Monthly Archives: April 2004

E. J. Dionne Jr. summarizes a basic problem with our Iraq efforts. I agree with this and I suspect most people do, even if some won't admit it during an election year.

I am not watching The Apprentice but I know that tonight is the big finale where we find out which of the contestants wins. At 8:21 PM Pacific Time, an Associated Press report appeared at news websites revealing that winner. The final show airs on this coast from 9:00 to 11:00 PM, so the answer was available before the show even started. That had to ruin it for someone…but of course, there's no way to embargo or suppress this kind of news on a show that isn't done live to all of America.

Once upon a time, there was a simple reason for networks to air shows on tape delay to the West. It would have been inconvenient for the Pacific Time Zone (and decreased viewers) if the shows programmed for 8 PM aired here at 5 PM. It would still be inconvenient but with the rise of VCRs and DVRs, it's a little less so. People are increasingly recording shows when they air and then watching them when they feel like it. Also, those of us with satellite dishes can watch a different time zone. I have The Tonight Show on right now.

It won't happen tomorrow but it's also not in the distant future that most viewers will have that choice. Every cable company will carry multiple versions of CBS, NBC, ABC and other networks. You'll be able to watch CBS-East or CBS-West, NBC-East or NBC-West, etc. This will solve the problem of "live" events because everyone will have the option of watching a show like The Apprentice live. We may also have "delay" channels that will run the entire network schedule again, twelve hours later. So if you miss a show that airs at 9:30 PM, you can just set your TiVo or VCR to record it the following morning at 9:30 AM. This will make it possible for you to watch several shows that air opposite one another.

And they'll still screw us up by having shows start at 8:57 and end at 9:32.

I don't know why I'm so interested in this since it's just a semi-arbitrary list compiled by unknown folks using unknown criteria. Still, I'm following Comedy Central's countdown of The 100 Greatest Standups of All Time. Tonight, they gave us #21-40 which they have as Dennis Miller, Robert Klein, Stephen Wright, Redd Foxx, Bob Hope, Ray Romano, Jay Leno, Jack Benny, Milton Berle, Garry Shandling, George Burns, Albert Brooks, Andy Kaufman, Buddy Hackett, Phyllis Diller, Jim Carrey, Martin Lawrence, Bill Maher, Billy Crystal and Mort Sahl. In that order, with Sahl at #40.

You'll note that when I predicted the Top Forty, I didn't have Lawrence, Crystal, Berle, Burns, Benny, Romano or Wright. I haven't seen enough of Lawrence or Romano for them to register on my radar, and I didn't think they'd include guys like Berle, Burns and Benny. (As they revealed the list from the bottom up, there wasn't a single deceased comic in the bottom fifty.) I somehow don't think of Crystal as a stand-up, but Mr. Wright's name should have occurred to me. He's quite wonderful.

So who's in their Top Twenty, which will get revealed tomorrow night? A teaser at the end of tonight's show flashed shots of Johnny Carson, David Letterman, Bob Newhart, Jonathan Winters, Robin Williams, George Carlin, Ellen DeGeneres, Roseanne Barr, Sam Kinison, Jerry Seinfeld, Don Rickles, Eddie Murphy, Woody Allen, Rodney Dangerfield, Chris Rock, Lenny Bruce, Bill Cosby and Richard Pryor. (That's not the order in which they were presented, nor does it probably relate to their order on the final list.)

That's eighteen names. I'm going to guess the other two are Bill Hicks and Lord Buckley, and that they didn't make the promo because most people wouldn't have recognized them on sight.

No matter how they arrange the Top Twenty, this isn't a bad list. As I said, I think Shelley Berman and Jackie Mason are way too low. So are Robert Klein and Mort Sahl, who are among the most imitated folks on the roster. I don't quite get the placement of Roseanne Barr or Ellen DeGeneres…and I wonder if anyone considered Danny Thomas, Godfrey Cambridge, Lily Tomlin, George Gobel, Myron Cohen, Martin Mull, Jack E. Leonard, Moms Mabley, Norm Crosby, Rich Little, Dick Shawn, Margaret Cho, Gabe Kaplan, Whoopi Goldberg, Pat Buttram, John Byner, Andy Griffith, Pete Barbutti or Jackie Vernon. I can't recall laughing more than I did the time I saw Jackie Vernon at the old Marina Hotel in Las Vegas. Are these folks not on the list because someone didn't think of them? Or did they not fit the judges' definition of standup comedians? Or did someone really think Godfrey Cambridge didn't blaze trails and make people laugh?

