On Sunday afternoon (10/7), my friend Carolyn and I dropped by the Hollywood Collectors Show, an event held around thrice a year at the Beverly Garland Holiday Inn in Studio City. The hotel, by the way, is named for the wonderful character actress, Beverly Garland, who is best known for her long-running role on the TV show, My Three Sons. She was among the many celebrities who were there, selling autographed photos and memorabilia.
These two-day events, run by Ray and Sharon Court, give stars — past and present — a chance to meet their fans and to make a few bucks writing their names on eight-by-tens. Sometimes, it's more than a few bucks. Rumor has it that the all-time grosses are racked up whenever Don Knotts is at a table, signing Barney Fife photos at ten bucks a pop. He was advertised for all weekend but, due to poor health, only showed for one day. Still, one of the guests with a nearby table, estimated that Mr. Knotts signed perhaps a thousand signatures on Saturday. You do the math.
(The unofficial runner-up for the longest line is said to be Charlton Heston, who wasn't among the guests this time. Apparently, the way to generate crowds at this thing is to have at least one bullet in your pocket.)
Besides Knotts, others who were signing one day or both this time included Hugh O'Brian, Ed Asner, Gennifer Flowers, Buddy Hackett, Edd "Kookie" Byrnes, David Carradine, Howard Morris and many others. Joey Heatherton, Stella Stevens and Carol Lynley were all there. If in the sixties, you were male and unaroused by any of the three, you were automatically declared gay. There were also a couple of former members of "Our Gang," a number of one-time Mouseketeers, a few Playboy Playmates …and the main reason I went: Soupy Sales. The Soupman was selling 'n' signing his newly-released autobiography, Soupy Sez, written with Charles Salzberg.
Mr. Sales seemed tired and in poor health so I didn't attempt much of a conversation; just bought a book and got it signed. I was outside, paging through it when I discovered that I'd written a chunk of it. Soupy's co-author, Mr. Salzberg, e-mailed me some time ago and secured permission to quote the article I penned about Soupy (this one) and I'd plumb forgotten. But despite me, it's a pretty good book…one that will delight anyone who names Soupy and his menagerie as among their childhood playmates.
These Hollywood Collectors Shows (and similar events around the country) leave me with mixed feelings, I have to say. On the one hand, I think it's terrific that actors who wish to avail themselves of the opportunity have a venue where they can make a few bucks off their autographs. A lot of those in the hall receive scant (often, no) residuals from their old TV and movie appearances and have had their willingness to sign autographs exploited by dealers. I like the fact that if, for example, you always admired Edd "Kookie" Byrnes, you can go up to him at one of these shows, tell him that, shake his mitt and buy a signed pic or autobiography with every nickel going to him. Against this is the fact that it's a little sad, at least with some guests, that this is all that remains of their stardom.
What causes me to side (mainly) with the happier thought is a melancholy memory from one of the Courts' shows, a few years back. It involved the late comedian Pat Paulsen who, at the time of course, was not a late comedian. Alas, he then knew he was about to become one. He'd been diagnosed with something terminal — the big "C," I believe — and was out on a crusade to accrue cash to leave his family. Pat was a very sweet, very funny man who had managed to not rack up much of a fortune during his years on television — though I suspect his last minute putsch for dollars was less a matter of needing cash than of needing something constructive to do. Whatever, for his last few months, he was appearing everywhere he could, performing and signing, making whatever money he could make.
Colleagues were abetting him. Ruth Buzzi was sitting with him that day, dolled up in the Gladys Ormphby outfit she wore on Laugh-In, signing and posing for photos, with and without him, all proceeds going to Pat. A few other stars lent their celebrity to the effort while autograph dealers, aware that the supply of Paulsen autographs was soon to be finite, were stocking up, buying multiples from him. It was sad…but it would have been even sadder if Pat hadn't had that outlet.
Navigating the ballroom at these events presents certain challenges of etiquette: You don't want to make eye contact with folks whose wares you have no interest in purchasing. But you also don't want to act like you don't know who they are or don't care that they're there. I don't collect autographs, at least not on eight-by-tens, though I've purchased a few at these shows, just so I had the chance to chat with the star or slip a few bucks to someone who seemed to really need the money.
Many don't. One guest this time told me she would have preferred to pass out pics gratis but, for two reasons, couldn't. One was that, when she'd tried that in the past, the autograph dealers grabbed 'em all up and they went directly up on eBay. The other problem was that the other guests who did need (or just really want) the money got quite angry at her; like she was trying to make them look bad. So she charged ten bucks a photo, threw in a lot of freebees, and gave everything she collected to the Twin Towers Fund. Works for her, works for me, works for everyone. In fact, the more I think about the whole institution, the more I like it. I wish the room was less shabbier and crowded, and I wish the whole proceedings were a bit more dignified. But I'm glad someone invented this kind of event and will attend whenever possible.
Two other points: The above-linked article I wrote about Soupy was as much about his sidekick, the late Clyde Adler, a wonderful gent about whom little is known. This may change. My article found its way to his widow who sent me a lovely letter — on paper; people still do that — correcting a few minor errors and inviting me to hit her up for additional info on Clyde. I intend to do this soon. (Thanks, Ed Golick, for passing it on to her.)
Also, they're not in stores yet but if you want to pre-order a copy of Soupy's autobiography, you can do so at Amazon.Com. And if you do so by clicking on this link, I make enough money to buy about half a pack of gum.