Monthly Archives: March 2003

This news report from Reuters makes the same mistake that a lot of news reports make every year about the Oscars…

Maverick director Michael Moore, director of the documentary "Bowling for Columbine," issued the bluntest denunciation of the war against Iraq from the winner's podium before an estimated audience worldwide of 1 billion people.

No, they did not have a billion people watching…not even close to a billion people.  This is one of the great myths of the Academy Awards.  (Another is that everyone votes with one, easily-explainable viewpoint; i.e., "Everyone voted for Roman Polanski because they want him to return to Hollywood," or whatever.  You'll read lots of things like that in the days to come.)  But no, the billion people figure is ridiculous.

While I'm at it, three people have e-mailed me to ask where they could find the exact text of what Moore said.  Here it is…

Whoa.  On behalf of our producers Kathleen Glynn and Michael Donovan from Canada, I'd like to thank the Academy for this.  I have invited my fellow documentary nominees on the stage with us, and we would like to — they're here in solidarity with me because we like nonfiction.  We like nonfiction and we live in fictitious times.  We live in the time where we have fictitious election results that elects a fictitious president.  We live in a time where we have a man sending us to war for fictitious reasons.  Whether it's the fiction of duct tape or fiction of orange alerts we are against this war, Mr. Bush.  Shame on you, Mr. Bush, shame on you.  And any time you got the Pope and the Dixie Chicks against you, your time is up.  Thank you very much.

Also: I checked the end-credits of the Oscars and someone was listed as being in charge of the seat-fillers.  I saw enough empty seats to conclude that either they changed their mind at the last minute and didn't use them, at least to the extent they usually have, or whoever was in charge of dispatching them did a poor job.

Dave Barry, the syndicated humorist, was among the writers of Steve Martin's material this year.  Here's an article he wrote about the experience.

Here's something I'm amazed everyone in show business doesn't know: When you introduce someone and you mention their name, audiences often applaud.  If you say it in the middle of a sentence, you usually get interrupted by at least a partial ovation, and you muddy the moment.  Some folks out there won't know if they should stop clapping so they can hear the rest of your sentence, or if this is the wrong moment, so you get that kind of hesitant "we're not sure" clapping.  If you're introducing, say, Peter O'Toole, put his name at the end of a sentence, if not the entire speech.  Give the audience a clean applause cue.

One other observation and then I have actual work to do.  I thought the audience shots were very sloppy this year, especially during Mr.  Martin's monologue.  Now, getting shots of celebs in the audience is not as easy as one might think.  The movements of the cameras are very carefully planned and rehearsed so that every camera is in the right place at the right time, and so the cameraguys don't get into each others' shots.  Still, the director usually has the monologue a day or two in advance and since they know where all the biggies will be sitting, they can actually practice getting a camera positioned to shoot each star as he or she is getting mentioned.  This year, of course, there was some question as to whether certain people were going to show, but I'm wondering if there wasn't some other security-related tech problem at work.  The cuts to the folks in the audience all seemed unnatural, and not because 75% of them were to Martin Scorsese and Richard Gere.

Okay, back to a deadline…

The overnight ratings say that last night's Academy Awards ceremony drew an estimated viewership of 37 million people in the U.S. of A.

As of this morning, the Census Bureau's population clock says there are about 291,000,000 people in this country.  So something like 12% of Americans watched an American event featuring (mostly) American stars giving awards to (mostly) American movies.

Okay, so in what countries do we assume interest is so much higher that the telecast makes up the other 963 million viewers?

Just received this e-mail from a friend who attended the Academy Awards last night.  The friend is very much against George W. Bush and the current war, which makes his remarks more interesting…

I think people at the Oscars mostly stand and clap for age or courage.  They went nuts for the Polanski vote not because they approve or disapprove of his personal life but because it was a courageous film to make and I think they were also applauding themselves for the courage to vote for it.  The person next to me commented on the pressure she felt to vote for the popular choice (Marshall for Chicago) or the sentimental choice (Scorsese).  She didn't vote for Polanski but felt it showed integrity for the Academy to do so.

