Outta The Biz

I received a call this evening from a friend of mine who used to write comic books. As you may know, the business has undergone some downsizing (to put it mildly) and a lot of folks who used to get all the work they wanted have found themselves unable to get any sort of job in comics. The friend who called this evening is so far out of the industry, he isn't even suing Todd McFarlane.

At first, he says, he felt great anger and frustration, and had no idea what he could do in lieu of writing comics. But he said to tell everyone who reads my site that once he did find something, life got better in a hurry. "The trick was to turn loose of comics and burn that emotional bridge. Once I managed that, I was able to get a new and better career going."

So consider yourself told.

Another Great Show Biz Anecdote!

George S. Kaufman wrote or co-wrote a staggering number of successful plays. After almost every one, some failed playwright would crawl out of the woodwork and sue Kaufman for plagiarism, charging that somehow Kaufman had seen and purloined their unproduced work.

In each case, the claimant was so lacking in funds that Kaufman could have had his lawyer maneuver to run up the court costs, thereby forcing the plaintiff to drop the suit for lack of funds. This, Kaufman refused to do. He knew he was innocent and wanted to have a court say so. So no such tricks were employed and every time he went to court, he won on the merits of his case.

But of course, he was annoyed at having to go through the suits at all, and his annoyance led to a fantasy. It was to invite all the litigants to a gourmet dinner. Around a huge table, he would serve them fine food and fine wine. Then, when the dishes were cleared away, he would stand and proclaim, "I asked you all here tonight because I would like to ask each of you a question."

He would point to the first person and ask, "You say you wrote Of Thee I Sing. What else have you written?"

Then he'd look at the second and ask, "You say you wrote The Man Who Came to Dinner. What else have you written?"

Then the third: "You say you wrote Stage Door. What else have you written?"

And on and on around the table…

Beach Bum

The photo above shows you what our old pal Garfield the Cat's been up to, lately.  He's been lounging on the beach at Cannes, tanning his stripes and waiting for lasagna to wash up on shore.  I guess when you have that kind of money, you can take it easy.  If he's waiting for Edy Williams though, he's going to have a long wait.  She doesn't turn up at Cannes any more.

Actually, this picture appeared on the front page of today's Hollywood Reporter with the following caption:

Comic strip star 'Garfield' poses for photographers for the launch of a television special Garfield 25th Anniversary, an animated series Garfield & Friends and Garfield primetime specials, during the MIPCOM 2002 (International Film and Programme market for TV, video, cable and satellite), Monday Oct. 7, 2002, in Cannes, southeastern France.

This has prompted a whole mess of e-mailed questions to me.  The answers to these questions are (a) yes, I'm involved with these new projects and (b) it's way too early to talk about when they'll appear or who else will be involved.  The minute either of these things changes, I'll post something here.

Today's Political Comment

Could Bill Simon possibly be doing a worse job as a gubernatorial candidate?  The latest is that he accused his opponent, incumbent Gray Davis, of accepting a campaign contribution in his government office, which is illegal.  To "substantiate" this, Simon released a photo taken of Davis receiving the check and…oops.  Turns out, it was easily proven that the photo wasn't taken where Simon said it was taken.  He was reduced to saying, "Whether or not it's the lieutenant governor's office, it may or may not be.  That can be determined. That's not my job to determine that."  This came a day after he said the picture was taken in the lieutenant governor's office and therefore "proved wrongdoing."

I've long had a pretty low opinion of Gray Davis and was prepared to vote for just about anybody else.  But the Blooper Reel that passes for Simon's campaign has me ready to punch the chad next to Davis's name.  Maybe it's not too late for the Republicans to get Simon out of the race and substitute Robert Torricelli…

More Groo Goodies

While we're at it: Dark Horse has released the Groo PVC set — a nice, long box that contains seven (7) little statuettes of characters from that fabulous funnybook.  I received mine yesterday and they're quite delightful.  Sergio did the designs, though someone else (whose identity unknown to us) did the sculptures and if you love or even tolerate the comic, you probably can't live without a set of these.  Some of us need two: One to display, one to fondle.  You can get a set or two from a fine company called Things From Another World.  Here's a link to the page of their website where you can see the whole magilla and place an order.  I'm sure you all want to do this immediately.

Must See Lee T.V.

If you get The Biography Channel on your TV (unlikely but possible), the following may be of interest to you.  October 18, 19 and 21, they're rerunning the Biography episode that tells about Marvel Comics' Stan Lee.  I am not mentioning this because I am among the folks interviewed in it.  I am mentioning it because it's a nice portrait of Stan Lee.  If you don't get the Biography Channel, ignore this item.

Would you like a nice Groo screen saver for your computer?  They have one (in both Windows and Mac versions) over at the website for Dark Horse Comics.  Click here to go get one.

