I Scream, You Scream…

If no one's e-mailed this to you, wait. You'll have twenty copies in your mailbox by morning. The premise is that after Ben & Jerry's concocted an ice cream flavor in honor of Barack Obama — it was called Yes, Pecan — they (or someone) wanted to come up with a flavor to honor George W. Bush. Here, from an e-mail I received from Dawna Kaufmann, are some of the suggestions…

  • Grape Depression
  • Abu Grape
  • Cluster Fudge
  • Nut'n Accomplished
  • Iraqi Road
  • Chock 'n Awe
  • WireTapioca
  • Impeach Cobbler
  • Guantanmallow
  • Impeachmint
  • Melon Head
  • Good Riddance, You Lousy Motherf*cker
  • Heck of a Job, Brownie
  • Neocon Politan
  • Rocky Road to Fascism
  • The Reese's-cession
  • Cookie D'oh
  • The Housing Crunch
  • Nougalar Proliferation
  • Death by Chocolate
  • Death by Torture
  • Credit Crunch
  • Country Pumpkin
  • Chunky Monkey in Chief
  • George Bush Doesn't Care about Dark Chocolate
  • WMDelicious
  • Chocolate Chimp
  • Bloody Sundae
  • Caramel Preemptive Stripe
  • Pretzel Choker
  • I Broke the Law and Am Responsible For the Deaths of Thousands…With Nuts

People of Color

Over on this weblog, they're pondering what is to them a mystery: Who colored the early issues of Fantastic Four? Those comics had credits for the writer, artists and letterer but the person who applied the often-inspired hues was always unidentified and unheralded. Indeed, it was not until the mid-seventies that any comics credited the colorists…and actually, there was a reason for this, though not a good one.

Used to be, back in the pre-computer era, that when you were moving a comic book through production, the last step before you got to the coloring was to finalize the black-and-white line art. You'd get all the pictures and lettering done and proofed and corrected and you'd make stats of it all and then it would go to the colorist. So at the moment you finished the credits, the colorist hadn't started his/her job yet and therefore might be unchosen…or if chosen, might still change. So they just didn't worry about a credit for the colorist because it was easier that way.

In the mid-seventies, companies became a bit more sensitive about this and realized they were snubbing an important member of the team. So they went to a little more trouble and began inserting the name of the colorist even if it meant going back in later and inserting or correcting that credit, and it's now the norm.

Back in the sixties, especially the early sixties, the name of the guy who colored most Marvel books was Stan Goldberg. That's a photo of Stan up above. I took it last year at the New York Comic-Con. That's the guy who colored the cover to Amazing Fantasy #15. That's the guy who decided on the color schemes of most of Marvel's major original characters…the person who said, "I'm going to make the Hulk green!" Stan Goldberg.

Stan was and still is a fine comic artist who when he draws, works mostly in the "Archie" style. In fact, these days, he works mostly on the Archie comics. In the fifties and sixties, he drew in that manner for Marvel books like Millie the Model. He was also freelancing for Archie back then, which was another reason he didn't get (or want) credit for his coloring work.

The editors at the Archie company then didn't like their freelancers to freelance for other companies and especially to be involved in comics that aped the Archie style. To keep them from finding out what else he was doing, Stan didn't push for credit for his coloring work…and most of his Millie comics were signed just "Stan G." to preserve a bit of anonymity. There was even a period when he was especially fearful of Archie realizing he was drawing Millie so it was signed "Solly B.," and folks thought it was Sol Brodsky, Marvel's production manager and an occasional artist for the company. Nope. Sol was just lending his name to the effort so the Archie editors might not realize Stan Goldberg was drawing those comics. Stan got screwed on credits no matter what he did.

Stan didn't or couldn't color every single issue and at some point, as Marvel's publishing increased and he got more work drawing, others would do the honors, including Brodsky, Marie Severin, Bill Everett and a lot of other folks who either worked in the office or were related to someone who worked in the office. It always seemed like a good job for someone to give his wife or children. But from the late fifties up 'til around '67 or '68, the vast majority of those comics were colored by Stan Goldberg.

