Monthly Archives: October 2008

Just talked to Chuck McCann on the phone. He said, "Hey, tell all the folks who read your blog that I'm on Boston Legal again Monday night!" I always do everything Chuck tells me.

We're greatly enjoying The Incredible Mr. Don Knotts, a book about…well, you can probably figure out who it's about. Its focus is on the many, many motion pictures in which one of the world's most beloved comic actors appeared. You forget how many there were…but Stephen Cox and Kevin Marhanka haven't forgotten. They cover each and every one with detailed info, clever commentary and interviews with Knotts's co-stars and co-workers.

Not that the book isn't rich with vital info but I'd have liked to know more about one of Don's odder films, The Love God? (Its title included the question mark.) The movie was written and directed by the great Nat Hiken, creator of the Sgt. Bilko show and Car 54, Where Are You?, the latter another title that included a question mark. As I wrote here, this is not a great movie but I've heard from several folks that the original script, before Hiken began rewriting it and changing it, was quite brilliant. Just one of those things that intrigues me.

Pretty much everything Don Knotts ever did intrigued me. He was even fun to watch in his weaker movies, which Cox and Marhanka knowledgeably critique. It's about time someone wrote this book and I'm glad it was two guys who did such a good job. Order one here or order it somewhere else…but get a copy.

Here's an article about that panel I appeared on Tuesday night at USC…the one about Humor and Politics.

I just watched a little of a Sarah Palin speech. I get the feeling this woman has given up running for Dick Cheney's job and is now after Ann Coulter's.

In one memorable episode of The Dick Van Dyke Show, the star played Stan Laurel and guest Henry Calvin played Oliver Hardy. You all remember that episode? The one at the lodge? Where Rob Petrie and Laura and Buddy and Sally all wound up performing in a show? That episode.

Well: The folks over at Heritage Auctions are currently offering up for bid, a true rarity. It's the actual fake mustache that Mr. Calvin wore in that sketch. It's in two pieces and here's what it looks like…

Minimum bid is around $150. I think you have to register with the Heritage site to view this auction listing but here it is. If you do bid, you won't be bidding against me. I'm saving my money for when they auction a painting by Artanis.

Two days after Thanksgiving of 2007, I was in Columbus, Ohio for the Mid-Ohio Con when my house sitter phoned to say that water was leaking through the ceiling of my kitchen and dining room. This is just what you want to hear when you're far from home.

A hose had broken on an upstairs toilet. I instructed her on how to turn off the H2O and when I returned, I called in the insurance people…and I must say, they really delivered the way you want insurance people to deliver but always hear they never do. The Claims Adjuster lady was here in less than 24 hours and the next day, specialists in water damage were dismantling my cabinets and doing a full-on removal of mold and possible contamination. Then all efforts turned to reconstruction…and I've been happy with 100% of the craftspersons and contractors who work with the insurance company and — best of all — are paid by them, not me.

But of course, I am paying some of it. Insurance writes the checks to put everything back more or less the way it was, and if you want to seize the opportunity to upgrade or redesign a little, you pay the difference. I asked the contractor what percentage of "victims" decide, like I do, to reconfigure their living quarters in these situations. He said, "Damn close to 100%." My architect (who works for me, not them) however told me — and he seems to be right — that you get a great price this way. You might expect the contractors to gouge you for the extra work since you kinda have to let them do it and not go get competitive bids…but no. The contractor in this case gets so much business from the insurance company that the last thing he wants is for me to complain to them about him ripping me off.

So all that is peachy. What isn't is…well, you can guess this part. It's more than ten months later and the work still isn't completed. Through no fault of the contractors — my work and travel schedules, including my trip to this year's Mid-Ohio Con, have been a partial impediment — I've been sans kitchen for most of '08, reduced to a refrigerator, a microwave, a toaster, a lot of paper plates and a little pile of menus from restaurants that deliver.

Last week, they finally painted and installed the new countertops. I know you're all dying to know what I picked so here are some swatches. The walls are this color…

It's called "Marmalade." The countertops are DuPont™ Corian® in their "Festival" pattern, which looks a lot like those cookies I used to love but no longer eat. Here's a taste of it…

I don't know how well they'll go together on your monitor but they look great in my kitchen. Now if I only had a stove, a dishwasher, running water or lights in there with them. Mostly, it's a matter of getting everyone here in the proper sequence. The painters couldn't do the final touch-up until the floor was in…and the floor couldn't be put in until the cabinets were in…and the cabinets couldn't be put in until the electrical was in…and the hip bone's connected to the thigh bone…

Nevertheless, we keep hope alive. As I sit here blogging, my spirits are buoyed by the sound of burly men down in that room at this very minute, laying that new floor. Then my plumber — who is not named Joe — is due by this afternoon to fix stuff that has to be fixed in conjunction with that new floor. (He has to come back later to hook up the dishwasher after I get the new dishwasher, which I couldn't have delivered until they finished with the floor.) Maybe I'll even be able to cook in there this Thanksgiving. If not, the one after for sure…

Barack Obama and John McCain appeared this evening at an annual event in New York called the Alfred E. Smith Memorial Dinner. This is a fancy, white-tie affair where the tradition is for the candidates to sup together like they're old pals and then get up and deliver funny speeches.

