Almost forgot to mention one of the highlights of my Wondercon Weekend. Oakland — at least the portions around the convention center, which are all I've seen after four Wondercons — is a great little city. There are fascinating little shops and, if you know where to go, great restaurants. There are a lot of dives and dumps but there are also fine places to dine. Within walking distance of the Marriott is a waterfront area called Jack London Square with a couple of terrific places, such as Kincaid's. And just across the street from the hotel and down one block is the Jade Villa, one of the best Chinese restaurants I've ever not been able to use chopsticks in. That is not faint praise: I've been unable to use chopsticks in an awful lot of Chinese restaurants over the years.
The Jade Villa, which is located at 800 Broadway, is not at all fancy. The reason to go there is the almost-daily Dim Sum. You sit there — this is after you get a table, which sometimes takes a while, especially on Sunday — and little women of Asian ancestry shove carts of food up and down the aisles, pausing to offer delicacies for your selection. Most of the offerings are dumplings and little unknown items cooked in some variety of dough. If you ask what's in one of them, the ladies give you an impatient look; like you're wasting their time because they have to hurry and push the cart over to the next table so the people there can ask what's inside the pastry. But they give you an answer. Most seem to say, "Shrimp," no matter what's really in there. Occasionally, it turns out to be shrimp, which is great. They do terrific things with shrimp.
Dim Sum represents a certain amount of gambling, especially for those of us with odd food allergies. There's also an element of chance as to which items will be offered for your purchase before you're so stuffed, you can eat no more. On Friday, Carolyn Kelly and I went there and enjoyed many items but especially the stuffed mushrooms. ("What are they stuffed with?" "Shrimp.") On Sunday, Carolyn, Len Wein and I went there and kept waiting for the stuffed mushrooms to come around. At one point, there seemed to be a better chance of Godot showing up than those damned stuffed mushrooms. We couldn't resist many of the offerings so we bought all sorts of little potstickers ("What's in those?" "Shrimp.") and egg roll concoctions ("What's inside these?" "Shrimp.") and we wolfed them all down. Finally, Len said, "I can't eat another bite" and Carolyn said, "Me, too" and I even admitted, "This is it…no more." And, of course, the minute we all said that, the lady came by with the stuffed mushrooms, which were stuffed with…you know.
I couldn't stuff down even one stuffed mushroom; not even if you put your foot in my mouth and stamped down. Instead, we paid the check and waddled back towards the convention. And I could almost hear the conversation as we left the Jade Villa…
"Those people walk so funny. What got into them?"
"Shrimp."