Monthly Archives: January 2008

Somewhere, about a third of the way down on this page, you will find a very wise and perceptive review of my impending (like, already at the printers) book on Jack Kirby. And should you be moved to order this book, you can do so on this page.

Here are some observations and thoughts from my trip to Las Vegas…

As always, one of the best shows in town is just talking with your cabbie. They're all great. As noted in this article, I used to ask every taxi driver I had to tell me his Redd Foxx story. Back in the eighties, every cab driver had a Redd Foxx story, some of them even tellable in mixed company. Alas, back in the nineties I had to give up that line of inquiry. Too many "Who's Redd Foxx?"es in reply. My favored question now is what convention that comes to town brings the best tippers and which one brings the worst? Consensus reply: The World of Concrete — a construction supplies convention that I believe is in Vegas this week — is hands down the best. No one could explain why but apparently selling cement makes a man party hearty and tip big. The worst? Jewelers.

I rode the Vegas Monorail because…well, maybe because it may not be there much longer. The 3.9 mile line was opened in 2004 by taking a free train that used to run just between Bally's and the MGM Grand and expanding it. It's no longer free and it now reaches all the way to the Sahara, raising a question similar to the old "What if they gave a war and nobody came?" This one is "What if they built a monorail and nobody rode it?" The route is of so little benefit to most folks that the project has been losing a small fortune every week since it opened. Expansion plans, some of which have sounded like they might make the system more useful, get announced but do not happen. It seemed like a pleasant ride to me but it didn't take me anywhere I really wanted to go. I rode it just to ride it. I monorailed from Bally's to the Sahara, then caught a cab at the Sahara to take me to my hotel. My hotel, like most, is nowhere near anywhere the monorail goes.

This was my first Vegas trip since Gastric Bypass Surgery and eating was a little odd. Everything available to me was either way too much food or not enough. Friday night, I went to a place that serves a prime rib dinner with soup, rolls, baked potato, corn and a nice-sized piece of meat for $6.99. By the time I'd finished the soup, I barely had room for the meat so I left about two-thirds of it and most of the tater. With no refrigerator in my hotel room, there didn't seem to be anything else I could do. Saturday, I went to a $7.77 buffet and barely consumed $2.22 worth. The lady who clears the dishes looked at mine, then said in partial English and with an uncanny guess at my heritage, "Jew no like our food?"

So what's the deal with all the Michael Jackson records? As you roam Vegas, you always hear popular records of the seventies and eighties. It's the old Wayne Newton theory: "People are most comfortable when they're hearing a song they know well." (Wayne sings almost nothing in his show that most of the audience won't recognize.) Okay, so that's the premise but I still want to know: What's the deal with all the Michael Jackson records? Whoever's programming the Muzak must really love The King of Pop. Does hearing "Billie Jean," as I must have at least five times in four days, make people more prone to gamble? Or is this just to scare underage kids out of the casino?

Before Spamalot, I wandered around the Wynn, which wasn't yet open for business the last time I was in Las Vegas. Lovely hotel. Confusing layout. Expensive, pretentious stores. I was in the gift shop buying a souvenir for my mother when a couple came in looking for a candy bar. The man just wanted a Hershey's Anything or a bag of M's or a Snickers…but everything on the candy rack had a French name and a six dollar price tag. I heard his wife say to him, "Just ask them if they have Milky Ways somewhere." And then I heard the man reply, "No, I'd be embarrassed" and he dragged her on outta there.

Shortly after, still roaming the Wynn, I paused to watch a bit of Blackjack, picking a table at random. A lady playing by herself had about two thousand dollars in chips out and the dealer dealt her a soft 15. The dealer had a three showing. The lady scratched her head and squirmed and pondered and finally she turned to me and asked, "How should I play this?" Hey, lady: If you're playing two thousand a hand, you should know how to play it. The answer was to hit but I decided not to get involved. So she decided to stand on it and she won. If she'd hit, she would have lost. Didn't even thank for me for not telling her the right thing to do.

