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Monthly Archives: July 2003
Con Pic
Here's a photo from the Jack Kirby Tribute Panel at the Comic-Con International in San Diego. Left to right, that's Michael Chabon (author of The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Klay), Marvel Comics guru Stan "the Man" Lee, longtime Marvel artist Sal Buscema, longtime Spider-Man artist Larry Lieber, Archie artist Stan Goldberg, and me. In the front row, we have Wendy Pini (co-creator of Elfquest) and one of Kirby's favorite inkers, Mike Royer. The photo was taken by the other co-creator of Elfquest, Richard Pini, and can also be seen over on their website along with plenty of other peachy things.
Of all the Jack Kirby Tribute Panels I've done at conventions since Jack passed on, this may have been the best. Everyone had meaningful, insightful things to say…like the way Wendy spoke of showing her artwork to Jack when she was just starting out. He decided she was too good for what was then a very bleak, confining business and he told her, "If I ever catch you working in comics, I'll spank you." She went on to do some wonderful comics as it happened, and every time she saw Jack after that, she said, "I'm ready for my spanking, Mr. Kirby." Stan Goldberg spoke about how when he was coloring Jack's work for Marvel in the sixties, he'd go out to lunch with Kirby and inker Frank Giacoia. Crossing streets, Stan and Frank would walk on either side of Kirby to protect him because, they joked, if he got run over, there'd be no company left. Sal Buscema, who never got to meet Jack, spoke of the challenge of carrying on a Kirby-designed character. Larry Lieber, who scripted those early monster comics Jack drew for Marvel for a time explained that Jack could even draw a rock and make it interesting. And the two Michaels both spoke of what Jack's work had meant to them — Chabon, of how it had inspired his Pulitzer-winning novel; Royer, of how the aroma of Roi-Tan cigars, which permeated the drawings he received from Jack to work on caused him to take up cigar-smoking.
A big treat was the "surprise" appearance of Stan Lee who was nice enough to accept my invite to stop by. Now that Bob Hope is no longer available to make surprise walk-ons, I think the mantle should be passed on to Stan. He does a good surprise walk-on.
You'll be able to read the full text of all that was said when The Jack Kirby Collector gets around to running a transcript. For now, I just wanted to show the photo, mention how good it all was, and thank all the participants for participating. Next year will be the tenth anniversary of Jack's passing but, in part because of folks like the ones on the panel, it feels like he's still around. And in a way, he is.
Obits by the Dead
As everyone knows, newspapers write obituaries of famous people well in advance. Here's a striking example.
The obit that the New York Times just ran on Bob Hope was authored by Vincent Canby.
Vincent Canby died on October 15, 2000.
A Handy Service
Earlier, we were talking about the occasional need to leave an e-mail address when you sign up for some Internet service. My pal Josh Jones has set up something which may help you in some situations…
It's www.spam.la, which is a completely spammable domain. Use anything@spam.la as a fake e-mail address. "Anything" can be anything. You can enter fred@spam.la or GeorgeBush@spam.la or popeye@spam.la or any name you like. Any replies don't go to you. They go to a message board Josh has set up at http://www.spam.la.
This won't help you with sites that want to send you a confirmation e-mail to validate the address you leave, but it may be of value in some situations. And if you get a longing to read junk mail, there's plenty there to enjoy.
More Recall Stuff
And more proof that this is a stupid, messy process.
Good News
At 2:50 this afternoon my time, I posted this item about how Darnell Williams, a convicted murderer in Indiana, was being denied access to DNA testing that might have proved him innocent. (He was scheduled for execution this coming Friday.)
At 3:04, Reuters moved this report that announced that Governor Frank O'Bannon has stayed the execution and ordered the DNA testing.
I'm not going to suggest that this website was responsible. But you never know.
Also…
If you're over at that Library of Congress website looking at Bob Hope stuff and you get through early, you might want to take a gander at this online exhibit. It features some of the lesser-known works of another legend — one who didn't live quite as long as Bob.
