The 2003 Jerry Lewis Labor Day Telethon racked up $60.5 million in nationwide pledges for the Muscular Dystrophy Association. That's a record but I wonder how often any sort of major telethon doesn't set a record. I worked on one major telethon about twenty years ago (not Jerry's) and the attitude of its operators was that at its end, they were going to announce a total of at least 10% more than the previous year, regardless of what was actually pledged. The explanation was that a telethon will ultimately collect somewhere between 75% and 105% of its pledge amounts so there was plenty of wiggle room there. No one could ever prove they hadn't received that many in pledges. The producer could have run out to a pay phone, phoned in a couple of huge fake pledges and put them over the top. And it wouldn't be his problem if the money for them never actually came in.
But Jerry's $60.5 million is probably legit and as such, it's an admirable piece of change, made all the more amazing when you consider that the telecast had some clearance problems this year. In many large cities it was either not on or was relegated to some UHF station way up the dial and out in the sticks. Many of the cities that did carry it didn't air all 21.5 hours, cutting away for large chunks to air a baseball game or even normal programming. At one point, though it was being "carried" by three different stations I get on my satellite dish, none of them had it on.
I watched intermittently, fascinated at the sometimes-odd array of acts that popped in, many of them people you just don't see on television anymore. Julius LaRosa sang a couple of numbers. So did Steve Lawrence, Charo, Jack Jones and Nancy Sinatra. At one point, I tuned in and caught Fyvush Finkel doing a rousing (i.e., loud) rendition of "L'Chaim" from Fiddler on the Roof and later, Charlie Callas made funny faces as he lip-synched the "I Remember It Well" number from the movie, Gigi. I like some of those performers, and I was delighted to see some of the better stars of Vegas, like Bob Anderson and Lance Burton. Still, I suspect if you're under 40 and not a frequent visitor to Las Vegas, you could watch for a pretty long stretch without seeing anyone you'd ever heard of besides Jer. At one point, I found myself wondering to a friend on the phone why the line-up included so few stars you'd ever see in contemporary (as opposed to rerun) television programming. The best I could surmise was that this is Jerry's show business: The stars he knows, the ones who come out of his tradition of entertainment. And since Jerry is the show, the show is Jerry.
He's awfully good at it, especially when he and/or his guests get off the topic of what a wonderful thing Jerry Lewis is doing for His Kids. For some reason, this year I found myself enjoying the little moments when a corporate executive would come out, awkwardly plug his company and proudly present Jerry with a check for some vast amount of moola. Mr. Lewis has been criticized for trampling on the dignity of folks who have afflictions and/or are confined to wheelchairs. If you browse the 'net, you'll find a number of angry essays by such people, bemoaning that he transforms them into objects of pity. I'm sure some feel that way, and of course they have every right to feel how they feel. But I also think Jerry is pretty good at making some folks feel pretty special. Those who were brought on as "victims" of Muscular Dystrophy clearly loved their moments before the camera and the feeling that they were doing something positive to help themselves, and others who are afflicted. Heck, even some of those corporate sponsors and performers who don't often get in front of a TV camera seemed to feel vital and important. I guess I used to watch the Jerry Lewis Telethon because I liked the off-beat performers and the sheer campy ego excesses that came between them. Now I think I watch because I like the off-beat performers and the fact that all those people on the screen, however effectual or self-possessed they may be, may actually be doing something to help other human beings.
We don't get nearly enough of that in this world. In fact, I'm not sure you can get nearly enough of that in this world.