And before anyone asks: DC had a whole in-house department that consisted of Jack Adler, Tommy Nicolosi, Sol Harrison, Jerry Serpe and several others who did the coloring up until the early seventies when others began taking it over. One of these days, I should do a long, in-depth piece about coloring theories as they differed from company to company, and even over the years at the same company. For now, just remember the name of Stan Goldberg and mention it often. Given how little recognition he got in the past, he's deserving of as much as we can give him.

Today's Bonus Video Link

The F.A.A. today released recordings of the conversations between the Air Traffic Controllers and the pilot of U.S. Airways flight 1549 — the one that made that spectacular landing in the Hudson River recently. You can hear them on most of the news sites but the presentation that Keith Olbermann did on his show this evening was the clearest one I came across. It also includes Olbermann's account of a brief encounter with the pilot, Chesley Sullenberger…

VIDEO MISSING

The Sporting Life

Back in this message, we talked about the Sportsmen's Lodge, out in Studio City, just over the hill from Los Angeles proper. The Sportsmen's Lodge is/was a sprawling complex of restaurants, places to hold banquets and other meetings, and a hotel. We told you in that message that it had closed…and it has, sort of. If you drive by, you'll see all sorts of signs announcing that and there have been many news reports. Apparently though, it's the restaurants and meeting facilities which have been closed for a makeover. The hotel, which has recently had some renovation work, is open and not doing so well because no one knows they're still in business.

They have only themselves to blame for this confusion. Their website still has an ad up to celebrate New Year's Eve there and it says, "Join us for the closing of the historic Sportsmen's Lodge." Still, I wanted to set the record straight.

Recommended Reading

A lot of folks, some of whom have major political differences with me, have written to thank me for turning them on to Fred Kaplan's articles in Slate. Many more will thank me for today's link to this piece which explains what the hell is going on with Afghanistan.

Thursday Afternoon

You might not be aware of it but the retrial of Phil Spector has been going on for a few months now. Spector was charged with murder in the death of actress Lana Clarkson but his first trial ended in a deadlock with ten jurors voting to hang him and the other two somehow perceiving Reasonable Doubt. The Phil Spector Murder Trial (version 2.0) is now in its defense rebuttal stage and compared to the first go-round, it's received surprisingly little press coverage.

From what I've been able to glean, it's "Second verse, same as the first," with a few more ladies coming forth to testify that at some point, Spector pointed firearms at them. Oddly, part of the defense effort to knock down this image of Spector as guy who threatens women with guns is to establish that he also sometimes threatened men with guns, too. One of Spector's own lawyers is quoted as saying of this strategy, "The alternative is allowing the jury to believe Mr. Spector hates women and women only."

Good thinking there. If someone is always threatening women with guns and a woman gets shot by his gun, that might lead someone to think he shot her. But if he threatens everyone…well then, he's probably harmless. I can see that.

I've been unable to find any guesstimates of when a verdict might be in. This is annoying because as you may recall, I've decided that if this man is acquitted, I'm going to go on a killing spree. I'm Caucasian, I'm in show business and I even have bad hair. If Spector goes free, I'll go free. My big problem is that at the moment, there's really no one out there I want to kill. I wish they'd give me some idea of when this trial will be over so I'll know how long I have to plan out my killing spree. Also, I apparently have to make sure to threaten more people than I actually shoot.

Today's Video Link

Just watch this one…

Recommended Reading

My former writing partner Dennis Palumbo is now a psychotherapist who specializes in the needs of actors, writers, producers and other practitioners of the business called "Show." In this article, he talks about a problem which, if not unique to folks in creative fields, is certainly worse in that world.