A Blog To Visit
My buddy Paul Harris does a terrific radio show on KTRS in St. Louis. He is now doing a terrific weblog which he calls The Bucket. Just bookmarked it on my "Daily Visit" list and so should you.
Recommended Reading
As readers of this weblog know, one of my pet issues is how dysfunctional our court system is, especially with regard to crimes for which people receive the Death Penalty. I go back and forth on whether the Death Penalty is just, moral or even a good idea…but I do not waver on the belief that if we do have a Death Penalty, we should only be executing people who are definitely guilty. And I'm amazed how to some people, that seems to be a relatively-unimportant, even bothersome technicality.
I think there are some folks in this nation who really like the idea of the government putting Bad Guys to death. They like it so much that they don't want to hear that some of those Bad Guys might be innocent, lest that revelation make Capital Punishment less popular. How else to explain situations like that of a man named Darnell Williams?
Here's an op-ed piece by a lawyer who is upset that the state (Indiana, in this case) will not allow DNA testing that might prove that Williams, who is soon to be excuted, is innocent. You would think that would be a reasonable request. Does anyone really benefit if an innocent man is executed? You'd think people would want that, if only because it means the guilty party pulls off The Perfect Crime and gets away with murder. But the execution is still planned and the DNA test isn't.
And no, the lawyer who wrote this op-ed piece is not Darnell Williams' lawyer. He's the lawyer who prosecuted and convicted Darnell Williams. Even he thinks Williams may be innocent of the killings…
Update
Just fixed some typos and rewrote two badly-written sentences in the Bob Hope piece.
Also, in answer to Jerry Beck's question over at Cartoon Research, I understand Bob did have a complete collection of the Bob Hope comic book. In fact, there are some in this exhibit of his life at The Library of Congress. That website will show you more Hope memorabilia than you could ever want to peruse.
One other thought, perhaps a bit morbid: We seem to be suffering from a paucity of Elder Statesmen Comedians. It wasn't that long ago, we had Hope and Berle and Burns and Lucy and a couple of other folks in their eighties and nineties, all very visible and around to be interviewed. Now, the three biggies who come to mind are Jerry Lewis (age 77), Johnny Carson (age 78) and Sid Caesar (age 81).
Of those three, only Jer is really active and he doesn't seem to wear the mantle well. Carson's a hermit. Over on the David Letterman fan sites, there seems to be the recurring dream that Johnny will appear with Dave or even guest-host for him. But last year, one of Carson's closest associates told me that he couldn't imagine anything so important that it would get Johnny in front of a camera again. ("Maybe if it would cure cancer," the guy said. Then he added, "But maybe not even then.") Sid Caesar is in poor health and the last few times I've seen him speak, he fell back on the double-talk German and French, rather than really talk.
Are there any great, legendary comedians in their nineties? Or even in their mid-to-late eighties? I can't think of one. There's probably a reason for this gap but I haven't taken the time to puzzle out what it might be. Maybe something about the timing by which radio comedy shows came to prominence and then evolved into television.
Anyway, it's just a thought. And like I said, maybe a bit morbid. But I'd sure hate to see the day when the Great Elder Statesman of Comedy is Gallagher.
Recommended Reading
Over at Salon, Michelle Goldberg writes a thought-provoking article about the uneasiness some Republicans feel about where Bush is taking the country. This feels like an important issue to me.
Since this is Salon, you have to either be a subscriber or watch ads in order to read the entire article. If you've been thinking of subscribing, now would be a great time to do so. The price goes up in about four days.
