Monthly Archives: June 2004

Here's Frank Rich on the differences between George W. Bush and Ronald W. Reagan.

Just saw a commercial for the new Nissan Ultima that makes use of Dean Martin's record, "Ain't That A Kick in the Head?" As we noted here and here, this song has had an amazing afterlife, especially considering it wasn't one of Dino's biggest hits. If you have Windows Media Player installed on your computer (or maybe some other program), you can hear it by clicking here.

One of the funniest human beings I know is a gent named Chuck McCann. If you grew up in New York in the sixties, you probably remember his now-legendary show for kids, which was filled to overflowing with witty, innovative bits. Many of them later showed up on other programs. So did Chuck, who has worked constantly ever since as an actor, comedian and cartoon voice thespian. You know that bird that goes cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs? Well, the guy currently doing that voice is imitating the guy who originated it and performed it for decades, Chuck McCann. Chuck has also been a voice on most of the Disney TV shows and many, many others, and appeared on-camera on hundreds of programs, including some amazing dramatic parts.

He's also had a pretty good career in movies. One of his best is one of those films you really should see if you've never seen it. It's called The Projectionist and it runs early the morning of 6/19 on the Sundance Channel.

And I could go on and on listing the guy's credits. The thing that I want to get to is that he's one of the best tellers of anecdotes and funny stories in the world…and you'll have the chance to hear some of them if you attend the Comic-Con International in San Diego this year. Friday afternoon at 2:00 in Room 5AB, I will be interviewing Chuck, and we'll show some clips of his work, too. I do lots of panels at conventions (I'm up to 13 for this year's San Diego gathering) but I will predict here and now that this will be one of the most memorable ever. Why? Because I've known Chuck for more than twenty years and I remember every wonderful, hilarious tale I've heard from him in that time. I'm not letting him out of that room until he tells all my favorites.

Remember the famous story of how Soupy Sales was kicked off TV for telling kids to take money out of their parents' wallets and mail it in? Well, Chuck and Soupy were then doing back-to-back shows on that station and Chuck was the guy who had to go out and apologize for what Soupy did…and what he did got him fired, as well. (What was it? You'll have to attend the panel to find out.)

Remember Turn-On, the 1969 TV show that was cancelled right after its first show aired? Well, Chuck was a member of the cast and the story of how he got word of the cancellation is a show biz classic. (What happened? Come to the panel.)

And he was a friend of Stan Laurel and a founder of the Sons of the Desert, the Laurel and Hardy appreciation society. And he works with Mel Brooks and Tim Conway and hangs around the Playboy Mansion and invents brilliant puppets and…aw, gee. Just take my word for it. I don't hard-sell panels too often but every so often, there's one that I tell everyone, "Do not miss this one, whatever you do." This is one such panel so make sure you're there Friday afternoon.

Some of the other dozen events I'm hosting at the con are pretty terrific, too. I'll spotlight them here in the days to come and post a complete schedule shortly. But I wanted to get an early start on nagging you all to come see Chuck.

Congrats (I assume) to Harlan Ellison who has settled his lawsuit against America On-Line regarding the pirating of his copyrighted work by one or more of its users. Here are some details…not a lot but some.

My pal Tom Hegeman, who is himself a lawyer, sends me this link to an article about some legal issues relating to TiVo and its future plans. Might be worth your time to take a peek.

John Kerry keeps sending me mail. I've never donated money to a politician; to political causes, yes, but most of my giving goes to things like feeding hungry children and disaster relief. Still, I somehow got on some mailing lists that prompt every Democrat (and a few Republicans and Independents) to write to me, over and over, in search of money. I get two or three requests a week from John Kerry alone.

Or at least, they pretend to be from John Kerry. The latest ones are all composed to look like Senator Kerry stopped campaigning long enough to write out a batch of letters and personally mail them to possible supporters. The one I received today really pushes the concept. They've made a font out of what I guess is Kerry's handwriting and the letter was addressed with it. So the intended perception is that Kerry not only wrote the letter but personally hand-wrote the envelope, including his return address.