M Squad

I usually don't do these little list games that make the rounds but I occasionally do things I usually don't do. The way this works is that each answer you give has to start with the same letter as your first name. You're not allowed to repeat an answer and if you're "tagged" by someone whose name starts with the same first letter, you can't repeat any of their answers, either. Here's what I came up with…

  1. What is your name: Mark
  2. A four letter word: Meat
  3. A boy's name: Mork
  4. A girl's name: Mindy
  5. An occupation: Michael Jackson impersonator
  6. A color: Mauve
  7. Something you wear: Mickey Mouse ears
  8. A food: McNuggets
  9. Something found in the bathroom: Maid
  10. A place: Milky Way
  11. A reason for being late: Married
  12. Something you shout: "Mommy!"
  13. A movie title: Mothra
  14. Something you drink: Moxie
  15. A musical group: Manhattan Transfer
  16. An animal: Moose
  17. A street name: Marvin Gardens
  18. A type of car: Mercedes Benz
  19. A song title: "Mairzy Doats"
  20. A verb: Moon

It's times like this you wish you had a friend named Xavier. Just so you could send the challenge to him and hear him scream.

Today's Video Link

If you've never quite decided how you feel about the Three Stooges, this will settle things. This is the entirety of Micro-Phonies, all seventeen minutes of it. Made in 1945, it's widely hailed as their best and while some Stooge Connoisseurs might dispute that point, I don't think anyone would deny that if you don't like this one, you're just plain never going to like the guys. End of argument.

VIDEO MISSING

The First Time Ever I Saw Your Facebook

Around every ninth e-mail I receive these days is asking me to join or become "friends" via some online community…Facebook, LinkedIn, MySpace, Grouply, Yaari, etc. Half of these are requests from people whose names I don't recognize…or sometimes, I'm not sure if it's who I think it is. I just got an invite to connect on one network with someone named Dave Schwartz. I know four different people named Dave Schwartz and have no idea which of them, if any, this is. Maybe they can all get together and start an online community where everyone is named Dave Schwartz. I'd certainly join it if my name were Dave Schwartz.

Some of these requests involve me joining a whole new site and this is usually more trouble than it's worth. Last week, an old friend from high school invited me to participate in some social networking site which I think is based in Spain. To become a member and accept the invite, the site requires me to fill out a long, nosey questionnaire that asks many things for which the proper answer would be along the lines of, "None of your business, jerkwad." It also demands that I upload my address book so it can send invites to everyone in it. Those of you who are in my address book will be pleased to know I did not do this.

But I've joined up with most of the others and I'm not sure why. I'm apparently networking all over LinkedIn, which means that I have some new and tenuous connection to strangers who have tenuous connections to people I know or who have tenuous connections to people who know people I know. So far, it hasn't done a thing for me except that I keep getting pinged and poked and nagged about not accepting the invite from someone I never heard of before in my ever-lovin' life.

I'm even getting friend invites from cartoon characters and dead people. Bill Hanna just made me a friend on Facebook, which is the first time I've heard from him since he told me a Yogi Bear script was late in 1983. Even though I attended Mr. Hanna's funeral in 2001, I'm not 100% sure this isn't him. He was kinda sneaky.

Actually, Facebook doesn't look bad and it might even be useful. I have some friends I'd rather consort with there than in person. Alas, the rest just baffle me. Some of them look like attempts to bring order and uniformity to blogging and e-mailing, which of course drains much of the joy. It's like when you were a kid and you were having fun with other kids…and then some older person would come along and try to organize games. Those games weren't as much fun because they weren't yours.

Before I end this, I have to ask: Please don't invite me to connect with you on any service unless I'm already on it because I'm not joining any more of these things. And I will be glad to be your friend even if we don't do it through Facebook or LinkedIn or any of these online institutions. In fact, just assume I'm your friend right now…and no, you cannot borrow money. I don't know you that well and probably never will.