Everyone also clapped for Moore when his win was announced because whatever you think of his film (I didn't see it) it took courage to make and courage to fight for and his work does something which most documentaries cannot do which is to achieve some commercial success and draw in audiences who usually would not be caught dead at a documentary.  When Moore started his anti-Bush remarks, I was among those who booed not because I disagree with him (I think Bush is a war criminal) but because it was the wrong time and wrong place and it was a bad way to do that.  From where I sat, I think about a quarter booed but it was hard to tell and it wasn't clear to me what everyone was booing.

There were some people there who loved Bush who were booing because of that and some who like me hate him but booed because they thought Moore's timing was abominable.  There were also some people there who hate Bush and thought Moore was out of place but who didn't boo because they didn't want their boos to be interpreted as pro-Bush.  There were also some people who didn't boo because they just aren't the kind of people to boo at a public event ever and especially at the Oscars.  Several said it was just undignified for an audience (especially that audience) to act like they were at The Jerry Springer Show no matter what anyone said on that stage.

I don't think anyone can say for certain what percentage booed and I'm sure no one can say how much of that was because they hate Bush and how much was because Moore went against decorum.

It was also quickly forgotten.  On the way out, I heard more talk about Halle Berry's outfit than Moore's remarks.

This is ME again.  I agree that the booing was ambiguous in its meaning, and I think it's interesting to see folks this morning trying to "spin" it as proving whatever they want to prove.  Some say Moore was "booed off the stage," which clearly wasn't the case.  Others misquote him as saying the war was fictitious.  The most interesting, possibly-valid remark I'm seeing is along the lines of, "I thought it was a rude moment, but everyone who voted for Moore knew he'd do something like that.  And maybe there were some foreign viewers watching who were impressed that in the United States of America, we allow a man to get up in front of the world and say that our leaders are liars.  That's one of the big differences between us and Iraq."  That's kind of a nice thought — and if Mr. Moore had phrased his remarks better, it might make me wish the show really did have a billion viewers.

One more thought on the booing (or not) of Michael Moore's remarks.  The prevailing thought throughout Hollywood today seems to be that the booing heard on the telecast was more from stagehands than Academy members.  It's all a function of where the microphones are.  The ones over the audience are pretty far away from them.  If Jack Nicholson stood up and screamed in the middle of the ceremony, you probably wouldn't hear it too well at home — perhaps not at all.  But the stage crew, which tends more towards the conservative side, knows where the open mikes are.  Some of them, knowing what Moore was likely to say, may even have moved into position to register disapproval.  Apparently, a couple of them did give the filmmaker a pretty rough time backstage, as per Steve Martin's comments.  This may explain why Moore, in backstage interviews, said he only heard about five people booing.  They may not have been booing down front.

Dave Mackey corrects me: The female announcer last night was Randy (not Randi) Thomas, who is most-often heard as the spokesperson for "Hooked on Phonics" and on the Game Show Network program, Lingo.  She has her own website at www.randythomasvo.com.  Dave also reminds me that the year before they used Glenn Close and Donald Sutherland, the Oscars had Peter Coyote as their announcer.  I don't know why it pleases me so to see them return to non-celebs but it does.

Oscar thoughts at what I hope is past the mid-point: Could we please have even more awkward shots of Martin Scorsese in the audience?  They couldn't get a camera near Olivia DeHavilland or Mickey Rooney when they were mentioned but Scorsese is in every third cut.

Steve Martin's doing okay after a very up-and-down monologue.  A couple of moments there, he had that "I'm bombing and I know it" look.  Betcha if he ever gets asked again — and he probably will be — he's going to go out and do some stand-up appearances just before for batting practice.  Or refuse to do it at all during a war.