As I think I've mentioned here, ticket prices for Vegas shows have soared. It's not inflation, or at least not primarily inflation. It's that an awful lot of shows have learned that you can raise your prices these days without losing enough customers that your grosses drop. So they raise their prices. But at the same time, a "low end" play has emerged. There are a few booths around the city that sell tickets, like the TKTS operation on Broadway, for half price. A few are reduced by lesser amounts but about two thirds of the shows in Vegas are available at significant discounts if you're prepared to go to one of these booths. You have to go after 11 AM for shows that night and you may not get your first choice…but for example, this morning they had Penn & Teller, David Copperfield, a couple of the Cirque du Soleil shows and The Producers for 25%-50% off. Worth checking out if you're in town. Here's a link.

Lastly, this morning I browsed a few of the downtown souvenir shops and was greatly disappointed that the quality of Vegas souvenir items has risen slightly. If it had risen a lot, that would be great because some of those products would now be good enough to purchase and display proudly. It used to be that they were all so schlocky that you could buy a plastic Elvis Dog Toy or a cheesy Vegas Showgirl t-shirt with fake breasts and give it as a gag or display it for friends to mock. Now, the level falls uncomfortably between those extremes: Nothing was good enough to buy, nothing was bad enough to laugh at. I'll bet sales are down because of it. They really need to work at improving their product…or just undoing the recent improvements.

This is me in a cab on my way home from the airport. The flight landed right on time and amazingly, my suitcase was on it. Southwest, you have partially redeemed yourself. I may use that travel voucher yet.

Let the record show that at 12:34 PM, I took what may have been a last look at my suitcase, wished it Godspeed and handed it over to a skycap for Southwest Airlines. With the slight voice tremor of a parent surrendering a child for adoption, I told him to "Take good care of it, please" and handed him a tip. Then without looking back, I headed bravely for the C-Gates.

And note that I made sure to tip the guy. If my suitcase doesn't make it to Los Angeles, I'm going to find that skycap and get my dime back.

My flight takes off at (allegedly) 2:20 and gets in at 3:25. You might want to check back later and see what time, if any, my bag arrives. I'm sure you have nothing better to do today.

I'm still in Vegas but unlike what happens in Vegas, I'm not going to stay in Vegas. Later today, I'm going to give Southwest Airlines yet another chance to lose my luggage.

Last night, I was wandering through a downtown casino, ably resisting the urge to resume a Blackjack habit I gave up years ago. (Quit while I was ahead and am determined to stay that way the rest of my life.) This was about 2 AM and I strolled near the Sports Book, where ordinarily one sees banks of TV monitors showing football games, horse races, jai alai tournaments from South America, stuff like that. The desk was closed but for some reason, every screen in the place was on and tuned to a replay of the Republican Debate.

About eight people were sitting there, not wagering. Two were asleep. One was eating a McDonald's McSomething. One was yelling at someone on a cell phone. (It's against the law to use a cell phone in a Sports Book area but maybe that's only when it's open for betting.) One was reading and the other three were watching the debate with minimal interest. A cocktail waitress who could have stunt-doubled Rhea Pearlman asked me if I wanted something. Fred Thompson was on the screen so I said, "Is there still time to get a bet down on him?"

She said, "To be President? Don't waste your money, hon. If it were me, I'd bet against all those guys. And all those damn Democrats, too."

Smartest thing I've heard about this election so far.

According to our indisputably accurate poll, 3.6% of you (currently) thought Skidoo was a fine motion picture and 20.9% found it so bizarre as to be enjoyable. If you haven't voted yet, there's still time.

In the meantime, here's about as strong a defense of it as you're likely to find.

Last Thanksgiving, I had a very good time watching the National Touring Company of Spamalot at a theater in Columbus, Ohio. In fact, looking back at what I posted that evening, I don't think I was quite lavish enough with the praise, both for that troupe and for the show itself, cleverly (at times, brilliantly) adapted by Eric Idle and John DuPrez from You-Know-What. The show was funny from start to end and there was that wonderful energy you sometimes get in the theater when the whole audience is loving what's on the stage and laughing not only non-stop but in unison.

