Monthly Archives: December 2005

Birthday greetings to Stan Lee..whose life I saved two weeks ago — on December 13th, to be exact — when I didn't run over him on Roxbury Drive in Beverly Hills.

That's right, Stan. You were wearing an orange sweater, walking along with some guy in a suit. The signal at the corner was flashing DON'T WALK but you stepped off the curb anyway and didn't even notice as a dark green Lexus screeched to a halt. That was me driving. (Can you imagine the headlines? "Jack Kirby's former assistant runs over Stan Lee." Or maybe "Stan Lee fatally injured by former Vice-President of Stan Lee Media." Oh. my God.)

This would have been a double tragedy. I'd be in jail and we'd have lost a very witty, charming giant in the field of comic books and fantasy…a man who is much admired and loved.

So happy birthday, Stan. I'm so glad I didn't kill you.

Monday evenings in 1932 and 1933, an NBC radio program called Five Star Theater presented episodes of a comedy series called Flywheel, Shyster and Flywheel starring Groucho and Chico Marx. When I first became involved in Marx Brothers fandom and history, all traces of these shows had disappeared off the face of the planet but for a few reviews and magazine articles about them. One Marxist scholar I knew spent several fruitless months trying to track down what he believed might be the only extant recording of an episode. When he finally got his mitts on it, the audio was about as clear as that 18-and-a-half minutes on the Nixon tapes.

But miracles sometimes happen. In 1988, someone found almost all of the scripts in The Library of Congress. They were published in book form and at least two separate groups recorded new re-creations. And then eight years after that, someone found a few fragments of actual Flywheel audio plus one complete episode. The show is not great but hey, it's Groucho and Chico. How often do you get to hear new (to you) 1933 Groucho and Chico banter?

And yes, we have a link for you…but it's BBC Radio so you have to hurry. Their audio links don't stick around for long. It's a half-hour special that runs about half an hour and includes the surviving episode plus an interview with Nat Perrin, who was one of the writers. Go for it. And thank Stu West, a reader of this site, for letting me know about it so I could let you know.

A couple of folks have written me that they think Steve Chapman would more properly be described as a Libertarian rather than as a Conservative. Okay.

Steve Chapman is another one of those Conservatives who is not rushing to defend Bush in the spying controversy.

It apparently hasn't hit the wire services yet but character actor Roy Stuart passed away on Christmas Day at the age of 70. Stuart was one of those guys who popped up at one time or another on every TV show shot in Hollywood beginning around 1964. He usually played some nervous clerk or official. The photo above at left is from one of the few recurring roles he had — that of Corporal Boyle on Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C., the soldier who was always trying to talk sense between Sgt. Carter and Private Pyle. Stuart's rubbery face also turned up in hundreds of commercials over the years. He was one of those actors who made a decent living in Hollywood but every day, someone would stop him in a public place and say, "I think I know you from somewhere." You may be looking at the above photos right now and going, "Oh, yeah…that guy."

I have a special affection for Mr. Stuart's skills as an actor. Around 1967, I saw The Odd Couple for the first time. It was at a production in the Ivar Theater in Hollywood, he was playing Felix and Jesse White was playing Oscar. If I had to list the ten evenings in my life when I laughed the most, that would certainly be among them. It was truly a wonderful production and Stuart was very proud of it. Over the years, I ran into him at parties and a few times at the Hollywood Collector Shows. Every time, I reminded him I'd seen him in the role and every time, he'd turn to someone else, point to me and say, "He saw me do The Odd Couple." He did a lot of stage work in L.A., mostly with the Theatre West group on Cahuenga, and I think I saw him there in several other plays. But he will always be my first Felix Unger…and trust me. He was as good as Lemmon or Randall or any of them.

Each year around Christmas, BBC Radio 3 broadcasts a couple of concerts that should be of interest to Broadway fans. This morning/last night, they had a Sondheim celebration, including a concert-style performance of Company, recorded at Hackney Empire in honor of his 75th birthday. Tonight/tomorrow, there's a Frank Loesser tribute which I believe includes a rendition of How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying.

