In the early seventies, I worked briefly for a firm that published teen and gossip magazines. I never worked on the gossip ones but I knew the editor. She used to sit in her office, look over photos of all the people who were currently considered gossip-worthy and try to imagine the perfect headline story. This had nothing to do with reality. It was just fantasizing: What could possibly happen to one of these people that I could put on my cover and sell a lot of magazines?
Sometimes, she'd dream up a headline and assign it to a writer. She'd call someone in and say, "The title's going to be 'The secret love nest of Elizabeth Taylor and John Lennon!' Go write me a story to go with it." And then the writer would have to figure out some way to justify the headline. Sometimes, they could do it via half-truths…like writing about some great hotel that both Liz and John had visited at separate times. Sometimes, they'd just plain lie, citing spurious anonymous "close friends of the couple" about the torrid Taylor/Lennon affair. But either way, it started with this editor asking herself what could happen that would sell a lot of magazines to those who loved gossip. I remember her saying that every now and then, she'd imagine up a headline and — well, whadda ya know? — it would turn out to be true.
Paris Hilton going to jail. That's the kind of thing she'd think of. And to make the story even better, Ms. Hilton would get sprung after a few days due to some secret, life-threatening medical condition…and then she'd be dragged, kicking and screaming, back to the pokey.
Yeah, that's just the kind of thing this editor would think of, were she still at it. It's just too perfect.
Meanwhile, Channel Four here in Los Angeles broke into scheduled programming to cover a press conference being held by a senior official in the Sheriff's Department about Ms. Hilton's back-behind-bars drama today. They preempted Martha Stewart's show for this, which was only fitting. The last time Channel Four did this was when Martha, another much-despised "rich bitch," was convicted. They wouldn't do that to bring us the capture of Osama Bin Laden…unless, of course, it was at the end of a high-speed chase.