But I Wanna Tell Ya…
Fans used to complain that DC Comics had misleading covers but this one sure was accurate: "America's Favorite Funnyman." Bob Hope was that, and he held the title far longer than anyone else ever has or will. I haven't really cruised the Internet much since I awoke to the news that he's passed away but I'd wager every current events/news website is making that point, probably under a banner that says "Thanks for the Memories."The obits were prepared long ago, and about all I can add to them is to recall a few times I had the honor — and he sure made you feel like it was one — of being in the presence of Mr. Robert Hope. He also made you feel like he excelled at being Bob Hope; that he knew precisely who and what he was, and that it was who and what he wanted to be: A very big, very busy star but eminently approachable in spite of the fact that you couldn't get near him. I felt this instantly the first time I met him…in, believe it or not, the bargain basement area of a May Company department store.
It was the one at the corner of Pico and Overland in West Los Angeles, a few blocks from where I then lived. It was January of '75 and Hope had just published The Last Christmas Show, a book about his overseas tours to entertain the troops. He was appearing at the store to sign copies and I was thinking of going, not so much to see him in person as to get an autographed book. But I figured the line would extend to around Bakersfield and I didn't want one that badly. As it happened, it was pouring rain that morning and it suddenly let up around a half-hour before the time of Mr. Hope's signing. "Aha," I thought wrongly, "There'll be a very low turnout."
So I threw on my raincoat and walked up to the May Company, all the time pondering what Bob "Mr. Topical Monologue" Hope might say or do. At the time, Olympic swim champ Mark Spitz seemed to be the punchline to every joke so I imagined Hope saying something like, "I wouldn't say it's wet out there but on the escalator up, I passed a halibut, three salmon and Mark Spitz."
When I got there, I went up to the third level, where the line snaked all around the floor — hundreds and hundreds of people waiting for him. I decided not to wait in it. The signs said he was appearing for an hour and there was no way even "Rapid Robert," as some called him, could sign books for all those folks in that time. (Some people had already purchased and were holding three or four copies.) He was due in twenty minutes so I decided to wander the store and return when he arrived to catch a glimpse of the man and — and this interested me more — see how he'd handle that huge crowd.
I went down to the store's basement where they sold cheap art supplies. I'd been there about two minutes when some doors behind me flew open and an entourage of men stormed in from the parking garage. In the center of the group, flawlessly attired in a pale blue-grey suit, was Bob Hope. And by dumb luck, I was standing between him and the elevator to which they were leading him.
As if I mattered in the least, he walked up to me and shook my hand. Then he took note of my damp raincoat and said, "Hey, looks like it's wet outside." How had he not noticed that on his drive there? In reply to him, I threw my line: "I wouldn't say it's wet out there but on the escalator up, I passed a halibut, three salmon and Mark Spitz." He laughed…and I guess I thought, "Hey, I just made Bob Hope laugh."
Before I could grasp the significance (if any) of that, Hope's men swept him into the elevator and he was gone. I wasn't entirely sure he'd ever been there. So I sprinted for the escalator and managed to make it up to the book-signing area just as he was arriving. The line of buyers broke into applause as he strode effortlessly to the front table and picked up a little microphone. "Hey, I wanna thank you all for coming," he said, and everyone laughed because he sounded just like Bob Hope. "Boy, it's wet around here," he continued. "On the escalator up, I passed a halibut, three salmon and Mark Spitz." Everyone laughed again. Even I laughed a half-second before I realized: Hey, that's my line.
(It is perhaps worth noting that we all laughed in spite of the fact that we all knew he hadn't taken the escalator. It worked in the joke, and that was what mattered. There's an oft-quoted story about Hope appearing once in England and telling a joke where the punchline was something like, "They went to a motel." The audience howled even though at the time the word "motel" was largely unknown in England. An American journalist who was present asked one of the people who'd laughed if they knew what a motel was. The person said they didn't. The journalist asked them why they'd laughed then. The reply was, "Because we know he's funny and it seemed like the end of the joke.")
At the May Company, Hope sat down and began signing books and I suddenly decided that no matter how long I had to wait, I was going to get one. It took about ninety minutes — longer than the announced time of his appearance but still a lot less than I'd have guessed, given how many people were ahead of me.