Now then: How can you listen to these? They were done for a show called Performance on 3 and this link, I believe, loads a Real Player version of the latest show. At the moment, that's the Sondheim broadcast. Starting some time tomorrow, that will probably be the Loesser salute. So that's one way if you act fast. If that doesn't work, look for a link on this page.

The Loesser show runs tomorrow at 19:30 U.K. time, which is 11:30 AM for those of us on the West Coast of the U.S. If you go to the BBC 3 Radio page at that time, you can listen live to it. So that's another.

In a day or so, they may have archive links up so you can listen at a more convenient time. And then again, they may not. If they do, I'll post them here.

A number of folks who know math better than I do sent me breakdowns on the odds involved in playing Deal or No Deal. They were all figuring slightly different scenarios and I don't understand any of them. However, this piece over on Wikipedia seems to know what it's talking about with regard to the odds. Here are some comments from e-mails I received. This first one is from David Oakes…

…for those of you who like to play along at home, calculating the likely value of the pot at any given time is pretty easy. Since the prizes are distributed randomly, simply add up the total money still in play, and divide by the remaining number of boxes. So at the very beginning, the game is worth $3,418,416.01/26. (If every contestant just took one box and stuck with it, on average they would go home with $131,477.54. Nothing to sneeze at, but not the "life changing money" of high ratings.) Coming down to 5 boxes containing 1,000,000, 0.01, 300, 1,000, and 750,000, the "expected value" of the prize is a little over $350,360. It would be interesting to compare these averages with the deals offered, to see how much the producers are willing to pay for ratings…

And this one is from Bob Heer…

Interestingly, if a player goes straight to the final step each time, one of the two remaining cases will be the million 1 in every 13 games, and probably getting an offer of over 500K, and better than 1 in 5 of having at least one 500K+ case (offer probably at least 250K, which I think is a lot more than anyone got in the first week). Not that jumping straight to the end blindly is a good strategy, since that also gives good odds of two small choices in the end (odds make for a good aggregate strategy, if you get to play an effectively infinite number of times, not if you only have one shot).

And Tom Galloway figures there's a 1 in 2600 chance of having three cases left and all being the top three money amounts. I think the key here though is that each contestant only has the one chance to play the game. The odds figured over multiple games don't become as controlling of what any individual might do when it comes down to those final decisions. I would think, above and beyond the cash itself, most would feel a powerful desire to not go home with the embarrassment of having turned down $250,000 to go for some higher amount, only to leave with five dollars. Even if the gamble seemed statistically logical, you'd still be the person who had a free quarter-million dollars in hand and threw it all away on national television because he/she wanted more. In other words, the tiny and large cash awards probably become significant in more than a strictly mathematical consideration.

One other thought occurred to me about the program…and it has to do with how the producers select contestants. That's key to most game shows — that they pick people who will be enthusiastic about winning but not to the extent of seeming out of control or hysterical. As a producer, you want players of whom America will say, "Oh, I want to see that person win." On this one, you also want people who really believe in luck, which I don't. If I went on Deal or No Deal, I'd probably pick Case #1 as my case and then as I had to open other cases, I'd just go in numerical order: 2, 3, 4, 5, etc. There's just as much chance of winning if you do that as if you start with your daughter's birthday and then pick her age and then pick the day of the month you met your significant other and so on. But picking my way would make it feel like the outcome was pre-determined (which to some extent it is) and that we're just going through the motion of opening cases and waiting for the banker offer to seem acceptable. That's pretty much all the game is but because the player seems to have a series of tough decisions to make along the way in choosing cases to open, it feels more like he or she is controlling what numbers are revealed. So we sit at home and think, "Oh, no! Don't pick 23. That's a bad number! Pick 6 instead!" Like that matters.

It really doesn't…but it feels like it does. Which is why it's all the more amazing to me that I got hooked on this silly little show and look forward to its return.