What's the idea here? Does someone on the Kerry staff think I'm going to get one of these and think the senator from Massachusetts and presumed nominee of the Democratic Party actually sat down at his desk after dinner and said "I'll spend some time with you later, Teresa. I want to drop a note to the guy who wrote the Garfield cartoon show and see if he'll send me a few bucks?" Of course not…so why the pretense? (If by some chance I believed Kerry had actually written this, I'd lose a lot of respect for the guy: Doesn't know how to manage his time…doesn't know how to print out mailing labels or buy a return address stamp. Hey, John! You want to create some jobs in this country? Hire someone to address your envelopes!)

I guess I also resent the ongoing deluge. If I had donated cash to Senator Kerry two months ago, I would look at the twenty-or-so mailings I've received since then and think, "I gave you money! Stop nagging me! And stop using that money to send me more junk mail!"

And this goes for Public Television, too. Several years ago, I accidentally allowed my subscription to KCET to expire. Before I could renew it, I received such an avalanche of envelopes — many of them saying, "We miss you" on the outside — that I decided not to re-up. If they ever go three weeks without writing me again, I might consider it.

I got the date wrong in the previous item. The strip in question actually ran on Wednesday, June 9, making Trudeau's bit of precognition all the more amazing.

On the other hand, I'm getting reports that the strip, as it ran in most newspapers that day, actually had slightly different copy in it. In the panel I posted, the kid is saying either, "Dad, someone has to!" or "Dad, somebody has to!" with no mention of Tenet. So apparently Trudeau wrote it that way and shipped it off…then a change was made in strips to be posted on the Internet (and maybe in some papers). So maybe he wasn't quite as prescient as it seems.

George Tenet resigned as director of the C.I.A. on Thursday, June 3. One week later in the Doonesbury newspaper strip — on Thursday, June 10 — one of the characters, C.I.A. intern Jeff, announced he was resigning from the C.I.A. because "Tenet can't take all the blame." Now, comic strips are drawn well in advance of publication and while Doonesbury cuts it closer than most, a week is just about impossible…and the current continuity (viewable here) does not exactly mention Tenet resigning, nor has Tenet (in real life) begun to take blame for anything. Still, add it all up and it looks like Trudeau made a darn good guess at where the news was heading. And a lot of people will probably assume he did write this week's strips in response to Tenet's resignation.

The L.A. Times has set up a dandy interactive site that tracks the state-by-state leanings (and locks) in the presidential race. Go play around with it here. (If that link doesn't work, try this one.)

A number of "big" shows have been announced for Las Vegas showrooms and never happened. Here's a rundown of some of them.

This piece, which was supposedly printed in a newspaper a few years ago, has been floating around the Internet for some time. I dunno if it was really written by the mother of a gay son and/or if it was really published but it makes a pretty powerful statement. One of the reasons I believe the drive to stamp out "gay rights" will never succeed is that the anti-gay folks seem unable to cope with the situation in pragmatic, workable terms. It is one thing to say there shouldn't be homosexuality; quite another to explain to those who feel that way what they should do about it. It's like they think if they can condemn homosexuality loudly enough, every gay will suddenly come to his or her senses, stop buying Bette Midler CDs, marry someone of the opposite sex and procreate aplenty. Anyway, here's the letter — and if it isn't legit, it oughta be…

Letter to the Editor
by Sharon Underwood, Sunday, April 30, 2000
from the Valley News (White River Junction, VT/Hanover, NH)

As the mother of a gay son, I've seen firsthand how cruel and misguided people can be.

Many letters have been sent to the Valley News concerning the homosexual menace in Vermont. I am the mother of a gay son and I've taken enough from you good people.

I'm tired of your foolish rhetoric about the "homosexual agenda" and your allegations that accepting homosexuality is the same thing as advocating sex with children. You are cruel and ignorant. You have been robbing me of the joys of motherhood ever since my children were tiny.

My firstborn son started suffering at the hands of the moral little thugs from your moral, upright families from the time he was in the first grade. He was physically and verbally abused from first grade straight through high school because he was perceived to be gay.

He never professed to be gay or had any association with anything gay, but he had the misfortune not to walk or have gestures like the other boys. He was called "fag" incessantly, starting when he was 6.

In high school, while your children were doing what kids that age should be doing, mine labored over a suicide note, drafting and redrafting it to be sure his family knew how much he loved them. My sobbing 17-year-old tore the heart out of me as he choked out that he just couldn't bear to continue living any longer, that he didn't want to be gay and that he couldn't face a life without dignity.

