Today's Bitch 'n' Moan™ is software you need that — automatically and without so much as an "If you don't mind…" — installs software you don't want. We all need Adobe Reader on our little computers to read all those PDF files that people send us or which we encounter on Ye Olde Internet. We want to upgrade to the latest Adobe Reader, which is version 8, because as we all know in this world, if you don't have the current version of something, you might as well be Fred Friggin' Flintstone, using a pointy-billed bird to play your phonograph records.
So we need Adobe Reader 8. What we don't need — or at least what I don't need — is something called Adobe Photoshop Album, which is now the eighty-third piece of software this year that has forced its way onto my harddisk and demanded that I let it index all the photos on my computer and build me a library. Everyone wants to build me a library. I'm not sure anyone will ever build George W. Bush a library. That would be contingent on the guy ever reading a book. But half the software made on this planet wants to build me a library.
Thank you, Adobe Photoshop Album, but I don't need you to build me a library of my photos. I have a library of my photos. I didn't install you on my computer, either. You came magically when I upgraded to Adobe Reader 8 and then you were rude enough to install a couple of entries in my start-up group so that whenever I turn on my computer, you're loaded and there in my tray where I don't want you. This is all awfully presumptious of you, which is why I just took you out and uninstalled you and next time, maybe you'll wait for a damn invitation before you move in and set yourself up on my Seagate.
This concludes today's edition of Bitch 'n' Moan™. Bitch 'n' Moan™ is brought to you by the makers of Midol for Men — the only medicine that can alleviate cramping, bloating and that general feeling of crabiness that males get when they have their periods.