All I Can Eat

More hotels in Las Vegas are trying out that new kind of meal deal where you pay one flat fee per day and get unlimited access to the buffet. The Luxor charges $35, The MGM Grand charges $30 on weekdays and $40 on weekends, the Stratosphere charges $20 ($25 at certain times) and the Excalibur, which started this idea, charges $25. That's for as many visits per day as you like, as much as you can eat. The Luxor deal even includes beer and wine.

I'm curious about the math on these offers. When buffets started in Vegas, they were priced so low the house would rarely break even on anyone's gorging…but they were good investments. They brought in the gamblers. So what if the hotel lost four bucks per person with the buffet when the average guest who walked in the door was leaving five pounds heavier but $20-$40 lighter? At some point, however, prices were adjusted upwards and now most hotels make a profit on their buffets…though maybe not if you consider how many slot machines might be situated in the same floor space. In that sense, there's still a bit of "loss leader" in some buffets.

So I wonder if these all-day dining passes are in that vein. If you did purchase one at the MGM Grand, let's say, I don't think you'd be straying far from the place. Might that not discourage you from wandering across the street to New York, New York for a little gaming? Are you going to eat breakfast at the MGM Grand, then go downtown for a while, then catch a cab back to the MGM Grand for lunch? Seems to me you'd have to eat at least three meals a day at the same buffet to have a chance at getting your money's worth.

That's possible (even easy) for Max, the cat I feed at my back door…but I'm not sure most human beings could do it. In 50-some-odd trips to Las Vegas and other Nevada towns that have buffets, I can't recall ever visiting more than one buffet within a span of 24 hours…and that was back before I had a doctor-type person reduce the size of my stomach. Matter of fact, buffets don't really work for me at all now, not so much because of quantity but timing. Instead of eating three normal-size meals a day, I function better if I eat six or seven small ones which collectively equal about two normal-size meals.

Where the all-day dining option might work for me is if I could take in my laptop and sit there all day working on it…and then every time I felt like a snack, I could wander over to the steam tables and get a cup of soup or a lamb chop or a handful of mashed potatoes (I detest serving spoons) or a slice of that weird roasted animal they pass off as Prime Rib. That would be ideal but somehow, I don't think they'll let me do this.