Today's New York Times magazine section has a couple of nice articles about folks who passed away in 2005. Here's one on Thurl Ravenscroft, here's a piece on Sandra Dee and here's a remembrance of comedian Gene Baylos.

A couple of folks have e-mailed to ask where they can find my Christmas story of the time I didn't meet my favorite singer, Mel Tormé. It's right where it's always been.

Frank Rich comes through with a timely column about the nonsense of "the war on Christmas."

In lieu of buying any of you gifts, here's a seasonal version of the best game around that doesn't involve Howie Mandel and 26 models. Yes, it's the Holiday Edition of There's No Such Website! Pick the webpage we made up and don't try to exchange it for something you want more.

• Ugly Christmas Lights – Think every home looks good decorated for the holidays? Some people don't. Here's a collection of photos of homes calculated to scare Kris Kringle away.
• A Jimmy Dean Christmas – And your tree will look yummy when you do like these folks and decorate it with ornaments made of pure pork sausage.
• Christmas Letters to Christopher Walken – Have you written your annual Christmas letter to Christopher Walken? If so, you may find it on this site.
• Scared of Santa – Few things in childhood are as traumatic as being taken to sit on the lap of a bearded stranger. Here's a gallery of small children and how much they didn't like it.
• Chrismahanukwanzakah – Let's get rid of different seasonal holidays and just merge them all together into one hard-to-pronounce one.

Merry Whatever you celebrate. And don't let anyone tell you there's a "war" on Christmas. When someone wishes you Happy Holidays, that's either shorthand for the whole season or an attempt to be inclusive. Interpreting it as some sort of plot against anyone's faith is…well, I'm not sure what it is. But this sure ain't the right time of year for it.

Our friends over at TV Shows on DVD are announcing (on this page) that we are soon to see an American DVD release of Dungeons & Dragons, a Saturday morning cartoon show that I developed back in 1983. As far as I know, this is true…although I do not know this because anyone involved with the release has called me.

One brief correction to their report: The show was on CBS, not ABC. And I hope when anyone talks about the writers involved in the show, they'll mention Dennis Marks, who created it, and Hank Saroyan, who story-edited and voice-directed and had so much to do with whatever that was any good that got on the air.

I'm pleased there will finally be a "real" release of the series because I've gotten tired of seeing bootlegs all over the place…including the set that was advertised as being "prepared to the highest, most exacting standards" but which has my name on the box as "Mike Evanier." People are always e-mailing me, asking where they can get the complete collection on video and I'm never sure what to tell them. The bootlegs violate copyright and don't pay royalties to anyone who did the show under a royalty deal…which I think includes me.

At one point, I sent an e-mail to someone who had produced a set and was brazenly selling them online. I wrote — politely, I thought — that since he was depriving me of income, perhaps he'd like to send me a couple of DVDs, gratis, especially since his ad/webpage quoted large chunks of this article I wrote without my permission. The fellow wrote back to inform me that since he didn't hire me, he had no "legal or moral obligation" and that if I continued to harass him — as I apparently did by sending one message — he would have me prosecuted as an Internet stalker. It was kind of like, "If you interfere with my right to rob you, I'm going to call the police!"

Anyway, it was a fun show and I'm looking forward to it coming out on DVD. As soon as I find out which company is issuing it, I'll post that info here. I'll also contact them and see if I can get a couple of free copies. I hope they don't try to have me arrested.

P.S. If you're thinking of writing me to ask about the rumor that there was a "last" episode produced in which the kids in the show got home, read this first. Then don't ask.

TV writer-producer Dave Schwartz, who is one of at least three David Schwartzes I know, writes about the Christmas animation I linked to earlier this morning — the one with Santa and three reindeer warbling a mellow version of "White Christmas." The Dave Schwartz in question reminds me to mention that the record involved was done in 1954 by Clyde McPhatter and the Drifters. McPhatter, sez Dave, is the high voice and the bass singer is a man named Bill Pinkney who, it turns out, is now the sole (soul?) survivor of the original Drifters. He recently turned eighty and is still performing. You can read all about him at this website and even see another video presentation done to the Xmas recording.

