Someone posted this on YouTube. It's a promo for a 1980 production of Oliver! that played the Aquarius Theater in Hollywood. Shani Wallis was playing Nancy, Dick Shawn was playing Fagin, Tessie O'Shea was playing Mrs. Corney and Stubby Kaye was playing Mr. Bumble. I remember when it opened and got pretty good reviews. That, plus the fact that I always liked the show, Dick Shawn and Stubby Kaye caused me to want to see it. At the time, I was working for Sid and Marty Krofft and our offices were at KTLA Studios, just a few blocks from the Aquarius.
So one day on my lunch hour, I walked down Sunset to buy tickets. At the box office, the lady looked surprised. It was like, "Really? You want to buy tickets?" I convinced her I did and she sold me a pair with an unmissible sense of skepticism. Her attitude made me suspicious and so did the seats I got: Third row center.
I walked back to the office and happened to mention to Sid Krofft that I'd just bought tickets to the production of Oliver! down at the Aquarius. Sid said, "I heard that was closing." I told him no, I'd just bought tickets for the following Saturday night.
Then I walked down to the stage where the dancers were rehearsing a number for the show we were about to tape. I invited one I knew to go with me to see Oliver! and she immediately said, "It's closing." I said, "No, it isn't." She said, "Yes, it is. My roommate's brother is in it. I just called her about something and she told me."
I went back to my office, phoned the Aquarius box office and got, I think, the same lady who'd sold me the tickets an hour earlier. "Is the show closing?" I asked her. She said no. I asked her if she was sure. She said, "Wait a second…I'll check." She put me on hold for about four minutes, then came back on the line and told me the show was closing. This was on a day when there was no performance scheduled and she said they weren't sure at the theater if there would even be another one but they'd been told to stop selling tickets and start issuing refunds.
I walked back to the Aquarius and she gave me my money back and an apology. She said, "We're always the last ones to know." Another lady in the box office chimed in, "I knew. We've only sold twenty-three tickets for tomorrow night and there are twenty-five people in the show." That was my introduction to an old show business maxim that I made up as I walked back to the office that day: When you have more bodies on the stage than you have in the audience, you're in trouble.
Here's the ad for the show I didn't see…
