The Kitten Problem – Part 1

I'm going to let you live vicariously through a dilemma with which I must deal in the next few days. As you may know, my backyard is a veritable zoo at times. I get raccoons. I get possums back there. I get a lot of cats. Given my location, the cats aren't surprising but the raccoons and possums are.

For close to a year, I've been feeding a feline who comes around every night — a cute little orange/white/grey creature who was so young when she put in her first appearance that she was referred to as The Kitten. I've never gotten around to giving her a better name so she's still The Kitten even though she is apparently on the verge of having some of her own.

This is the same animal who, last year, I accidentally locked in my garage for five days. You can read about that and see a photo of her in this posting. Despite repeated suggestions that I arrange to have her spayed, this was not done…and while I'm not 100% positive, she now looks like she's soon to be a mom.

I have a friend — a fine actor some of you may know of — who is a major saver and protector of cats and dogs. He's on the board of several organizations that deal with the problems, and folks there tell me he's donated staggering amounts of cash and time to saving animal lives. I won't mention his name because I don't want to be responsible for him being deluged with calls like the one I placed to him, asking what I should do about The Kitten. He said I had to get her spayed and that, depending on how far along she is, this may involve a kitty abortion. This made me uneasy. I'm pro-choice but it's not like she's going to be choosing.

My friend — who, let's remember, loves animals dearly — assured me it was the kindest possible gesture. "You wouldn't believe how many cats and dogs have to be destroyed every day because no one will adopt them," said he. No one will even adopt The Kitten. (I couldn't do right by her, especially since Carolyn is allergic to 'em.) Three or four more cats will just be three or four more scrounging through trash cans, begging at back doors, living under houses, etc. I trust my friend so I decided it had to be done.

He put me in touch with an organization called The Stray Cat Alliance and they, in turn, put me in touch with a veterinarian who is part of their program and who handles strays for a very modest fee. (I called the vet down the street from me. He wants about $390. With this volunteer vet, it'll be more like seventy bucks.) So the problem now is how to get The Kitten to him.

Yesterday, I bought a plastic pet transport at Petco for twenty bucks. It turns out though that the vet won't accept a feral cat in anything but a humane-style cat trap. I pointed out to his assistant that I've made friends with The Kitten. She lets me pet her and I could probably grab her up and cram her into the pet transport. No, the assistant said. It must be a trap of the approved variety. So I've just returned from a local pet food store where I rented a trap for ten bucks a day. (Total price, which they'll charge to my Visa card if I don't return the trap is eighty bucks. I'm already thinking that if this goes past four days, I may just buy the thing. There will be other strays.)

While I was there, I saw something that reassured me I was doing the right thing. It was Cat Adoption Day at the pet shop and there must have been fifty orphan cats there in cages, begging passers-by to take them home. It was very sad…and I especially felt bad for a woman there who was in charge of finding homes for these lovely animals. I talked with her a few moments and learned how she's always racing against time to get the cats adopted, and how it shatters her heart to think of how many she hasn't been able to save. When I told her what I was doing, she said, "Thank God…I wish more people would do this. They don't realize the problem they're creating by not getting their pets neutered."

So I'm home with the trap. The Kitten always comes around in the evening and lately — a tip-off that she's probably eating for more than one — in the morning, as well. I don't want to trap her tonight and make her suffer in the cage all night so I'm going to try it in the A.M. I'll report back here and let you know how things go.