Monthly Archives: April 2002

Anyone watching the new format on Crossfire on CNN?  They've completed the process of turning it into Wrestlemania, adding in a live audience and two new hosts on the left.  They even have a bell that rings to signal the end of rounds.  James "Ragin' Cajun" Carville is now the liberal main man but most of the heavy lifting so far seems to be delegated to Paul Begala, who comes armed with a good sense of Theatre and a raft of cheap shots about George W. Bush's military record and electoral legitimacy.  They're of a piece with all the cheap shots about Clinton's genitalia we've endured for eight years and I don't much like them (the ones about Bush or Clinton).  Still, I have to admit that there's a certain fun in seeing Bob Novak getting bitch-slapped, time and again, by the same kind of thing he and his fellow Republicans have done for years to Democrats.

The problem with a show like this, of course, is that it really is Wrestling.  One guy always has to take the liberal position; the other has to defend the conservative viewpoint, no matter what.  Show me a man who consistently takes the liberal or conservative side on every issue and I'll show you someone who hasn't thought things through very far…or maybe, as in this case, doesn't really believe in the positions he defends to the death.  In his newspaper columns (like this one), Novak has been critical of a number of actions, or lack of action, on the part of the Bush Administration.  But put him in the Crossfire format and he has to defend Bush about everything and act like all criticisms are childish nonsense.  Same with the guys on the other side of the table.  Ultimately, you get the feeling any of them could easily switch chairs if the money's right.  And may.

Oh, well.  At least, the new Crossfire gives us a choice.  We can watch it and see the liberal mop the floor with the conservative.  Or we can switch over to Hannity and Colmes on Fox and see the conservative mop the floor with the liberal.  Maybe one of these days, some network will put on a show where people discuss issues from different viewpoints.

Little trivia treasures continue to turn up on Game Show Network's Black and White Overnight.  The other morn, they aired an I've Got A Secret from 1959 that I recall seeing when it first aired.  I would have been seven at the time but my little feat of recollection is nothing compared to one of the guests on that broadcast.  His name was Jack Chambers and his secret was that he'd memorized that day's edition of The New York Herald-Tribune.  Before the show, he'd absorbed all the news stories and, after his secret was revealed, the panel grilled him on random articles.  He couldn't recite pieces verbatim but he had almost all the details.  There was, for instance, a news story about a boating accident that had claimed a dozen lives and he was able to recall the names and ages of the victims.  He'd also memorized the crossword puzzle.

I remember Mr. Chambers from a brief period when he had a unique show on one of the local TV stations in L.A.  Basically, each day, he'd memorize that morning's Los Angeles Times and viewers could call up and quiz him on anything in the paper.  Usually, it was restricted to news stories and the crossword puzzle but, some mornings, he'd announce he'd had a little extra time so he'd also memorized the sports section or all the recipes…and I vividly recall one day when he included the comic strip page and someone made him quote the dialogue in Moon Mullins.

The show was only on for a few weeks, as I recall.  I guess once viewers saw that he could do it, they lost interest.  I suspect if they did it today, everyone would figure it was a trick; that the guy was reading it off the TelePrompter or something.

I thought fans of the old Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In (of which I am one) would enjoy this news photo.  Mr. Rowan is no more but Dick Martin and a number of cast members and other celebs were present the other day when a star was unveiled for Rowan and Martin on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.  That's Dick kneeling with the plaque and Ruth Buzzi is just behind him wearing a baseball cap.  At right is a cluster of cast members: Arte Johnson, Henry Gibson, Lily Tomlin, Joanne Worley and Gary Owens.  (Gary is partially obscured by Arte.)  At left are some guest stars, including Dick Van Dyke, Don Rickles and Richard Crenna…but let me point out the real stars in this photo.  The gent with the purple tie kneeling at left is Johnny Grant, "the Ceremonial Mayor of Hollywood and Chairman of the Walk of Fame Selection Committee," who I mentioned in this article.  And the woman peeking out from behind Dick Martin's head is his wife, Dolly, who was the star of the cinema classic, Beyond the Valley of the Dolls.  If I had my way, it would be Dolly getting the star and Dick looking on in loving admiration.

Still swamped, but I wanted to recommend Colleen Doran's new column over at Slush Factory.  Colleen is a magnificent creator of fine comic books and she gives good, hands-on advice for anyone in any field who's coping with deadline problems and an inability to output work at a desired pace.  Can't imagine how anyone could have gotten themselves in a bind over this kind of thing but, if it happens to you, heed her words.