Hail Victoria!

While the hit counter on this site was lapping a quarter-million, my friend Carolyn and I were visiting Victoria, British Columbia, tooling around in the harbor in a little ferry boat like the one above  The skipper (that's what you're supposed to call him) takes you around, pointing out items of interest.  Then he lets you out for a while on a dock where you can eat great fish-and-chips while you feed seals.  Enormous fun.

We were up there so I could sign comics at the Victoria Comic, Movie & VideoFest 2002, a friendly little convention in a friendly little city.  The convention organizer, Bill Code, couldn't do enough for us, getting us chauffeured about, forcing expense money on us, and so on.  We stayed in a very nice room in a Traveller's Inn, a chain of hotels in Victoria that are ubiquitous in their outlets and advertising.  As two separate grumbling cab drivers explained to us, this one company bought up half the hotels in town and — here's the reason for the grumbling — renamed them all "Traveller's Inn."  This has led to no end of confusion, such as when someone says, "Take me to the Traveller's Inn on Douglas."  There are several on Douglas Street, including one that is officially titled "Traveller's Inn Douglas Street," and the one we stayed in, which was on Douglas but wasn't "Traveller's Inn Douglas Street."  In fact, our Traveller's Inn on Douglas had a very nice view of another Traveller's Inn on Douglas Street, which also wasn't "Traveller's Inn Douglas Street."

So that's why the cab drivers are grumbling.

I also found it funny that Traveller's Inn advertises everywhere.  They have an ad on every third page of the Victoria Yellow Pages, regardless of heading.  So under "Pest Control," there's an ad for Traveller's Inn, under "Mausoleums," there's an ad for Traveller's Inn, under "Firewood," you get the concept…

Best part of the convention was spending a little quality time with the other guests, who included three of the best artists in and around the comic book field — Steve Lieber, Ken Steacy and Mike Kaluta.  Steve, I really didn't know as a person before; only as a very dedicated, talented illustrator.  A graduate of the Joe Kubert School, Steve has worked for DC and Marvel, but is best represented by Whiteout (from Oni Press) and the small-press Me and Edith Head.  You can find out more about Steve over at this website.  You can even order those books from him, which you really ought to do.

By the way: I'll tell you how small Victoria is.  Steve left for the airport about four hours before Carolyn and I did, but we got the same cab driver.  The driver was telling us how, earlier in the day, he'd had this comic artist named Steve Lieber in his cab…and he said, "That guy's a real comic artist.  Not one of those kids who works on a computer.  He does it the real way.  On paper."

Not much more to say about the trip, other than that Alaska Airlines performed flawlessly, if you can overlook meals that really warrant the little printed prayer that accompanies each one.  And that we want to go back to Victoria real soon…if not sooner.

A.W.O.L.

Sorry, I've been away for a few days, having a wonderful time in the bee-yootiful city of Victoria, British Columbia.  Only problem: The modem line at the hotel didn't work, so I couldn't update this site or tend to e-mail.  I'll be doing both in the next day or so.

Big Dog Speaks!

Bill Clinton gave a speech the other day at the Labor Party's annual conference in Great Britain and was quite the sensation.  After reading the text online (which you can do by clicking here), I was curious to hear how he delivered the first part.  So I logged over to the C-SPAN site, found an online video feed…and got hooked.  Never mind the politics, some of which I agree with, some of which I don't.  Never mind the self-serving stuff that every politician does.  The man is such a good speaker that I wound up watching the whole thing…admittedly, while doing other things on the computer.  It's a little under an hour and if you want to view at least the beginning, click here (RealPlayer required) — and do so soon because C-SPAN doesn't keep this stuff online forever.

Screenplay Credits

The Writers Guild is currently engaged in one of its semi-annual screaming matches over whether to amend the credits manual.  Long ago, the WGA assumed the right of final determination over who gets to have their name come after the words, "Written by…" on a movie.  This was a good thing since too many screenplays wound up being credited to a star or a producer or a studio executive's nephew who didn't write a consonant.  (Mae West used to have it in her contract that she would be credited as the writer of her movies, regardless of who actually filled the pages.  There were other, less blatant but still unfair applications.)

The WGA established strict rules as to how much you must have contributed to a screenplay in order to get your name on the movie.  These rules have always been a source of contention but lately, with Hollywood on a kick of having 93 people work on every script and end-credits that run longer than some movies, the sore feelings have gotten exponentially sorer.  The guidelines favor the original writer, even when little or nothing he wrote makes it to the screen, and prevent any more than (usually) three writers from receiving screen credit.