Last evening, I went to see the Las Vegas production of Spamalot, which is at the new Wynn hotel in its Grail Theater, built (well, extensively refurbished) especially for this show. If I'd seen this production and not the other, I'd be sitting here now writing a blog post about the colossal disappointment that is Spamalot; of how Idle and DuPrez only managed to turn one of the funniest movies ever done into a mildly, intermittently entertaining musical. Obviously, that's not the case. It was hilarious in Columbus, Ohio and I'll bet it's wonderful in New York. So why was it so diminished here?

It wasn't because the show's been trimmed a bit. One song — "All for One" — is out, as is most of "Run Away" and a few choruses of others. The whole back-and-forth with the guards guarding Herbert is cut and the Knights Who Say "Ni" had their part reduced, which must have pissed them off. A few scenes have been reordered, and some lines and lyrics have been changed, including all the references to Act One and Act Two, since they also removed the Intermission. But I didn't particularly mind any of the omissions and one — a big trim in "All Alone" — actually made the song funnier.

Some of what went wrong was that theater. It's cold and dank and those of us with mezzanine seats were viewing the action as if from one of those helicopter rides over the Strip. But a greater problem was the production, itself. I'd say about half the cast was fine…as good as the folks I saw in Ohio, one or two maybe even better. But the other half sure wasn't. The show is larger than life so the actors have to be, and some of them just lacked the personality and flair, which slowed the whole momentum and, I suspect, handicapped the strong performers. In one scene, I thought to myself, "This is what Spamalot will be like when they release the rights to perform it at the Community College level." (Seinfeld star John O'Hurley opened the production here and that's him in the photo above playing King Arthur. He's not in the show these days, though I heard a Wynn employee tell someone that they'd heard he's coming back.)

The other problem, I'm almost embarrassed to suggest, was the audience. They didn't seem very into it even though they seemed to be familiar with Python and the movie. In Columbus, there was a huge roar of recognition when The Knights Who Say "Ni" or the French Taunter or the Black Knight appeared. Here…nothing. Or at best, a slight giggle as if to say, "Oh, this part." There was applause and a bit of cheering at the end but nothing like I witnessed in Ohio.

I've written here in the past about attempts that have been made to mount full Broadway imports (or even original musicals) in Las Vegas. They haven't had too good a track record and I've suggested, first of all, that some of the wrong shows have been brought in — like Avenue Q, which flopped in (I think) the same showroom that Spamalot now occupies. I still think Avenue Q didn't belong in Vegas and certainly not in an auditorium that size. I've also suggested that the trimming which is usually done has hurt some of these shows.

Last time I discussed this, someone — I'm outta town and laptopping it so I don't have the message here — wrote to suggest that I was overlooking the biggest problem. Vegas, he said, is just not a theater town. There are too many other things to do, and good theatergoing requires the commitment of an evening in both time and attention. You can't just squeeze a play in among the eighteen other activities you want to accomplish before it's time to leave. I didn't think there was anything to that when I read his message…but now I'm not sure.

I still recommend you see Spamalot. Just don't see it in Vegas.

Still, the trip wasn't a total loss. I had ten minutes to kill before it was time to truck into the theater so I sat down at a Video Poker machine — first time I've played one for money in…must be fifteen, eighteen years. I resolved not to lose more than ten bucks and third hand in, I hit a straight flush…and went into Spamalot somewhat happier than I was on the way out.

The late Del Close was one of the giants of improvisational comedy and a kind of theater (and thinking) that are all too rare in the world today. Recently, he was one of four inductees into the Hall of Fame for alumni of Manhattan High School. This article makes a few factual errors but is worth a peek. There's a reference in there, by the way, to another inductee named Inger Stensland. Ms. Stensland later became quite well known under her professional name of Inger Stevens.

And what you really might enjoy watching — and I'm afraid the audio isn't very good at it, nor is the picture — is the video on this page of Bill Murray, speaking at the induction ceremony…which, to give it the seriousness it so richly deserves, took place at half-time of a basketball game. Thanks to Kim "Howard" Johnson for the links.