Told you Michael Moore would get a mixture of boos and applause.  The thing he perhaps didn't realize (or didn't care about) was that even some audience members who agree with his opinions would boo him for voicing them then and there.  And of course, we had to get two shots of Scorsese — one leading the standing ovation; the other, expressing his disapproval of, at the very least, Moore's manners.

Usually, the Oscars have tuxedoed extras there to fill empty seats when stars are out in the lobby or restroom.  This was the first time I recall seeing so many empty seats in audience shots, and I'm wondering if this isn't related to the heightened security procedures.  Looks like they did away with seat-fillers.

The CGI Mickey presenting one award was cute but if ever a character belonged in cel animation, it's The Mouse.  It's interesting how the almost-traditional "animated star giving out an Oscar" has progressed over the years as the technology has improved.  It used to be that he was awkwardly matted-in and since he was pre-recorded, the human had to open the envelope and read the winner.  A few years ago, they went to having the cartoon character open the envelope but he'd read the winner with the card covering his mouth so that the tech staff could dub in the proper pre-recorded line.  Then once we got to CGI, it evolved to them being able to film five different endlines, and the director would run the correct one.  I'm curious as to whether whoever did Mickey's voice (didn't sound like Wayne Allwine, but it might have been) was there tonight, and the whole thing was animated via live motion-capture technology.  Someone ought to do a big article somewhere researching the various ways these spots have evolved.

A job I'm glad I don't have: Deciding which members of the Hollywood community who died during the preceding year to leave out of the montage of the departed…and which one was the most beloved and should therefore close it.  I guess Billy Wilder was a good choice, though I'm surprised they didn't insert a couple of cutaways to Martin Scorsese.

And hey, isn't that Neil Ross announcing?  Catch you later at the post-Oscars party.

Michael Moore reminds me of something an ultra-conservative friend of mine once said about Rush Limbaugh: "Yeah, he's an enormous putz at times and says things that make me wince, but I still find him entertaining."  That still applies to Moore for me but I'm getting the feeling that prolonged exposure may change that.  Wish he'd been more subtle.  On the other hand, many of the press reports are describing it as a "violent attack" on George W. Bush.  Shouldn't we save that term for an action actually intended to inflict physical harm?  Describing it in the same terms as what's going on in Iraq at the moment seems rather silly.

So how did I do with my predictions?  By my tally, I got 14 out of 24, which amazes me since I didn't see one of these movies and was going wholly on industry buzz.  Here's my list again with the actual winners listed in boldface…

• Picture: Chicago
• Director: Rob Marshall, Chicago Roman Polanski, The Pianist
• Actor: Daniel Day-Lewis, Gangs of New York Adrien Brody, The Pianist
• Actress: Nicole Kidman, The Hours
• Supporting Actor: Chris Cooper, Adaptation
• Supporting Actress: Catherine Zeta-Jones, Chicago
• Screenplay (Original): My Big Fat Greek Wedding Talk To Her
• Screenplay (Adaptation): Chicago The Pianist
• Foreign Film: Nowhere in Africa
• Documentary (Short): Mighty Times: The Legacy of Rosa Parks The Twin Towers
• Documentary (Feature): Bowling for Columbine
• Short Subject: I'll Wait For The Next One… This Charming Man
• Animation (Short): The ChubbChubbs
• Animation (Feature): Spirited Away
• Cinematography: The Road to Perdition
• Art Direction: The Lord of the Rings Chicago
• Visual Effects: The Lord of the Rings
• Costume Design: Chicago
• Makeup: Frida
• Film Editing: Chicago
• Original Score: The Hours Frida
• Original Song: "I Move On," Chicago "Lose Yourself," 8 Miles
• Sound Design: The Lord of the Rings Chicago
• Sound Editing: The Lord of the Rings

I think I called the other things okay.  The show was supposed to run three hours but it clocked in a little over three and a half.  (Playing it safe, I set my TiVo for 4 and change.  Matter of fact, it's still recording.)  I forgot one other "always happens" prediction I was going to make.  There's always one winner who is foreign and whose attempts to thank everyone in English come across as charming and memorable.