As per usual for WGA brawls, emotions are running high and a lot of writers are accusing one another of unconscionable greed and un-writerlike motives.  Also as per usual, both sides have some valid points.  One group argues that it demeans the role of the writer to put a laundry list of authors on-screen; that saying "Fifteen people wrote this movie" is tantamount to saying nobody wrote it and certainly not the first guy, who probably did most of the heavy lifting.  Against that, another faction argues that it demeans the role of the writer for someone to make a large contribution to a script and not receive any credit at all.  If the Caterer's Assistant gets a credit and someone who wrote several key scenes doesn't, that doesn't say much about the importance of the writer.  Or of the believability of screen credits.

I think both sides are at least partly in the right.  The trouble is they're working towards separate goals.  You can configure the rules so that their main goal is to reflect the reality, whatever it is.  That means if 22 guys worked on a script, you put 22 names on the screen in some fashion.  Or you can hold, as some do, that it's desirable to discourage producers from hiring 22 guys; that they shouldn't be so hasty about firing one author and bringing in the next.  Awarding all or most of the credit to the first guy might nudge the business towards that attitude.

As I said, there's a lot of yelling and screaming about this, in part because loads of money is involved.  A movie earns its credited writers all sorts of residuals and home video fees.  If you write a movie and it's rewritten, you would not only lose prestige if the rewriter gets screen credit, you could lose a hell of a lot of cash.

What we have in the current credits manual creates, I believe, a lot of problems.  Credits often do not denote who really did what, and dishonesty is never the best policy.  It also does cause some to assume that the guy who got his name on the movie is just the guy who got his name on the movie, and not necessarily the person whose work we're seeing.  At the same time, I think it's Head-in-the-Sand Time to not admit that restricting the number of screen credits has utterly failed to stop producers from calling in a legion of rewriters.  Producers are going to hire as many of us as they want and nothing will stop this, other than the WGA passing and enforcing a rule that forbids rewrites.  The majority of the Guild membership would never forego the income and allow such a rule, let alone the studios.

So am I therefore on the side of those who want to revise the WGA Credits Manual to allow more "reality?"  To make it easier for production executives, directors, stars and other rewriters to get their names on a movie with which they fiddle?  No, I don't think I'm in favor of that, either. I believe that we presently have a flawed system which can only grow more flawed via repair.

As with the last time credit manual revisions were proposed — a stormy, angry vote that went down to overwhelming defeat — the changes being proposed are relatively minor and are barely a baby step to addressing the problems.  The main amendment presently before us hinges on the dubious (I think) concept of assessing the percentage that a given writer contributes to a script.  Presently, for a production executive to receive credit on a script he or she rewrote, that exec has to have written more than 50% of what gets on the screen.  The proposal now before us would lower that to the same standard as any participating writer, which is one third.

Those numbers are discussed as if someone could just feed a script into a calculator, punch two buttons and arrive at a firm percentage.  This is ridiculous.  You can study different drafts of a script and say that Writer A wrote 40% of the final version but that's going to be a very approximate number.  A writer's contribution is just too subjective, too open to different weighings.  If you write an unfilmable 300 page screenplay and I go in and, without adding a word, rearrange all the scenes and chop it down to a filmable 105 pages, what is the exact percentage of my contribution as a writer?  If I write a murder mystery that doesn't make a lot of sense and you come in and author two key scenes that clarify everything and change whodunnit, what is the percentage of your contribution?

Suppose someone writes a movie for Eddie Murphy to star in and Eddie hates all the dialogue and you're called in to rewrite it.  You paraphrase everything and then, when it gets before the cameras, Eddie starts ad-libbing and he further paraphrases everything.  What is the precise percentage of your contribution to the finished film?  (Keep in mind that arbitrations are based wholly on what's committed to paper, so what Eddie does is not considered writing.  What you did is, even though little of what you did got on screen.)

This is all so arguable that it's not worth fiddling with.  Why substitute one set of vague numbers for another?  It is certainly not worth the level of rage we had the last time this kind of proposal was made.  I am all for protecting the credit of the first writer, especially when we're dealing with his or her original idea.  I am all for making it difficult for production execs, stars, rewriters and especially directors to claim they wrote or co-wrote the movie.  On the other hand, there are cases where the film that gets made is the one the rewriters wrote and, for good or ill, it bears little resemblance to anything the first scribe envisioned.  In those cases, I think it's unfair to history — let alone, the individuals involved — to give all or most of the credit to Writer #1.

Those who think our system of credits is imperfect are right.  But that's not because of the difference between someone writing 33% of a movie and someone writing 50%.  It's because weighing the respective contributions of several writers to a collaborative project is an impossible judgment that can only ever be approximately correct.  And it's because, as a Guild, we can't decide if the goal of screen credits should be to reflect who actually writes the movie or to try and influence who actually writes the movie.

If the latter, there might be merit in a much talked-about suggestion, which is to allow participating rewriters to receive some acknowledgement in a film's end credits — like, say, "Additional Dialogue by…"  This idea is not part of the current proposal.  I need to hear more debate on that one before making up my mind, if and when that's ever actually proposed.