And if you're desperate for some good, intellectual content, click here.  Or here.  Or even here.

Nope. Still don't have time to post much of anything, but that should change, this weekend.  Speaking of this weekend, I wanted to mention that my longtime chum, Scott Shaw!, is appearing in Santa Cruz this Saturday with his high-larious Oddball Comics Slide Show.  Here's a link to an article about Scott that will tell you where he'll be and what he'll do.  And if you can't make it to Santa Cruz, you can at least click to his daily column at www.comicbookresources.com.

And after you go there, enjoy more intellectual content by clicking here.  And still more by clicking here.  Hi-Ho!

Barring some planet-shattering news, there won't be any updates here for a day or three.  The operator of this website is buried in deadlines and scarcely has time to post this.  But keep checking back because he'll make it up to you.  Somehow.  Hey, if you're really bored, here's a link to a website all about cheese!

A Review/Report: How Now, Dow Jones is what some call a "lost musical" — that is, one that is almost never performed.  With a book by Max Shulman (creator of Dobie Gillis), lyrics by Carolyn Leigh and a score by Elmer Bernstein, it arrived on Broadway in December of 1967 and departed 220 performances later, having lost its entire capitalization.  That it ran as long as it did was largely due to an incredible advance sale which, in his book The Season, William Goldman attributed to the title.  The show had no huge stars (Tony Roberts, Brenda Vaccaro and Marlyn Mason were the three biggest) and its creators had no great track record…so the huge pre-sale had to be because of the title.

Goldman claims it was irresistible to "theatre party ladies" — women who arrange charity functions wherein a group sells a huge block of theatre tix to its members.  The title suggested something light and frothy about the stock market, which was perfect for the kind of businessmen who pay for tickets to such charity events.

That's Mr. Goldman's theory and I can't say he's wrong…though it occurs to me that it also suggested something similar to How To Succeed In Business Without Really Trying, which had been a huge hit, not all that long before.  In any case, though the show had one semi-hit song — "Step to the Rear" — it wasn't a success, and hasn't been revived often since then.  Until last evening.

Monday evening, the Musical Theatre Guild staged — for one performance only — a "concert version" of How Now, Dow Jones at the Pasadena Playhouse.  Since I never saw the Broadway version, the following is just a hunch: I think we saw a better show than the folks in New York 35 years ago.  Even without sets or much in the way of rehearsal, and with actors who were still (mostly) reading from their scripts and had never before performed it before an audience, the production was enormous fun.  The four lead roles were performed by Larry Raben, Mary Jo Mecca, Jennifer Gordon and Doug Carfrae and all were excellent.  Also excellent was the musical direction by Brad Ellis, who is a helluva talent and a helluva guy.

This is the kind of thing that "concert versions" should do: Shows that won't otherwise get performed and which may even profit from a humble production.  I suspect How Now would have gotten lost in a full-scale production with sets and costumes and choreography but it worked well on the Pasadena Playhouse stage.  The storyline doesn't make a lot of sense —

Oops.  Just realized I haven't summarized the storyline.  Briefly, a woman named Kate works on Wall Street as "the voice of Dow Jones," announcing the latest averages.  She has been waiting years for a low-level broker named Herbert to marry her.  Herbert, however, won't wed until he gets a promotion, which won't happen until the Dow Jones average hits 1000, which it never has.  (This is 1967)  Frustrated, she runs off and has a one night affair with another low-level stock market employee named Charley, which results in her getting pregnant.  Charley's about to marry someone else so, in a panic to give her child a father, she announces that the Dow has hit 1000.  This touches off a huge buying boom, followed by all sorts of financial disaster when her fib is revealed and…well, like I said.  The story doesn't make a lot of sense —

— but it almost doesn't have to.  The songs are fun, the book is peppered with funny lines and the actors have wonderful, juicy roles which they play to full advantage.  You can't go see this production but maybe its reception tonight will prompt others.  This is a show that does not deserve to be lost.

A frightening statistic: The third issue of our current Groo mini-series — Groo: Death and Taxes — is now in stores.  Gary Grossmann, who is perhaps our most dedicated fan, informs me that, as of that issue, there have been 4391 original Groo comic pages.  Yow.