And I guess there's always the one category where everyone was absolutely sure that So-and-so was certain to win, but the Oscar went to someone else.  Roman Polanski for The Pianist?  Okay.  Everyone said it would be Rob Marshall and, if not, Scorsese.  This will probably be interpreted as a Harvey Weinstein backlash.

Sure glad the producer of Chicago mentioned Fosse.

Yes, that was indeed Neil Ross serving as the male announcer.  (The lady was Randi Thomas.)  I am delighted, not only because Neil is a friend and colleague but because he and Ms. Thomas are real announcers.  Last year, the Oscars went for celebrities (Glenn Close and Donald Sutherland, as I recall) instead of picking someone who has dedicated their career to the form.  I thought that was a bit of a slight to an important Hollywood craft.

You've been hearing Neil for years in cartoons, commercials, promos (he's the voice of the Game Show Network) and he really does it all as well as it can be done.  If you want to hear him in action, his demo can be accessed online over at his website.

There's a new hotel in Vegas called The Cannery Casino.  I haven't been there yet but I have been to their website.  If you hate sites that play music, stay away.  Theirs plays a catchy theme song that's been running through my head for a couple of days now.  So only go there if you want to have a catchy theme song run through your head for days.

The VH-1 series Where Are They Now? is covering actors who have played super-heroes. including our pal Judy Strangis.  It's the episode that airs on Monday and several other times in the coming week.  Consult, as the saying goes, your local listing.

Here's this week's plug for my forthcoming second volume of old columns about the comic book industry.  It has the shocking (to some) title of…

To save you the trouble of watching the Academy Awards to find out who won, here's the list in advance.  If they should happen to announce any different winners during the broadcast, you'll know that someone at Price-Waterhouse got paid off.  Because these are the real winners…

• Picture: Chicago
• Director: Rob Marshall, Chicago
• Actor: Daniel Day-Lewis, Gangs of New York
• Actress: Nicole Kidman, The Hours
• Supporting Actor: Chris Cooper, Adaptation
• Supporting Actress: Catherine Zeta-Jones, Chicago
• Screenplay (Original): My Big Fat Greek Wedding
• Screenplay (Adaptation): Chicago
• Foreign Film: Nowhere in Africa
• Documentary (Short): Mighty Times: The Legacy of Rosa Parks
• Documentary (Feature): Bowling for Columbine
• Short Subject: I'll Wait For The Next One…
• Animation (Short): The ChubbChubbs
• Animation (Feature): Spirited Away
• Cinematography: The Road to Perdition
• Art Direction: The Lord of the Rings
• Visual Effects: The Lord of the Rings
• Costume Design: Chicago
• Makeup: Frida
• Film Editing: Chicago
• Original Score: The Hours
• Original Song: "I Move On," Chicago
• Sound Design: The Lord of the Rings
• Sound Editing: The Lord of the Rings

I will also fearlessly predict that the show will run at least 30 minutes over its announced time; that if and when Michael Moore wins, he'll say something that will draw a huge mixture of boos and cheers; that at least one other winner will use his time to complain about the fact that he is not allowed to make a political statement; that Steve Martin will do a fine, restrained job as host; and that everyone will say that this was the Worst Oscar Ceremony ever.  But then they always say that.

Oh — and one more: There will be at least one really, really tacky speech by a presenter or recipient which will discuss courage in some way that equates that shown by our men and women who've gone off to war with the courage of an actor who takes on an unglamorous role.