Anyway, like I said: Not a bad list. I was expecting to disagree a lot more than this.

Today was the annual Joe Barbera birthday party, which for some reason is never held on Mr. Barbera's birthday, which is March 24. Last year, the party took place on April 9 and the year before, it was March 22. In any case, he was born around 93 years ago (give or take) and as usual, a nice grouping of friends and employees turned out to wish Mr. B. the best. Among the voice actors present were Gary Owens, John Stephenson, Ruth Buzzi, Lucille Bliss, Henry Corden and Casey Kasem, and among the long-time Hanna-Barbera artists were Iwao Takamoto and Jerry Eisenberg.

Songs were sung, speeches were made, cake was served and a fine, loving time was had by all. Oh, yeah — and Paul Dini got a photo of himself with someone in a Scooby Doo costume.

Comedy Central is running a five-part special this week…The 100 Greatest Standups of All Time. Each night, they cover 20 comedians on their list, counting up from the bottom. A group of comics sit around Canter's Delicatessen talking about each comic and there are short clips…and if you can get past the fact that the list is highly arguable, it's a rather entertaining exercise. As I've mentioned, I think people take such lists too seriously, and the end credits of this show include a fast disclaimer that says as much. Still, you can't help but watch the rankings and go, "That's nuts" every now and then. Here's as much of the list as they've posted on their site so far.

The first three nights, they've unveiled #41-100 and a few gross injustices leap out at me. Shelley Berman (who Comedy Central has as #66) and Jackie Mason (their #63) should both be in the top ten. I'm guessing that Comedy Central's #1 comic will be either George Carlin or Richard Pryor with the other as first runner-up.

I thought I'd try to guess their entire Top Forty but that gets into a problem of definitions. I don't know if they're considering folks like Johnny Carson, Bob Hope, Lily Tomlin, David Letterman and Jonathan Winters. So, keeping in mind that I may be way off in their criteria, I'll guess that they'll count those folks plus (in no particular order) Robin Williams, Andy Kaufman, Albert Brooks, Jay Leno, Steve Martin, Garry Shandling, Mort Sahl, Lenny Bruce, Woody Allen, Bill Cosby, Dennis Miller, Robert Klein, Bob Newhart, Sam Kinison, Phyllis Diller, Eddie Murphy, Rodney Dangerfield, Lord Buckley, Jerry Seinfeld, Bill Maher, Buddy Hackett, Don Rickles, Bill Hicks, maybe Jim Carrey, maybe Roseanne, maybe Godfrey Cambridge, Redd Foxx and Chris Rock, plus Carlin and Pryor. That's 35 names. Let's see who else they have on their list and if they leave any of these people out altogether. If Carrot Top gets in, it'll be the biggest scandal since the invention of the Hanging Chad.

Today, testifying under oath, C.I.A. director George Tenet said that during the month of August 2001, he did not visit Texas, which is where George W. Bush was vacationing. After his testimony, it was revealed that Tenet was wrong; that he'd gone there on August 17. Others are discussing questions relating to how involved Bush then was in what the C.I.A. was doing about terrorism, or about whether Condoleezza Rice fibbed in her testimony about how often Bush met with Tenet. I'm not going to get into that.

What interests me here is the notion that sometimes, even under oath, people get things wrong. I don't think Tenet was deliberately lying. He had no reason to lie and even if he did, it would be the kind of lie that is easily disproven. He just misremembered.

This happens…to everyone. I'm even willing to believe George W. Bush misremembered when he claimed to have watched live TV coverage of the first plane hitting the World Trade Center on 9/11.