They had it down to a science: One of Hope's helpers gave you a slip of paper on which you were to write what you wanted Bob to write.The helper would then look at it and edit it down or make you rewrite it to keep it brief or to remove things that Bob didn't want to write. They'd then pass your book to Bob with it open to the signing page and your slip placed just above where he signed, and he'd sign. The assistants were in control and they kept it moving so swiftly, you were almost afraid to try and say something to Hope. It disappointed a lot of people who'd come, hoping to exchange a few words or perhaps get a photo ("No pictures," the aides scolded) but you had to marvel at the efficiency: A ton of books were sold and signed, and Bob didn't look like the bad guy for not engaging you in a leisurely chat.
When it was my turn, I tried to remind him of our basement encounter, hoping he'd thank me for the joke or something. He grinned and said thanks but I'm not sure he had any idea what either of us was talking about. He just had to keep the line moving. I went home, pleased to have an inscribed first edition, proud that I'd gotten even those few seconds of individual attention in the basement…and proud that I'd "written" something that fit Bob Hope so well, Bob Hope had used it. I tried telling some of my friends about it but I wasn't a professional comedy writer back then and they obviously didn't believe me.
Back then, I was occasionally spending afternoons at NBC studios in Burbank where I had an almost-legal way to get in. Once you were in, if you acted like you belonged there and knew where you were going, no one ever stopped you from visiting tapings and rehearsals. In earlier years, I'd spent most of my time watching Laugh-In tape but that show was over by '75, so I'd go watch The Dean Martin Show rehearse (without Dean Martin) or watch The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson (which sometimes even starred Johnny Carson). If Hope was there when I was, I'd watch from afar as he taped a sketch for one of his specials. My most vivid memories of those moments are of him yelling at his eternal cue card man, Barney McNulty, when the cards weren't in the right order or properly legible. Shortly after that day at the May Company, I was present when he was on with Johnny. I think it was a Friday show and he was plugging his latest special, which was to air Monday.
Poaching on the set, I managed to see how it was done: About thirty seconds before Johnny introduced him, Hope strode into Stage 1 with the inevitable entourage, perhaps even the same one. He was still reviewing a piece of paper with a couple of jokes on it as the band struck up his theme song. Then he handed the page to an aide, walked out to tumultuous applause, and sat down next to Carson, who expertly fed him the questions that elicited the just-studied jokes. The segment went about as well as such segments ever do, and my overall admiration was not so much at the wit but at the sheer expertise in the delivery. Bob and Johnny were both utterly in control and things went precisely the way both wanted them to.
At the first commercial break, Hope stepped out and told Johnny's studio audience that they were so good, he had decided to ask them to stick around after The Tonight Show was finished so that he could use them to tape the monologue for his special. The crowd almost gasped with delight. Hope explained that the rest of the special had been recorded a week or two back but he always did the monologue at the last minute so it could be more topical. He also explained that the stage we were in — Stage 1 — was his design. The steep rake was because when he was performing, he liked to be able to look up and see as many laughing faces as possible.
Sure enough, not one person budged from their seats as the Carson show concluded. A different curtain was flown in for Bob to perform in front of, and he took a few minutes to run through his cue cards with Barney McNulty. When all was in readiness, Hope stepped into position and did the monologue three times. The first time through, everyone laughed a lot. The second time through, they laughed a little less. And the third time through, they laughed more than the second time, because Hope began screwing with the wording and muttering things like, "We'll cut that one." Johnny Carson was just off-camera throughout and at one point in the middle of the third take, Bob stepped over to him and whispered something that I suspect was very dirty, and Carson got hysterical. Then Hope thanked everyone for sticking around — like they'd all done him a favor —and he and the entourage disappeared. Again, my overwhelming impression was of efficiency more than inspiration. The following Monday night, what aired was most of the first take with maybe five jokes cut, and perhaps one or two inserted from Take Two.
