Every so often, I find myself listening to talk radio until at some point, I decide that I'd prefer music. Or the din of jackhammers. Or car alarms or the sound of orangutans mating or anything but talk radio. This week, whenever I've been in the car, it's somehow been talk radio. For the next few — at least until I forget why I'm giving it up forever — it'll be music, jackhammers or the orangutans. Heard some Limbaugh. Heard some Air America. Didn't much care for either and, oddly enough, not because of politics.
I liked Al Franken's show its first few months when (I have the feeling) it was all new and exciting to him. I think the filling of three hours per day is getting to the guy and the loss of his co-host has made it more evident that he lacks certain broadcasting skills. Say what you will about Rush but he's been at it for a long time and if he gets bored with his own program — and I'm sure he does — he's learned not to let it show. Franken's great as a guest on talk shows and he was especially good with Leno the other night. I've enjoyed his past books and based on this week's New York Times best seller list, I'm obviously not the only one. But there are certain skills one needs to sustain on the radio, especially when you have to fill 15 hours a week, and I don't think Al has them. Maybe he'll make a better senator.
One hears mixed things about how Air America is doing. When I wrote here last April that I was enjoying Franken, I began hearing from those who didn't…and I don't think they were even listening to him. They just didn't like the fact that he was on. One of those folks began bombarding me with links to articles on right-wing sites that proclaimed, not as predictions but as allegedly verified news items, that the network would be off within the week. Months later, those reports look about as accurate as Colin Powell at the U.N.
Still, unlike Powell's presentation, they may be not so much wrong as premature. I don't think "Liberal Radio" will ever catch on big; not unless they solve two problems, one being the limitations of the on-air talent. Never mind the issues. Conservative hosts are just, with some exceptions, more fun to listen to. They're fiery and colorful and generally angrier, which makes for more compelling chatter. And most significant is that if you agree with some or most of what they say, I suspect you come away with solid reinforcement of the rightness of your worldview and satisfaction that you are mainstream and will prevail. "Progressive Talk," as they call the local Air America offerings, is just depressing. If you're a conservative, it depresses you because they're trashing all that you hold sacred. If you're a liberal, it's even worse. I sampled an hour or three of Randi Rhodes on Air America this week and all I heard was how horrible everything is under Bush, how terrible Cheney is, how badly the war in Iraq is going, etc. And even though I agree to some extent with all of that, it was enough to depress Ed McMahon in the middle of a Carson monologue. Someone — please — tell this woman that when you preach to the converted, you ought to send them out with some nugget of hope.
During the Clinton years, Rush and his kind spent a lot of time bemoaning darn near every itch and scratch of Bill and Hillary…but it was always in the context of, "We have them on the run and we shall triumph." In particular, he has long had a flair for taking every bit of bad news for conservatives and assiduously explaining how it isn't really bad news. You'd think, with Bush's popularity rating nearing that of strep throat and polls showing an electorate more eager to elect Democrats than they've been in years, Ms. Rhodes could find some scintilla of optimism somewhere. Maybe when I wasn't listening, she did…but while my car radio was on, she was wailing like a bad road company of Hecuba.
So I guess my problem with Conservative Talk Radio is that it's all about telling conservatives what conservatives want to hear, regardless of the truth. And my problem with Liberal Talk Radio is that it's all about telling liberals what liberals don't want to hear, regardless of the truth. Every time I listen to either, I soon realize what it is that I want to hear. It's music. Or those jackhammers or the orangutans or —
Wait. Maybe jackhammers and orangutans mating sound too much like talk radio. I think I'll stick with music.