You have the audacity to talk about protecting families and children from the homosexual menace, while you yourselves tear apart families and drive children to despair. I don't know why my son is gay, but I do know that God didn't put him, and millions like him, on this Earth to give you someone to abuse. God gave you brains so that you could think, and it's about time you started doing that.

At the core of all your misguided beliefs is the belief that this could never happen to you, that there is some kind of subculture out there that people have chosen to join. The fact is that if it can happen to my family, it can happen to yours, and you won't get to choose. Whether it is genetic or whether something occurs during a critical time of fetal development, I don't know. I can only tell you with an absolute certainty that it is inborn.

If you want to tout your own morality, you'd best come up with something more substantive than your heterosexuality. You did nothing to earn it; it was given to you. If you disagree, I would be interested in hearing your story, because my own heterosexuality was a blessing I received with no effort whatsoever on my part. It is so woven into the very soul of me that nothing could ever change it. For those of you who reduce sexual orientation to a simple choice, a character issue, a bad habit or something that can be changed by a 10-step program, I'm puzzled. Are you saying that your own sexual orientation is nothing more than something you have chosen, that you could change it at will? If that's not the case, then why would you suggest that someone else can?

A popular theme in your letters is that Vermont has been infiltrated by outsiders. Both sides of my family have lived in Vermont for generations. I am heart and soul a Vermonter, so I'll thank you to stop saying that you are speaking for "true Vermonters."

You invoke the memory of the brave people who have fought on the battlefield for this great country, saying that they didn't give their lives so that the "homosexual agenda "could tear down the principles they died defending. My 83-year-old father fought in some of the most horrific battles of World War II, was wounded and awarded the Purple Heart.

He shakes his head in sadness at the life his grandson has had to live. He says he fought alongside homosexuals in those battles, that they did their part and bothered no one. One of his best friends in the service was gay, and he never knew it until the end, and when he did find out, it mattered not at all. That wasn't the measure of the man.

You religious folk just can't bear the thought that as my son emerges from the hell that was his childhood he might like to find a lifelong companion and have a measure of happiness. It offends your sensibilities that he should request the right to visit that companion in the hospital, to make medical decisions for him or to benefit from tax laws governing inheritance.

How dare he? you say. These outrageous requests would threaten the very existence of your family, would undermine the sanctity of marriage.

You use religion to abdicate your responsibility to be thinking human beings. There are vast numbers of religious people who find your attitudes repugnant. God is not for the privileged majority, and God knows my son has committed no sin.

The deep-thinking author of a letter to the April 12 Valley News who lectures about homosexual sin and tells us about "those of us who have been blessed with the benefits of a religious upbringing" asks: "What ever happened to the idea of striving…to be better human beings than we are?"

Indeed, sir, what ever happened to that?

A number of folks have written to ask me questions about Carmine Infantino's announced lawsuit against DC Comics. I don't have a lot of details and I don't have a lot of time this week…so I'll refer you to my pal Steven Grant and his current column. He has what seems to me like a good take on the situation, given what little we know at the moment.

Wanna be in a movie? If you live in Southern California and you're over 16, you could be part of a crowd scene in the new live-action Fat Albert movie that's currently in production. Our friends over at BeInAMovie.com need bodies for this coming weekend. For info, hurry over to their website…

Oh, yeah. I should have mentioned also that they were opposite the season finale of The Sopranos and game one of the NBA finals. As many of you wrote to remind me.

Several folks have written to ask when I'll be posting the list of panels I'm hosting at this year's Comic-Con International in San Diego. Answer: Soon, very soon. We're still firming up what looks like twelve panels (my usual number). They will include the traditional Jack Kirby Tribute Panel, marking ten years since Jack passed away, as well as the Golden/Silver Age Panel, the Cartoon Voices Panel, another rousing game of Quick Draw!, a tribute to Julius Schwartz and the usual Sergio-and-ME panel, plus half a dozen others. A couple of the others I intend to recommend unreservedly to you all, and I'll post the list as soon as we're certain it's firm…or at least unlikely to change. In the meantime, here's a banner for the convention. And now I gotta get to bed…