I'm not sure how I feel about this. The other night, these two men were sitting across a table concurring that it was important to talk about the issues…and here they are acting like they're on a Dean Martin roast of LaWanda Page. In one way, it was nice that they were civil and jocular with one another and said some unambiguously complimentary things. (There was also a little knifing but it was good-natured knifing.)

On the other, there's a tinge of hypocrisy for them to be quite this buddy-buddy. It also bothers me to think there's someone, somewhere who might be motivated (or more motivated) to vote for a guy — any guy — because he did a good job of reading a speech that someone else wrote. That's not unlike, "I'm going to vote for George W. Bush because he seems to me like the kind of guy it would be fun to have a beer with." You hate to see that kind of reason cancel out the vote of someone who actually thought about issues.

All that said, the speeches at the Smith Dinner were rather funny. Each man had some good lines and it's a shame the folks who thought of them will probably get zero credit. Video of the dinner was shown on Larry King Live this evening (that's where I saw it) and there's a rerun of that show in three hours. The dinner also reruns on C-Span at 12:33 AM and then at 6:11 AM. Both times are Eastern and since they're on C-Span, they're approximate.

You may also be able to watch it on this page of the C-Span website. It isn't up yet but that's where it will be when it is. Whether the video there will actually work is another question. I can only get about one out of every five videos on the C-Span site to play on my computer.

I just turned on the news and saw "Joe the Plumber" doing something that Sarah Palin apparently can't do. He was answering questions at a press conference.

The folks at Sony Masterworks have just issued a four-CD set called Stephen Sondheim: The Story So Far. You get a booklet and all sorts of neat historical stuff, and then the CDs contain a kind of biographical survey of Sondheim output, chronicled through tracks from his musicals, interviews and previously-unreleased music tracks. I haven't got mine yet but it sounds like one of those "if you're at all interested in Sondheim, you gotta buy it" deals. To order, click right here.

In the meantime, the Sony Masterworks folks are favoring us with a four-month series of weekly podcasts on Sondheim's life. Three installments are already up on the website with many more to come. Give a listen.

Too many obits…but we can't let the passing of the lovely 'n' talented Edie Adams go without mention. Edie was a part of a lot of things I loved, including the Broadway show Li'l Abner, the movie It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World and almost anything Ernie Kovacs ever did. And right after I typed that sentence, I remembered another of my favorite movies she was in — The Apartment.

All the details of her life and career are recounted in this obit but I wanted to underscore one thing that is mentioned only briefly. She was, as you know, married to Ernie Kovacs, who was killed in an auto accident in 1962. When that happened, Edie was left millions of dollars in debt, owing to Mr. Kovacs' tendency to spend every cent he earned and then some. Another person in Edie's place might have filed for bankruptcy but she wouldn't do that. Instead, she kicked her career into overdrive, digging up jobs left and right, and also going to accounting school so she could learn how to better handle the money she made. And in a few years, she actually managed to pay off the debts. It was an amazing bit of personal achievement.

Edie was funny and Edie was lovely. I interviewed her briefly when I wrote an article about the Li'l Abner Broadway musical — a show, oddly enough, where she hated her part, even though it won her a Tony. She was more willing to talk about Mad World and about Mr. Kovacs. Of the former, I remember her saying, "All those years with Ernie taught me how to hold my own in a roomful of comics." It sure did.

As I mentioned here, I got to meet and compliment composer Neal Hefti at a party a few months ago. For some reason, we got to discussing some of the bizarre lyrics that were written (but rarely heard) for his memorable tunes…especially the title songs from the movies, How to Murder Your Wife and The Odd Couple. In neither film did you hear the lyrics but the tunes sure stayed with you. That was also the case with one of his best-selling tunes, "Cute," and of course his most famous TV theme — the one from the Batman show with Adam West — was largely devoid of lyrics.

Hefti songs didn't need them. There was something about his melodies that said everything that needed to be said.

You can read the details of his life in this obituary and you can hear Lionel Hampton performing "Cute" in the video below. Frankly, I like it better without the lyrics.

Several folks wrote me that I needed to see the debate, rather than hear it on the radio as I did, to appreciate how poorly McCain did. I just watched most of the video on my TiVo and they're right. He looked crankier and more desperate…and even less convincing when he did his "I know how to fix this" lines. Obama looked cool and serious and for all the world like a guy who can afford to just sit on a big lead.

By the way: After the festivities, I listened to two local radio newsguys discussing what we'd just heard. One of them said, "You know, this may just be a lot simpler than people are making it out to be. This election may just be a matter of the public deciding that Republicans have gotten us into all the messes we're in so it's time to vote for whoever has the 'D' after his name, and there's nothing McCain can do about that." I'm not sure I don't agree with that.