I have nothing to add about what's going on in Iraq except to say that I think there's a lot of self-deception going on among Americans who (a) think we're somehow getting even for 9/11 and (b) it doesn't matter if other countries think the U.S. is ruthless and imperialistic so long as they fear us.  I think they're wrong on both counts, but a lot of people seem to love the notion that their country is beating up on a bad guy, and they don't want even a drop of rain to fall on that parade.  When the Victory Celebrations begin, we're going to see a lot of Americans called traitors and Saddam-lovers for suggesting that there are any possible downsides to what has gone on.  Let's hope there aren't any.  I'm not as sure as they're all going to be.

Andy Ihnatko has his annual Oscar picks up.  Go there, read his explanations of who should win and why they will or won't.  Since I've already posted the winners, we all know he's wrong about a couple of them…but he's still a wise, perceptive commentator.

As I listen to all the reporters and pundits telling us what's going on with this war, I keep waiting for one to come up with a quick, pithy summary of it all — that one line that summarizes it all, that puts it all in perspective.  Well, it took a while but I finally heard one one…not from Wolf or Dan or Brit, but from Groucho.  Click below to hear what I think Mr. Marx might say about what's going on.  (Thanks to Gordon Kent, who says he got it from Kurt Weldon.  Whoever noticed it, it's brilliant.)

Still busy, but I wanted to post a link to this article over at a terrific website called Spinsanity.  It lists myths, misconceptions and some outright lies relating to the war on Iraq, and may come in handy for folks who want to know the truth of what's going on.  Sadly, that doesn't seem to be everyone.

Okay.  Back to being busy…

Once again, I have posted a picture of a can of Campbell's Cream of Mushroom Soup, the traditional* signal that the proprietor of a website is too busy to update it.  In this case, it also means that said proprietor may be too busy to respond to all but the most vital e-mails for a few days.  But things change, life goes on (unless you live in Baghdad) and schedules free up.  When mine does, I'll be back to regular Internet participation.  And thanks to all of you who sent money just because I posted a picture of Julie Newmar.

*Well, at least it's a tradition I'm trying to start.  All traditions have to begin somewhere.

Comic book art is usually drawn in pencil by one guy and then, after the page is lettered, the work is "inked" by another.  The inker interprets and embellishes…and since it's his linework that gets reproduced in the finished publication, he can go a long way towards improving or ruining or just preserving what the pencil artist did.  Throughout his career, the late, great Jack Kirby had his penciled pages inked by a wide range of great talents and a few of the lesser variety.  The efforts of one inker, Vince Colletta, remain especially controversial, long after the work was done and both men have passed on.

To be fair, Colletta has his fans and his work was loved by many readers of the day.  But some of the artists whose work he inked felt he had minimal talent and all felt he expended minimal effort.  (Again, to be fair, he was often paid minimal money — but so were a lot of guys who put in more time.)

One of the big complaints about Colletta was that he would simply leave things out.  The panel above, which was scanned from a piece of Kirby/Colletta original art for Fantastic Four #40, gives us an example.  If you click on it and enlarge the image, you'll see that Jack drew in a figure of Mr. Fantastic that Vince and/or his staff of lowly-paid assistants just ignored.  I've occasionally seen inkers do this for creative reasons because they felt it improved the composition, but Colletta tended to decide this any time a page took him more than about 90 minutes.

Anyway, folks sometimes ask me why so many artists disliked Colletta's inking and there's one of the reasons.  Thanks to Tom Field for the scan, and to Glen Gold who first noticed this omission.

I made the mistake of driving through Hollywood and Highland this afternoon and found myself smack-dab in the middle of heightened security measures for the upcoming Academy Awards.  I warn all my friends in L.A. to steer clear of the area until the Oscars have come and gone.  (By the way: A friend of mine who's going to the ceremony said, "Never mind the threat of terrorism.  I'm just hoping they can protect me from Joan Rivers.")

Every year, the Comic-Con International in San Diego fills every hotel room, motel room, suite, lodge, hostel and pup-tent for miles around.  This year will surely be no exception so if you're going, book now.  You can do so online at the convention website, www.comic-con.org — but hurry.  Rooms are disappearing even as you read this.