Back during the last presidential debates, Al Gore happened to mention that some time before, he'd gone with James Lee Witt, who was then the head of FEMA, to inspect the damage from some flooding in Texas. It later came out that Gore had gone to other disasters with Witt but had inspected the Texas flood situation with the regional FEMA director. People like William Bennett immediately cited this as an example of Al Gore being a pathological liar.

This is one of the aspects of politics that really annoys me. I don't think it reflects on someone's integrity that they occasionally misspeak or misremember. I do think it reflects on the integrity of those who try to spin everything the opposition does as a lie and a sign of aberrant character…and are quite willing to make up rules as they go along. John McCain and a few others have scored points with me because they occasionally (not always) refuse to stoop to such tactics and scold those who do. But they don't do it very often and most of our public figures and pundits don't do it at all.

Carol Lay is one of the best, most original cartoonists working today. Over on her website, you can see some of her work and purchase originals, prints and pins. And if you're going to purchase something, this would be a dandy time as Carol is holding a Divorce Sale. So here's your chance to help a terrific talent and get a bargain at the same time.

William Saletan has an analysis of Bush's press conference last evening. I don't agree with all of this but I think it's an interesting way to look at it. This administration does place a high value on saying the same thing over and over, even after the underlying facts change.

Here's an article that offers some perspective on the fight by the Simpsons voice cast for better pay. Two things you should always remember about such disputes: One is that the demands and responses are always posturing and exaggeration. If and when they settle, it will be a compromise. Secondly, the money we're talking about here is a share of the profits. The money the actors don't get paid is money that the studio gets to keep…and even pay out in bonuses to people who have less to do with the show's success than the actors. It does not go to widows and orphans.

Here's the latest on the negotiations for the voice cast of The Simpsons to return for another season. I am wholly on their side on this. What they're asking for is a teensy fraction of what that show is worth.

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart continues to be the cleverest show on television. Or at least, I think it is. If you haven't sampled it, you're really doing yourself a disservice. I highly recommend their deconstruction of the Condoleezza Rice testimony, and if you missed it, you can view a portion online.

The way the Comedy Central website is set up, it's a little tricky to link directly to a videoclip. Go to this page and select "Me Ain't Culpa." And while you're there, watch some other clips. Better still, watch The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.

I'm still battling that deadline so here are a few brief items and updates…

• Several folks have written to tell me of past, unsuccessful attempts to introduce White Castle to Los Angeles. I'm not sure if those were owned-and-operated stands or if White Castle tried farming out the business on a franchise deal. But apparently there have been times when White Castle's reticence to venture outside its established turf hasn't been as firm as it has been in the past few years.
• Two people wrote to note that Aaron McGruder does not actually draw Boondocks, at least not any more. The piece to which I linked says that he's handed that task off to an assistant.
• I just received an e-mail ad for medications from "Thereafter R. Listlessly." Another great name.
• Yes, I know the incident of the man who wagered his life's savings in Vegas was being filmed for a British reality series. I still think it'll be more than that. And that it's not a good idea to try such a thing.
• Yes, I know that there was no live TV coverage of the first plane hitting the World Trade Center on 9/11 and that G.W. Bush could not possibly have seen it as it happened, as he has claimed. I'm surprised the Democrats have not made more of that little discrepancy…but they will.
• Corey Klemow writes to say, "People keep saying that Bush was 'reading to children.' As I'm sure you know (since you've linked to it and all), the footage of Bush in the classroom that day shows that the children were actually reading to him." Like me, Corey thinks that's a tiny detail but it is worth mentioning.
• Lastly, this weblog post by Kevin Drum lays out an interesting account of why he changed from backing the war in Iraq to opposing it. I frankly don't understand why folks who support the effort aren't more upset about the wildly inaccurate estimates we've had of cost, manpower, timetable, being welcomed in the streets, etc. Even if one presumes they were all honestly believed when they were made, that does not inspire confidence in our leaders…or their current projections.

That's all for now. Back to deadline!

Here's a profile of Aaron McGruder, who draws the syndicated strip, Boondocks.

Michael Chabon has a good article in the New York Times about escapism in entertainment.