Hollywood Labor News

Screen Actors Guild president Alan Rosenberg has sued his own union to attempt to reverse the recent action by their national board in which Executive Director Doug Allen was fired and the negotiating committee was replaced. Rosenberg's application for a temporary restraining order was denied today but he says he will try again.

What seems to be going on here is that Mr. Rosenberg woke up one morning and realized that there might be some aspect of SAG that wasn't divided and dysfunctional, and he filed his lawsuit to try and correct that oversight.

Really. I admire Rosenberg's devotion to his guild and I even think he set out on the current negotiation with all the right goals and values. But things have gone horribly wrong and right now, SAG needs to get out of its current bargaining position while its members still have their underwear, and they need to begin healing and rebuilding and dialing down the anger. This is a time for the guy in charge (still) to be uniting his union, not filing lawsuits against it.

More on Branded

Quite a few folks wrote to remind me that in its second season, Branded took an odd twist, undermining its own premise. Jason McCord was suddenly functioning as a special secret-secret government agent, investigating for and reporting to President Ulysses S. Grant. The opening with him getting kicked out of the army stayed the same but once you got into the episodes, things were different. How did I not recall that? Because I stopped watching the show when they made that switchover. Apparently, a lot of people did.

Several folks also told me that that DVD set contains trimmed (for syndication) prints and not especially good ones. So be wary.

Today's Video Link

Today, class, we're going to look at the opening to Branded, a series that ran two seasons on NBC ('65 and '66) and starred Chuck Connors. He played Jason McCord, a West Point graduate who was unceremoniously drummed out of the Army back in the days of the Wild West. McCord was the sole survivor of an infamous massacre which occurred at someplace called Bitter Creek, and the working assumption was that he'd fled in a moment of cowardice instead of doing the manly deed and dying along with the rest of his buddies.

We, of course, knew he'd done no such thing. I mean, come on. He was Chuck Connors. But each week, we'd see this opening of him having his sword broken…a very long vamp when you consider it was only a half-hour show. Then he'd set out to find the proof that would clear his name and prove he wasn't a yellow-bellied, lily-livered deserter. Invariably in his quest, he'd run into someone who'd lost a loved one at Bitter Creek who would hate him and throw things at him because he hadn't also died there.

Nevertheless, he'd get involved in this person's problems. He'd save the day and prove his bravery…but the proof of his non-cravenness at Bitter Creek would remain elusive. So at the end, the person who'd previously hated him would say, "I believe you're a man and I wish I could help you" and McCord would wander off to the next village and the next person who would hate him because they'd lost a loved one at Bitter Creek. It was all rather joyous in its repetition.

Another fun part of the show is that at some point in each episode, there'd be some cowboy with a few lines of dialogue who clearly lacked the skill to deliver them. You'd hear this terrible reading and you'd know, "That's the Dodger!" Earlier in his life, Chuck Connors had been a pro baseball player and I guess he still palled around with them. Whatever the reason, Los Angeles Dodgers were always popping up in little cameo roles and committing acting errors. But maybe it was good luck because the team won the pennant both years that Branded was on the air.

Both of those seasons are out on DVD — here's a link if you want to order Volume 1 — and they aren't bad if you don't watch more than one in a row. The series was produced by the game show company, Goodson-Todman, probably as a result of some old NBC contract where they renegotiated the terms for one of their quiz programs and received as a bonus, a commitment to produce something in a different genre for prime time. (One of my first TV writing jobs was on a sitcom produced by Monty Hall's company — a commitment Monty got in exchange for another season of Let's Make a Deal. Or maybe NBC traded it for Door Number Three…)

Here's the opening of Branded and I ask you: Does that man look like a coward?

Go Watch It!

Hey, here's a great way to spend eight and a half minutes. Our pal Jerry Beck of Cartoon Brew Films has assembled a little video history of Superman's early animated appearances and parodies. You'll especially enjoy Super (Little) Lulu. Here's the link.