Monthly Archives: January 2003

David Feldman points out to me that dozens of other books at Amazon are currently listed as, "This title will be released on December 31, 1969."  This pisses me off.  Not only are they copying my marketing strategy but, when 12/31/69 rolls around and all our books come out at the same time…

Mr. Feldman, by the way, is the author of the wonderful "Imponderables" series of books.  In each, he asks questions that probably never occurred to you but which cause you to say, "Hey, why is that?"  And then — even better — he answers them for you.  You can find out more about this over at his site, which I don't have to tell you but I will is www.imponderables.com.  (Hey, Dave — how come I keep hearing that people who need to reach me on real business couldn't locate my e-mail address…but hundreds of nephews of wealthy Nigerian refugees have no trouble finding it?)

The Daily Howler is one of my favorite websites.  Not quite every day, Bob Somerby points out some particular ineptness or dishonesty in the news.  Today's is a particularly bold, funny example.

Better hurry!   Amazon has changed the listing for my new book, Mad Art, from "Not yet published" to "This title will be released on December 31, 1969.  You may order it now and we will ship it to you when it arrives."

Apparently, the news that you have a negative 12,416 days to wait has had a good impact on sales.  In the past 24 hours, I've vaulted into 67,739th place in their sales ranking, bounding past another 8,000 books.  (In the meantime, Comic Books and Other Necessities of Life has dropped from #89,480 to #95,533, again proving that the more available an Evanier book seems to be, the worse it does.)

In the meantime, Barnes and Noble says Mad Art came out in October of last year.  This worries me.  Even though they claim it's out of stock, the mere suggestion that it may actually have been published is likely to scare off buyers.

As mentioned earlier on this site, Stan Freberg and his lovely spouse Hunter will be presenting "An Evening With Stan Freberg" from January 28 through February 1 at Feinstein's at the Regency, a rather swank Manhattan nitery.  Last night and the night before, Stan and Hunter "road-tested" the show with invitational performances up at the Magic Castle.  Animation expert Jerry Beck went to Tuesday night's show and his report is posted here.  As you can see, he says it ran two and a half hours and left the audience wanting more.  I went Wednesday evening and took in the "cut down" version which was closer to 90 minutes.  So we really left wanting more.

Stan sings — in surprisingly good voice — and tells wonderful anecdotes about his days as a cartoon voice actor and on Time for Beany.  He recreates several of his hit comedy records, in some cases playing all the roles, including those originally done by Peter Leeds, Daws Butler and even June Foray.  He shows TV commercials he produced and tells wonderful stories about their invention.  If you're anywhere near New York and can make it, you'll have a wonderful time, spending an hour or two with a brilliant man.  The number to call for reservations at Feinstein's is (212) 339-4095, and I guess I should warn you that the place is small and the prices are not.  But, hey.  It's Stan Freberg.

I don't understand this at all…and don't bother trying to explain it to me because I probably won't understand your explanation.  Less than two weeks ago, my book — Comic Books and Other Necessities of Life — was #1,242,840 in the sales ranking at Amazon, and they had two copies left.  At this moment, the book is #89,480.  That's a hell of a jump.  I leapfrogged ahead of more than a million other books.  How many copies can they have sold in that time?

I can look up how many were purchased by folks who went there via the links on this site, and it tells me that, since 12/28/02, they sold a grand total of three copies that way.  I kinda doubt there was a huge run on it by people who didn't go there via my links…but who knows?

In the meantime, they still say Mad Art is not yet published and it's at #75,119.  This means I'm doing better with the book that's not out yet than I am with the one you can actually buy.  I wonder how well a book by me would sell if we promised to never publish it.  Stephen King, watch your ass.

I have it on reliable authority that my new book, Mad Art, is in stock at Amazon.Com, even if their website still says it's "not yet published."  That will change in a day or so, I am told.  You can order this splendid volume — a look at all the major artists who've contributed to a half-century of MAD Magazine — by clicking on these underlined words.  If you're thinking of ordering Ann Coulter's new book instead, remember: Mine has a lot more pictures and is almost as funny.

• Dead on the Money by by Richard Cohen, Washington Post
• Fool Me Twice by William Saletan, Slate

We have occasionally plugged chanteuse extraordinaire Shelly Goldstein, who's been singing at the finer clubs in Los Angeles.  Next week, as Playbill reports here, she takes London by storm.