I have a pet peeve which might be termed "The Trivialization of Words Which Oughta Be Inflammatory."  It's when you take some minor injustice and liken it to some true, monumental wrong.  I know a voice actor who can't get hired by a certain studio because the folks there who do the hiring think he's not very talented.  Instead of accepting that, he says, "The studio has blacklisted me," thereby trying to make them seem as evil and misguided as the industry-wide conspiracy that once drove certain talented writers and actors out of the business and, in a few cases, to their deaths.  One employer deciding on his own not to hire someone does not constitute a "blacklist."  In the same spirit, an animator I know has taken to describing the current spate of layoffs as "The Holocaust."  Frankly, I don't think one should invoke words like "The Holocaust" unless actual murders and racial genocide are being committed.  (Years ago, when I first got into computer bulletin boards, I believe I started a rule that caught on.  It stated you weren't allowed to describe someone as a Nazi unless they were actually heiling Hitler and/or invading Poland.)

This brings us to the recently-expressed sentiment in some quarters that Speedy Gonzales cartoons have been "banned."  No, they haven't.  The Cartoon Network, which controls them all, has simply decided not to show them at this moment, the same way the Cartoon Network doesn't show a lot of films that it owns.  "Banning" would be like if the government came in and forbade the exhibition of any animated motion picture that featured a supersonic rodent character, voiced by Mel Blanc doing a cliché Mexican accent.  That is not what has happened here…but do an Internet search for "Speedy AND Gonzales AND banned."  See how many write of the cartoons' absence as if jackbooted government censors have kicked down doors and burned all the prints.

The films in question have been generally withheld because there is no upside to exhibiting them…only potential problems.  The folks at Cartoon Network have about a thousand Warner Brothers cartoons in their library plus zillions more from Hanna-Barbera, MGM, Ruby-Spears and other producers.  Given the rapid rate at which audiences seem to tolerate and even enjoy reruns, there is no harm (to them) in omitting a few cartoons that involve racial stereotypes from the schedule.  There is, however, a possible downside if certain groups protest and/or sponsors get uncomfy.  I think it's dumb to get upset over a silly little cartoon mouse and even dumber to fold in response to that pressure (or, dumbest, the possibility of that pressure).  But I understand why they do it.

Only they don't, really.  In truth, Cartoon Network occasionally sneaks one of those racially-sensitive films into the air with no fanfare.  I don't know if they've run a Speedy Gonzales lately but they will, probably without calling huge attention to it and thereby daring folks to object.  The more they can do this, the closer those cartoons are to joining the normal rotation.

Also: Currently on the Internet, one can sign several petitions (like this one) that ask Cartoon Network to free the imprisoned Señor Gonzales.  Ordinarily, I think protest movements designed to move TV networks are a colossal waste of time that almost never cause the desired change.  This one, however, might have some impact.  A groundswell of requests — or even a trickle that can be passed off as a groundswell — could provide some moral cover for Cartoon Network.  If and when they run the cartoons more blatantly, objections can be met with, "We're only bowing to demand," thereby making them look less like spreaders of ethnic caricatures and more like public servants.  In any event, the Speedy Gonzales cartoons will eventually lose their leper status and be aired more routinely on TV…whereupon they'll be largely ignored.

This is because of one point which I don't think alters the current argument but I might as well make it.  It's that the vast majority of cartoons that featured Speedy Gonzales were pretty lousy.  The character is kind of cute and might still have some merchandising potential…but more than half his cartoons were done during the late period wherein DePatie-Freleng Studios was producing the cartoons for Warner Brothers.  The non-Speedy cartoons created under that arrangement are rarely shown and no one cares, no one clamors to see them, no one mounts protests demanding their exhibition.  The Speedy cartoons from that period are no better.  Of the earlier Speedy Gonzales cartoons, it's true that one won an Academy Award and three more garnered nominations…but by that point, so few theatrical cartoons were being made that, each year, WB could pretty much designate which of its films would get nominated.  At the time, they had great merchandising hopes for the mouse so WB applied its corporate muscle there.  (Also, Friz Freleng — who was directing Speedy's appearances — was the senior director and he wanted the films hyped for Oscars.)

But Speedy's films aren't particularly great and most people — including many who are protesting their unavailability — probably wouldn't watch them if they were routinely available.  That, of course, is not a reason to "ban" anything.  It is, however, an excellent reason to not run them…at least, not very often.

No, no April Fool's Day jokes here…but they're popping up across the Internet.  Drop by everyone's favorite search engine, www.google.com and click on the link that says, "The secret technology behind Google's amazing accuracy."  And check out today's headlines on www.broadway.com.