The L.A. Times has a nice obit up for Bill Idelson. And no, I haven't heard where and when the memorial service will be.

The big news on the strike front this weekend seems to be that the WGA will be signing one of those interim agreements with United Artists, an independent movie producer which has been re-formed with the clout of Tom Cruise as its primary asset. That will put a few writers back to work but the larger significance is that it's another gain in the p.r. battle. It shows the Guild is ready to make a deal and that an important producer has no trouble accepting the terms that the AMPTP finds so unthinkable. That was the big plus of the Letterman deal.

Many phone calls are probably occurring even as you read this, with AMPTP bigwigs applying pressure on other independents not to follow suit. They will undoubtedly succeed in many cases, and it's stunning that they didn't stop Cruise's company. As Larry Gelbart once said, "An independent producer is someone who's dependent on everyone." You can fund your own movies in this town, especially if you're Tom Cruise and investors will line up to thrust cash upon you. Getting those films distributed properly is another matter, and that's when you often must rely on the kindness not of strangers but of majors. If I had a well-financed independent film company, I'd probably be getting a call or two from the top guys at the Big Studios saying, "You're not going to sign that WGA contract, right?" And I'd probably be replying with some less obvious version of "Well, what are you going to do for me if I don't?" Or maybe, nervously, "What are you going to do to me if I do?"

But others will follow…how many, we don't know. Pressure is building against the AMPTP in other ways, as well. The Golden Globe Awards have never been so important in this industry as they are when it looks like they're not going to happen. To the studios, the show represents a means of promoting product and they don't like the idea of that being denied to them. More significantly, they don't like the idea of the unions banding together and being effectual, and the Golden Globes are being scuttled by a joint action of the WGA and the Screen Actors Guild.

One of the many reasons I don't think the Writers Strike will last six more months is that allowing that would effectively merge our strike with SAG's contract negotiation, not only now but in future years if both contracts wind up being renewed at the same time. Here's the worst possible nightmare for whoever will be in Nick Counter's place three years from now: It's July of 2011 and the contracts for the Writers Guild, the Screen Actors Guild and the Directors Guild are all expiring simultaneously. If ever all of labor in Hollywood could link arms and shut the business down until there are major increases, that would be the time. Even now, with SAG's deal expiring seven months after ours, the proximity is a problem for the studios, especially since the actors' demands so closely mirror the ones we have and which the AMPTP is refusing to discuss. From the producer point-of-view, driving WGA and SAG even closer together is whatever the opposite is of a "divide and conquer" strategy. ("Unite and surrender?")

The fiasco of the Golden Globe Awards — nominees and presenters refusing to appear — is reminding the producers that they may own the building but if they don't have us, all they have is a worthless building. The AMPTP has done a lot of things that in hindsight do not seem to have been in their own best interests…but here they're looking at the pilot for a combined WGA-SAG strike. You've gotta think they won't let this one go to series.

In late night news: Leno and the WGA are sparring over what Jay can and cannot do on the air. I caught a little of his monologue on Friday night and it sure sounded written…and not entirely by him. I like Jay as a performer and I've long had a high opinion of him as a decent, ethical guy. But the rules say he can't employ writers and they may say — I'm still a bit fuzzy on this — that he can't even write for himself. I'll be most disappointed if when all is said and done, the conclusion is that Leno broke the rules.

One kinda-clever thing he has done: This week, he and Jimmy Kimmel will exchange guest appearances…two guys in the same, writerless, semi-guestless boat bailing out one another. That's a smart/generous move on Jay's part since it'll do more for Kimmel than vice-versa. It's also kinda surprising since Mr. Kimmel has made no secret of his intense dislike of Mr. Leno. War creates the oddest of alliances.

Lastly: I'm going to be back on the picket line next week at some point. I think we are picketing CBS Television City after all, but we're ending each day's hiking at 1 PM. I'm guessing that's our way of picketing the soap operas and other shows that tape in the morning but not picketing Craig Ferguson, who tapes much later in the day.