But with regard to the current proposals, changing arbitrary percentages is silly.  Given that the last thing the Writers Guild needs is more of its members yelling at each other, I think we ought to accept the current credits manual, flaws and all, and leave it alone.

And by the way, this entire article was written by one person.

The Smallest Detail

I just received the following Spam-style message from the Playboy Magazine people…

Women notice everything about a potential partner. That's why the smallest detail can mean the difference between taking her home and sleeping alone!  At the Playboy Store, we specialize in the little things that can help you land the woman of your dreams! Click on the link below to see the sexy accessory you can get for free!

The "sexy accessory you can get for free" turns out to be a keychain with a tiny reproduction of an old Playboy cover.  This apparently is one of the "smallest details" that will cause a woman who otherwise had no intention of going home with you to drag you into bed and rip the Jockey shorts from your torso with her teeth.  You can also achieve the same effect with the Playboy Metal Flask, the Playboy Metal Belt Buckle, and the Playboy Money Clip.  The Playboy Money Clip probably works best when it has several hundred-dollar bills in it.

These are the kind of products where, if you think they'll solve your problem, that's your problem.

Political Stuff

My e-mail inbox contains a number of messages from folks explaining why they think it would have been less (small "d") democratic for Torricelli to resign his office, thereby allowing the election to be postponed.  Okay, yes, I agree.  I don't like that concept much, either.  But right now, no one anywhere has a dram of respect for the guy.  Had he done what I suggested, might you not think that maybe, for once in his life, he had put his own benefit in second-position for a moment?  I'm just wondering what part of his non-existent dignity he thought he was protecting by not taking one for his party.

We recommend regular visits to Spinsanity, a common-sense website that points out errors and distortions by public figures and the press.  Some observers seem to feel the site has a liberal slant but even if that's so, they're willing to sometimes point out when liberals misbehave.  I don't see many (any?) conservative sites that will ever fault a conservative for anything besides not being conservative enough.  The current Spinsanity piece on Al Gore strikes me as even-handed, and the kind of thing I wish more pundits would do.

Today's Political Thought

A recurring complaint in my political commentaries here is that our "leaders" (note the quotes) are way too willing to place politics over principles, forgiving behavior they would condemn as illegal and immoral in the opposition party.  A good example is the recent bait-and-switch, bringing in Frank Lautenberg to run as the Democratic nominee in New Jersey.  The Democrats defending it today remind me of the Republicans who argued that Bush won Florida fair-and-square.  I not only don't believe the tactics were Kosher, I don't believe (in either case), the folks who have so argued really, deep down, believe it.

Oddly, if I understand the law correctly, there was a way to get Robert Torricelli off the ballot that would have been completely, by-the-book legal and more injurious to the Republicans.  That would have been if Torricelli had resigned, thereby allowing the Democratic governor of New Jersey to cancel the election for that slot and appoint an interim senator.  Unfortunately, Torricelli refused to resign, reportedly saying that was just too much of a humiliation.

Regardless of whether you're a Democrat or Republican, wouldn't you have at least a slightly higher opinion of Bob Torricelli if he had resigned?  Suppose he'd come out and said, "I feel so strongly about saving the Senate from G.O.P. control that I have to do whatever I can to make that happen.  Also, it will be completely legal this way and, since Republicans kept calling on me to resign, it should make them happy, too."  Whether you wanted him to help his party or not, I'll bet you'd have respected the man a wee bit more if he'd done that.

But he didn't because it would have been too "humiliating."  I guess I'll never understand politicians.

Bad Indicator

Of all the indicators that the "Bush Economy" is heading down the commode, this is the most serious: Producers have just announced a film remake of The Six Million Dollar Man, only now it's going to be The Six Billion Dollar Man.  Alan Greenspan has a lot to answer for.

The Latest…

Consider this a blanket recommendation of all the magazines put out by TwoMorrows Publishing (issuers of my own tome, advertised at the bottom of this page).  But I especially enjoy The Jack Kirby Collector, Comic Book Artist and Alter Ego…and I really enjoyed the latest Alter Ego.  One side has an in-depth look at the great artist Lou Fine.  The other has lotsa stuff by and about one of my favorite comic book writers (and a helluva nice guy), Arnold Drake.  Drake was the co-creator/writer of Deadman and The Doom Patrol, to name but a small chunk of his fine work.  He always struck me as one of those writers who had a lot more to offer comics than comics had to offer him.

Political stuff: This column by David S. Broder is worth a look but if you don't have time to click that link, I'll summarize: Says he, George W. is determined to launch a war and topple Hussein, and the White House can't be bothered to give us a coherent, consistent explanation as to why this is necessary or justified.