Daniel Frank (aka Captain Spaulding) sends this link to an article that strives to explain the mysterious sales rankings over at Amazon-dot-com.  And I was right: I still don't understand it.

Back in 1984, an unemployed air conditioning repairman and ice cream truck driver named Michael Larson went on the CBS daytime game show, Press Your Luck.  By studying and figuring out the patterns of the show's game board, he managed to clean them out of a whopping $110,237.  The competition ran so long, it had to be broken up and aired over two days (the only time that happened on that program) and yielded one of the most memorable occurrences in game show history.  Host Peter Tomarken (pictured above) was as astonished as anyone.

CBS was disgusted and/or embarrassed over the incident.  They downplayed the whole extravaganza and declined to rerun it.  Game Show Network has been reairing old Press Your Lucks but, though a friend over there assured me they would soon air Mr. Larson's moment of triumph, they've been skipping over those shows.  Finally though, you'll get to see them March 16 when GSN debuts a two-hour documentary on the incident, which will include both episodes along with interviews with folks involved in the show.  Here's a link to an article with more details.

Think you have it tough?   Check out this article in The New York Times (part one of three) on employees at a foundry in Texas, and what they must endure: Barbaric working conditions, killer hours and, of course, the occasional death or amputation.  You'd like to believe this kind of thing doesn't exist any longer in this country, so it's pretty jarring to learn that it does.

Your obedient webmaster (i.e., me) will be a guest this coming Sunday, January 12 on The Denton Randall Show, which broadcasts on WHAS radio in Louisville, KY. I'm supposed to be on shortly after it starts at 1 PM EST, talking about Mad Art, my new book on the artists of MAD Magazine. The show doesn't seem to be available online, so you all have about five days to crate up all your belongings and move to Louisville.

• Vice Grip by Joshua Micah Marshall, Washington Monthly
• An Irrelevant Proposal by Paul Krugman, New York Times
• It's About Keeping Promises by Oliver North, Washington Times
• Age Before Booty by William Saletan, Slate
• How a Republican Desegregated the South's Schools by George P. Shultz, New York Times

A settlement has been reached in a lawsuit brought by shareholders in Stan Lee Media. Here are the details. You'll notice there's no mention of my stock options.

I agree with almost every word of this article by Joe Bob Briggs.  It's about those occasional news stories about how teens are increasingly turning to virginity and sexual abstinence.  I concur with Joe Bob that those reports are full of swamp gas.  When I was in school, we kept being asked to fill out these anonymous polls on whether we were having sex and, if so, how much.  Since there was no place on the form to check off "none of your damn business," we all lied.  Most of the kids who were having sex said they weren't, just in case the whole thing was a trap to figure out who was doing it and to inform their parents.  Most of the kids who weren't having sex said they were, just because it felt good to pretend.  And some weren't sure how to equate their limited, back-seat fondling to the definitions of sex on the questionnaires, so they just put down anything.  I don't believe any of these surveys.  I don't believe anything anyone tells me about their sexual experiences unless they're available on DVD.

This is kinda funny.  I was just over at www.amazingkreskin.com — and you don't have to be The Amazing Kreskin to guess that that's the official website of The Amazing Kreskin.  It still displays his fearless predictions for 2002, such as "If [Gary] Condit chooses to run for re-election, he will win."

There are clippings and current U.F.O. predictions and all sorts of nonsense, and I also love Kreskin's Photo Gallery in which "the bona fide mentalist" cannot seem to even identify many of the people with him in the photographs.  There's a picture of Kreskin with George Kirby, but no one seems to have been able to remember George's name, so the caption is "Kreskin with famous impressionist."  There's another one of him with "one of New York's leading weathermen" and one of him with "an actor from Law and Order" but he couldn't divine the names of these people.  But the real treat is this announcement…

I have always used my mental abilities to predict specific events in other people's lives and while looking into the minds of others I have often discovered things that I would rather not have seen.  At first, this bizarre twist to my chosen profession took me by surprise, but as I grew accustomed to it I learned how to ignore the bad and concentrate on the good.  Now for my latest stunt, I have set all fear of my own mortality aside, turned my perception on myself, and decided to share my death with the world before it even happens.

He has not yet revealed the details of how he is going to share his death with us.  But judging from his list of upcoming appearances, it probably involves playing a dwindling string of low-profile benefits and out-of-the-way showrooms.