at least until the new Leno show debuts in Fall, whereupon things will get — shall we say? — interesting. But I'll append to my earlier prediction that there's a news cycle crying out to happen — a flurry of articles that say NBC erred by bumping Jay for Conan and that Conan is not performing as well. I don't think that will be a long-term truth but there'll be some week soon where it looks that way and everyone will pounce to write those articles.

I've been crushed with Things That Had To Be Done this week so I've only had time to watch Conan's first show. It struck me as too self-congratulatory and a matter of trying too hard…but it also struck me as atypical of what the program will be like over the longer haul. My other initial reactions are that (a) the set, though beautiful, is too big; (b) Andy Richter belongs on the couch and will get there soon; (c) Conan never looks comfortable to me doing topical material because he's never struck me as a guy who even knows or cares what's happening in the news and (d) I was expecting something a bit less like the same show an hour earlier. But a lot of the prepared bits were very funny and several friends have e-mailed me to say it gets better as the week goes on. So I look forward to catching up over the weekend.

I probably haven't done enough plugging here of The Best of Simon and Kirby, a smashing new book that reprints glorious helpings of comic book work by the team supreme of Joe Simon and Jack Kirby. I wrote a batch of intros for it but that's not at all why I'm recommending it. It's Simon and Kirby and it's very well done in terms of reproduction and presentation. That's why I'm recommending it. Here's an Amazon link to order a copy if you haven't already…and if you need more convincing (God knows why), here's an interview with the book's editor, Steve Saffel, who did a fine job on this and who will doubtlessly do a fine job on subsequent volumes in this series.

I will also add that this is an authorized reprint collection. The Jack Kirby Estate gave its blessing (and has financial participation) and Joe Simon licensed and supervised the whole package. There are a lot of books out there that are reprinting vintage comic book material without the permission of the creators or their families…and in some cases, in the direct disapproval of those folks. Some of this material is public domain. Some of it isn't, or the status is arguable, and the publishers are trusting that their operations are small-time enough that the rightful owners won't find it cost effective to sue. In any case, most of the unauthorized or p.d. reprints are as disrespectful of the material (in terms of reproduction) as they are of the rights/wishes of the creators or their heirs.

One of the reasons I'm proud to have contributed to this Simon-Kirby project is that it is authorized and that, not coincidentally, a lot of time and expense went into making the material look as good as humanly possible. A gent named Harry Mendryk deserves a lot of the credit. So does Steve Saffel and so, of course, does Joe Simon for saving so many pieces of the original art or good photostats, thereof.

I have a personal problem with supporting with my dollars, certain projects that I think trample on the rights of creators, even though perhaps legally. If that doesn't matter to you, it might matter that when these books are done with the participation of the creators or their offspring, there's a much better chance of them being done right. This Simon and Kirby book was done right.

Dick Cavett discusses one of the smartest men he's ever met…Dr. Jonathan Miller. And there's a video embed of an old Dick Cavett Show that proves it.

Over on his weblog, which I cannot recommend often enough, Ken Levine often writes about joke stealing. Sometimes, it's a coincidence. Sometimes, it's a crime punishable by death or working for basic cable, whichever's worse. Anyway, I only have about 900 anecdotes on the topic. Here's one…

As you may remember if you watched Welcome Back, Kotter, each episode used to open and close with Gabe Kaplan telling someone (his wife, usually) a very old joke. That was kind of the point of the segments; that Mr. Kotter had all these real old jokes…the kind that belong to no one, that people just tell one another.

The jokes were often not written into the script. If they were connected with the storyline of that particular episode, they were. But if not, they'd be handled as follows: Before it came time to tape one, we (the writers) would tell Gabe a couple of jokes and he'd pick one. Then he'd go out and "wing it," telling the joke to, say, Marcia Strassman, who played his spouse. Kaplan's delivery was usually better if he was just doing the joke from memory, putting it into his own words, and Marcia's reaction would be more natural because she hadn't heard the joke in rehearsals.

So in one episode we gave Gabe the hoary line about the guy who was so paranoid that when he went to a football game and the players got into a huddle, he thought they were all talking about him. This is an ancient joke that was probably heckled in some form at the Parthenon. The day after that show aired, we got a hysterical call from a then-semi-prominent (today, largely forgotten) stand-up comic. That joke was from his act, he said. That was his joke and he was demanding the address of the writer who'd written that episode because he was going to sue the thief into oblivion.

Our producer explained to the comic that, first of all, the credited writer of that episode hadn't written that joke. And secondly, no one who lived in the current century had written that joke. The comedian calmed down…but only a little. He agreed to not pursue legal action but warned that he would if ever again, one of "his" jokes was purloined for our show.

Fade out, fade in. A week later. Another show had aired. Another old joke in the ending…I don't recall what it was but the comedian was back on the phone, screaming that we'd stolen it from his act. Again, the producer told him that the joke was public domain and that it wasn't his. "If you want to spend the money on a lawyer and sue us, I can't stop you," he told the guy. "But our lawyer will just find a clip where some comic did that joke on The Ed Sullivan Show in 1955 and you'll lose and look ridiculous!" The comedian cussed and hung up in anger…and two weeks later, he was back again with the same complaint. We'd stolen a joke from his act.

This went on half the season. The comic kept calling with threats. Finally, one of our other producers took one of the calls and this is what he said: "Okay, you're right. We have a tape here of your act and each week, we play the tape and pick a joke to use. We've already taken the best ones and we were going to stop and let you keep the rest. But you're pissing us off with these calls so we're going to keep taking jokes until you have no act left at all."

The comedian said, "Oh, please, don't! I won't call again!" He hung up and that was the last we heard from the guy…and I mean that literally. I don't think I ever saw him perform anywhere ever again. I have the feeling that he's working somewhere waiting tables and when people recognize him and ask, "Why aren't you on TV anymore?," he tells them, "Welcome Back, Kotter stole my act."

Sad to read, of course, of the apparent suicide of actor David Carradine. To all the obits (like this one), I'd like to append one point of interest: David Carradine was one of the first "media celebrities" to ever show up at what is now called the Comic-Con International. He may have been The First…and from what I could tell, he was there because he loved the form, not because he was promoting a product or seeking work. But there he was at the third or fourth con, back before it was called Comic-Con International, browsing the room and talking to folks and when asked, even graciously posing for photos with fans. Matter of fact, I recall he even wanted his photo with some of the great comic creators whose work he'd admired.

His accomplishments in film and television are formidable and noted elsewhere. I just thought I'd mention another small chunk of his legacy.

Some time ago here, we reported that the Bob Baker Marionette Theater in downtown L.A. was fighting to keep its doors open. It's a fun, historic place that has kept the art of puppetry alive and hosted skillions of kids' birthday parties over the years. Well, now it's been designated a historic cultural landmark…and we're so pleased by this, we'll spare you the joke about how someone had to pull a lot of strings to make it happen.