Thanks to this particular Dave Schwartz for the reminder…and Happy Holidays to all the David Schwartzes I've ever met.

I received e-mail from Yoi Tanabe, who is one of the models on Deal or No Deal. I think she was the one wearing the magenta dress on the show tonight.

Anyway, she says she had a great time doing the show, that they treat all the ladies very well, and that she hopes there will be more episodes. And Yoi's about to get her wish. As predicted here a few days ago, NBC has ordered more. In fact, they ordered more as soon as they saw the Wednesday ratings…though there's no word yet on how many or when they'll begin airing.

If you missed the show this week and want to see what got me hooked, CNBC is rerunning episodes on Monday and Tuesday next week. And if you want to look for Yoi, she's the one holding the big case with the number "20" on it.

The show more or less held my interest through Friday, which I wasn't expecting. The last two nights weren't as interesting as the first three but I think that's because the way the game goes, sometimes it's just not as interesting as other times.

It's obvious that the way the game plays out, it will be very rare for any contestant to hold out for the full million…or even for whatever case they choose at the outset. I think only one player this week didn't take a buy-out and in that case, the top dollar amounts were long since out of play. Even if you pick the case with the million clams in it, you get down to the moment when you either have that or a lesser amount, which is probably quite a bit lesser, and you're being offered a figure in-between as a sure thing. Suppose it's either $100 or $1,000,000 and the Banker is waving a little more than half a million, which is I guess what the offer would be. How many people would pass that up and risk going home with almost bupkis? As Howie Mandel mentioned a few times this week, this is "life-changing money." You'd probably hold out for the possible million if the other amounts remaining on the board were very high ones…which gets me to wondering what the odds would be that you'd get down to the last four or five and they'd all be six-figure amounts. (Paging Tom Galloway…)

One other thing I like about the show is that it's a real game. As I understand it, the numbers are placed into the cases by a third party and no one knows what's where. Howie doesn't know and the models don't know…but most and best of all, the producers don't know. Whoever is figuring out what to offer the contestant is, in effect, playing against them and is just as much in the dark. I'm assuming this person has a computer that totals the remaining dollar amounts and calculates an average…but then there's some leeway to go over or under a bit, depending on how they read the contestant. They did a good job this week of coming up with numbers that kept things interesting.

What would I change about the show? Less editing and less dubbed-in-later dialogue. I assume that as Howie gets more familiar with the dynamics, he'll be saying all those things live on the set and it won't be necessary to loop them in later. I'd speed up the early rounds a bit. Just as it's highly unlikely anyone will hold out for the full million, it's highly unlikely anyone will take one of the first three or four banker offers. I'd let Howie talk more with the contestants about what they'd do with the money and how it feels to be taking what is probably the biggest gamble any of them will ever take in their lives. I'd get rid of all the superimposed titles that tell what the odds are but I'd have someone — Howie or the models or an announcer — read each dollar amount aloud as a case is opened. People with poor vision or small screens might have had trouble following the play at times.

Lastly, I'd put a sink and some Neutrogena on the set and have all the contestants and their friends wash real good in the hope that maybe the host will risk death by shaking hands with them. I think it's weird that NBC has one reality show where the contestants are expected to eat rat testicles but they also have two — this and Mr. Trump's Apprentice — where the stars are terrified of germs. You know, Howie and Donald, touching other people is a great way to maintain good, healthy hair. Look at the difference between the scalps of Leno and Letterman.

The acclaimed diva, Christine Pedi, sent me this link to a fun online Christmas cartoon. (Ms. Pedi is currently appearing in A Broadway Diva Christmas in New York and will be so doing through New Year's Eve. Go here for more details.)

My favorite online bit of animated holiday cheer each season comes on a site called icq.com where we get an annual performance by Santa and his musical reindeer. Here's a link to the 2002 offering, which is still my favorite. Here's a link to the 2003 installment and to the 2004 chapter. And finally, here's a link to this year's. None of them seem to have any credits but whoever does them is very good.