I met him one other time and actually got to talk to him. I was visiting the set of The Barbara Mandrell Show when he did a guest appearance and one of the producers, Sid Krofft, introduced us. There was a lull in the taping and Sid, afraid I guess that Hope would get bored or restless, shoved me into the breach to distract him. Actually, it wasn't necessary because there was a girl dancer limbering up near us and Mr. Hope was a lot more interested in her legs and rear end than in anything I was likely to say. Nevertheless, I told him I'd just been reading a book about Walter Winchell and asked him if he was ever going to make the long-rumored movie in which he would play the gossip columnist. He actually looked away from the dancer's butt long enough to say, "Oh, definitely," though he never did. But at the time, he was sure he'd do the film and when the dancer moved away, he started telling me what a fascinating son-of-a-bitch Winchell had been — though he chuckled when he told the following story, which I'd already heard.
One of his first screen appearances was in a dreadful short comedy called Going Spanish. Shortly after viewing it, Hope ran into Winchell who asked him how it was. "When they catch Dillinger, they're going to make him sit through it twice," the legend-to-be replied. Winchell printed the remark in his column and the movie studio dropped Hope's contract, proclaiming they had enough trouble selling his films without him knocking them in the press. I said to Hope, "Well, that sure hurt your career" and he grinned. He could grin because, I suspect, that was the last mistake he ever made.
Watergate Revisited
I just happened across this news item from May and was disappointed to learn that the experts who once thought they could recover the sound from the infamous Nixon tape have given up. What was said during the eighteen-and-a-half minute gap remains a mystery…at least for now.
Internet Forums
Several folks (including its proprietor, Jonah Weiland) have written to me concerning my comments on the website, Comic Book Resources. All have noted that one can avoid pop-ups by skipping the first page and going directly to, for instance, Scott Shaw!'s Oddball Comics Page. Or Augie DeBlieck Jr's Pipeline column. Or even Steven Grant's Permanent Damage commentaries. I suppose I should have thought of that. I don't begrudge Jonah whatever income the pop-up ads generate for him and I don't mind sneaking in the back door. (I do wonder how effective pop-up ads are, anywhere on the Internet, but that's not his fault.)
Regarding the message boards there: I guess I'm bothered that the wonderful tool of Free Speech and Communication that is the Internet isn't put to better use. I've had fine, informative exchanges on many conversation boards but sooner if not later, those forums all seem to be made dysfunctional by (generalization alert) loud folks who (another generalization alert) hide behind fake names and therefore feel empowered to be a little ruder than necessary. CBR is better than most but it seems to happen everywhere. Among folks who fit vaguely into the dubious category of "comic book professional," I am more tolerant than most but even I find myself lately avoiding public Internet forums. To participate means to eventually find yourself in a rather pointless slap-fight with some probably-anonymous soul who preempts meaningful discussion with hostility or sheer, unadulterated Attention-Getting.
I talked about this with a few industry professionals at the Comic-Con and heard every one of them utter a cliché about life being too short. As creative folks, we are (yet another generalization) usually reticent to suggest that anyone be made to shut up, so we just withdraw. Oddly enough, when I've done this in the past, I've sometimes been accused of advocating censorship. Apparently, some folks' definition of Free Speech requires that all parties stick around and participate in discussions they no longer enjoy…so, for emphasis: I am not suggesting anyone anywhere not be allowed to post whatever opinions they have, even anonymously, in any venue that welcomes that. I'm just wishing for some different kinds of venues. I've been thinking for some time about one that I want to set up, and this may get me off the dime to do so.
Anyway, I apologize if I was dumping on Comic Book Resources. It's one of the better comic book sites out there, especially if you can dodge the pop-up ads and certain people who post stupid messages. They have every right to post them and I have every right not to read them.
Recommended Reading
Michelle Malkin on the Secret Service investigating editorial cartoonist Michael Ramirez.