Remember my recent problems with PayPal? I received a number of e-mailed apologies from the company and then my postings here got picked up over on Harry McCracken's PC World blog. That prompted someone from PayPal to phone me to apologize…which I suppose is nice but really, apologies from total strangers are pretty worthless. I get them every time something goes wrong with a merchant, and they never make anything better, especially since the person apologizing to me had nothing to do with the screw-up.
I wish companies would realize that when they err, the thing they need to do is to assure the customer that efforts are being taken to make sure it doesn't happen again. A few times when there's been a reason for a business to tell me they're sorry, I hear from someone of sufficient rank to effect change and the person assures me that they understand the problem and are at least attempting to deal with it. That's nice. Even better is when they say something like, "Here's my direct phone number so you never have to languish on hold calling the 800 number again. Call me directly if you ever have another problem." If I were running a big company, I'd hire someone to be the Vice-President in Charge of Mollifying Pissed-Off Customers — though I wouldn't call them that — and have them act as ombudsmen for the victims of screw-ups committed elsewhere in the firm. Refunds and financial considerations are also good.
But I wish they'd stop acting like having a stranger apologize to you means something. I don't want to be stroked, at least not in that way. I want results.