That's when I had my Gastric Bypass Surgery. I'm sure for some people the procedure is wrong and disastrous but for me, it was maybe the smartest thing I've done in my entire life. (Admittedly, it doesn't have a lot of competition for that honor…)
People always ask, "Did you have any complications?" Really, no. I've had a few problems but they're smaller and more fixable than the ones I'd have had if I were still carrying around the hundred+ pounds I forfeited. I was pre-diabetic and now I'm not. My feet hurt if I walked more than about a half-mile in a day. Now, they don't. I sleep better. I feel better. More important than you might imagine is that I now feel like I fit into the world better. I can go into a restaurant without worrying that I won't fit into the booth or the chair won't hold me. I don't recommend G.B.S. for everyone but losing weight if you're too fat? Hey, that works.
What else is different besides wearing pants that are five sizes smaller? Well, I eat less. Sometimes, I'm having lunch with someone and can only finish about a third of a normal portion, whereupon I have to convince my dining companion and/or the server that I don't dislike my meal. My taste for sugary things disappeared suddenly in January of '08. One moment it was there; the next, it was gone…and now I probably consume about as much sugar per month as I used to eat in two days. (This is not a usual effect of G.B.S.) My digestion is better as long as I avoid spicy foods. Never liked them a lot and never handled them well…and now I like them less and they cause me more problems.
I can buy clothes at Costco. I don't need the seat belt extender on airplanes. My mother thinks I look like her son again. And until I got a new driver's license photo, I occasionally had trouble proving I was me.
There are others but really, it's just been an amazing change, wholly for the better. I tell you this because throughout those three years, I've heard from quite a few folks who read about what I'd done or saw me at conventions and said some variation of "Hey, if that clown can do it…" and I'm real happy about that. If you can help yourself, great. If you can help yourself and others can profit from it as well, so much the better.
I'm also pleased I did not inspire a flurry of surgical procedures. Most who wrote to say they'd been inspired did not go the Gastric Bypass route. They did it via eating less and exercising more, which is the way to go if you can make it work for you. I couldn't but if you can, you have my respect and envy.
The key thing is just that they decided to do something, as opposed to being hectored into it. Before I tackled my weight problem, I was occasionally nagged by others to do something. Most meant well — I'm convinced at least one did not — but all generally did more harm than good. One friend who, I'm told, tells people that he saved my life with his one lecture will never understand or believe how far he set me back, knocking me off-course with his well-meant (I assume) unsolicited intrusion.
What did help me was the wise counsel of two separate physicians who talked to me in a pragmatic, useful manner, saying things that allowed me to grab onto the problem and take meaningful control of it. I'll not repeat their words of guidance here because they were Mark-specific and might have the opposite impact if applied to someone else. The best thing the doctors did was to not tell me what to do and to allow that to remain my job. They just helped me to get better at it. As I've learned, there's a big difference between taking charge of a situation and being swept along via circumstances that are out of your control. Appreciating that distinction was key for me. Because of it, I think I not only made the right decision but made it at just the right time.
This all may sound like double talk to some but there will be people out there who will get it, and maybe some of them need to get it. If you have a problem — and this applies to things other than excessive girth, as well — you need to own it. Wrap your brain all around it from every angle. Understand why you have it and why you want to get rid of it…and don't let anyone tell you those whys. They don't know you as well as you know you.
Then, once you're in charge and it's truly your problem to solve, you have a good shot at solving it. That does not mean you have to do it alone. Seek out those who can help you solve it, give you options, teach you about the various solutions. Just don't let it become their problem. Let it remain yours. You have to be The Decider…and let's hope you're better in that role than George Bush was.
It's important to be realistic and to not overdramatize, especially to yourself. People say to me, "You saved your life." I don't believe that. I think I saved myself a lot of health problems down the line. I made my life better but I don't think I extended it any. (Don't try to figure out what difference it makes, so long as I lost the weight. It made a difference to me and that's all that matters here.)
Last night, a lady on Facebook pulled me into chat to ask my advice about her girth, which from the way she described it makes the old me sound like a jockey. We switched to a phone call and I gave her all the stuff I pass off as wisdom, which is pretty much what I just wrote here: Understand the problem from all sides, understand the possible solutions…then pick one. Just make sure you're the one who does the picking and that you don't skip the stage about understanding the problem.
That's about all I have to say on this topic. A happy third anniversary to my lap. It's been nice having one again.
