Nothing personal — you may be very cute, especially for a person who spends as much time on the Internet as you do — but baby pandas are cuter than you are. That's because baby pandas are cuter than anyone or anything. They're even cuter than me and, brother, you have to be pretty damn good to outcute me.
(I just had a funny idea that I'm not going to do. I was going to go to Wikipedia and if there isn't a page on "cute," I was going to start one. And then since anyone can post anything on Wikipedia, I was going to put a photo of me on it and then come back here and write something about how I'm so cute that if you look up "cute" on the Internet — and here, I would have provided the link — you see my picture. But I can't figure out how to post on Wikipedia and anyway, they'd just take it down in a day or so because they've never seen me and have no way of knowing how utterly factual and verifiable my cuteness is. It was a good idea, though.)
So where as I? Oh, yes. Baby pandas are appalling cute and that's all there is to it. I'm going to post more pictures of them here in the coming days. A few years ago, I discovered that whenever I posted a photo of Julie Newmar, I got a lot of donations from folks who clicked on links like the one below. Let's see if you people are more susceptible to baby pandas or if I'm going to have to resort to obvious sexual imagery and bring back Julie.
