Well, I think I can give up on Deal or No Deal again…and after last night's show, it wouldn't surprise me if much of America did, as well. As you may recall, they've never had a million dollar winner in this game, the whole point of which is to see if someone can win a million dollars. To coincide with sweeps, they launched the "Million Dollar Mission" during which more and more of those cute little briefcases contained the yearned-for amount…the idea being to weigh the odds to make a million buck win likely. Didn't happen, as we all knew going into last night's show. (How did we know it? Because if it had, the producers and network would have made darned sure we knew in advance so more folks would tune in to watch.) Even with half the cases on the board containing $1,000,000.00, the contestant wound up with less than half that.
Still, you could tell the producers thought it would all end with the Big Win. The show has gotten way too manipulative for its own good, trotting out deserving contestants and reminding us over and over how deserving they are, bringing on their friends and family members to say it every three minutes. They even had the prize models saying "You're my favorite contestant ever" and getting emotional about it. Last night's contestant — the one who was picked to play in a game calculated to make her a millionaire — needed the loot in order to have more children and to continue all her fine charity work, and you certainly wanted her to succeed. The producers sure expected it.
They started this running theme with The Banker (the show's unseen Bad Guy, who's somehow regarded as evil for offering players a guaranteed, often huge amount if they elect not to gamble) proclaiming that he was going to beat her and that he'd consider anything less than a million dollar win for her as a loss for her. The lady kept saying, "I always win," which was clearly untrue. A person who always wins would not be poor enough to be an appropriate contestant on Deal or No Deal. Anyway, it came down to this silly dramatic undercurrent: If she won the million, it would prove that she was, indeed, one who always wins. If she went home with anything less — say, a measly $800,000 — she was a loser. That was the premise the producers felt they had to lay in there to ratchet up the suspense…since it seemed so obvious going in that she'd win the mill.
Plus, they added this out of left field: Her husband was afraid of heights..so The Banker added a new, one-time rule to the game. Hubby was strapped onto a platform and incrementally raised into the air on wires. Each time she opened a case containing a million, thereby dropping the odds of her winning that amount, he'd be hoisted another level. Why? Just to add more drama to a show that seemed to have a foregone conclusion.
But at some point in the taping, the producers must have realized it wasn't going as expected; that they'd configured the game around an expected finale that might not be achieved. With no explanation, they called off the stunt with the husband and started back-pedalling on this lame insistence that she was a loser if she didn't head homeward with all the marbles. And indeed, it finally came down to this: She had two cases left. One contained a million smackers. The other held $200. There was an offer on the table of a little less than half a million.
Therein lies the problem with this game. To be interesting, it has to be played by contestants who are somewhat needy and for whom a million dollar win is life-changing, allowing them to buy that new house they need, send their kids to college, help out those less fortunate than even themselves, etc. That kind of person should not and (if they have a lick of sense) will not turn down half a million on a 50-50 chance of either winning twice that amount or going home with bupkiss. You'd hate them if they did. You'd hate them and you'd hate the show and you'd even hate yourself for watching the show for an entire hour, rooting for that person. Even if they won, the player would have won after being foolish and reckless with their family's future.
The lady last night didn't, of course, do that. She went home with a nice piece of change. It turned out she did have the million dollar amount in her case so even though she won big, the conventions of the show treated her as a bit of a loser. I sure felt like one for investing any of my time in the whole enterprise. Even recording the show on TiVo and fast-forwarding through all the padding, I still felt like I'd listened to a long, long joke without a punchline…and not because the lady didn't win a million dollars. But because of all the contrived dramatics it took to get there.