And With Medium Power Comes Not-So-Great Responsibility

I have a silly question that I should know the answer to and don't.

An oft-quoted line from the Spider-Man comic book goes as follows: "With great power comes great responsibility."

Was that line (reasonably) original to the comic? Or is it a quote from somewhere else? I have a vague idea that it was famously uttered by Sir Winston Churchill but the quotation books I have handy here either don't mention it or attribute it to Spider-Man or Stan Lee.

Can someone give me an answer? And if you're saying it was a known quote before that, could we have a source, please?

With Great Quotes, There Must Also Come Many Letters…

I asked about the Spider-Man credo, "With great power there must come great responsibility" and boy, did I get answers. As to the question of whether Winston Churchill said it, the answer apparently is no. What he said was "The Price of Greatness is Responsibility," which was the title of this essay. This was pointed out to me, one way or the other, by Stan Taylor, Jim Drew, Ken Quattro, Jeffery Stevenson, Tom Leach, Allen Montgomery, Martin Gately, Jason Crane, Russ Maheras, Bob Heer and some guy named Marv Wolfman who owes me a lunch.

Earl Wells writes that something like it was uttered or almost uttered by someone named Roosevelt…

As far as I know, the quote that comes closest to the line in the Spider-Man story is from a speech that FDR was going to deliver at the Jefferson Day Dinner in 1945; he died the day before: "Today we have learned in the agony of war that great power involves great responsibility." (From Nothing to Fear, ed. by Ben D. Zevin, p. 464 of the 1961 Popular Library paperback; the book was originally published in 1946 by the World Publishing Company.)

A similar remark is in FDR's 1945 state of the union address: "In a democratic world, as in a democratic Nation, power must be linked with responsibility… ." (From Living Ideas in America, ed. by Henry Steele Commager, p. 703 of the 1951 Harper & Brothers hardcover.)

And Theodore Roosevelt said something like it in a 1908 letter: "…I believe in power; but I believe that responsibility should go with power…" (From T.R.: The Last Romantic by H.W. Brands, pp. 628-9 of the 1997 Basic Books hardcover; the letter was published by Harvard in The Letters of Theodore Roosevelt, 8 volumes, 1951-54.)

These are just the ones I've noticed over the years; I wouldn't be surprised if there are others. But Lee & Ditko said it best! (All or some of this may be on the Internet somewhere, but I'm too lazy to check.)

My pal Nate Butler thinks it may come from a higher authority…

I heard Stan Lee speak at a college in Connecticut many, many years ago…and/or I read it later in an interview with him…where he said he enjoyed reading the Bible as Great Literature and a source of story ideas. I think he may have said at that time that the "with great power comes great responsibility" quote was adapted from what Jesus Christ says in the Gospel of Luke, chapter 12, verse 48: "For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required: and to whom men have committed much, of him they will ask the more."

That's the King James version that Stan might have read years ago. A contemporary translation reads: "From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked."

Some other quotes were pointed out to me as being similar but not exact…

  • "Responsibility walks hand in hand with capacity and power." — Josiah Gilbert Holland. (Sent by Jeffery Stevenson and Russ Maheras.)
  • "Rank does not confer privilege or give power. It imposes responsibility." — Louis Armstrong. (Sent by Russ Maheras, who notes this was apparently not the Louis Armstrong with the trumpet.)
  • "Power without responsibility…the prerogative of the harlot throughout the ages." — Rudyard Kipling. (Sent by Stephen Soymonoff.)
  • "It is a sad reflection…that a sense of responsibility which comes with power is the rarest of things." — Alexander Crummell. (Also sent by Stephen Soymonoff.)
  • "To whom much is given, much is required." — John F. Kennedy. (Sent by Ron Goldberg and Ali T. Kokmen.)

Also, Lee Barnett sends us to this page where several authors fiddle with the concept, including Christine de Pisan, according to whom, "the greater the power that individuals have, the greater their responsibility for the moral and material welfare of the people who depend on them."

Lastly, several folks pointed out that I left a word out of the quote. Here's a note from Danny Fingeroth, who used to be the editor of all the Spider-Man comics at Marvel…

The actual line from Amazing Fantasy #15 is said by the narrator. It goes: "And a lean, silent figure slowly fades into the gathering darkness, aware at last that in this world, with great power there must also come — great responsibility!"

The "there must also" part is often left out, but one could say that it's what makes Peter a hero and not a villain, since a villain might not see that he has a responsibility, even after a lesson like Peter got. (Although, of course, the best villains see themselves as responsible heroes.)

A good point. In fact, I remember a couple of different periods of the Spider-Man comic (not yours, as I recall) where I sure got the feeling that the writer either didn't get that or simply didn't understand the concept of volunteerism. I made that observation to one of his associates and got the reply, "Yeah…him writing about helping others is like an Orthodox Jew writing about the joys of pulled pork sandwiches."

Danny also suggests that I ask Stan Lee if he remembers where he got it. That's a good one, Danny. And thanks to all who answered or tried to answer my question.

Stan Lee, Superstar

There's a newly-made documentary on Disney+ about Stan Lee. I have not seen it yet and judging from some of the online reviews, it might be good for my blood pressure if I didn't watch. I probably will soon but at the moment, the Stan Lee Tribute TV Special which aired on ABC on 12/20/19 has been sitting unviewed on my TiVo for all this time.

My opinion of Stan Lee is complicated and not easy to explain. It falls somewhere between "He did everything" and "He did nothing." It includes massive disappointment with some (not all) of the things he said over the years, some (not all) of the things he did. It became clear to me at times that he did not believe in the phrase, "With great power comes great responsibility."

With the exception of one ugly falling-out we had, Stan was very nice to me…as he was nice to almost everybody when his reputation and continued employment were not at stake. He could be a charming man and I absolutely understand why some people love(d) the guy. But I think that the notion that he was the primary creator of those properties is utter…what's the word I'm looking for here? Oh, I know: Bullshit.

Note that I am not saying he did nothing. You could not be in his position and contribute nothing even if you tried. But I think the driving force behind those properties was Jack Kirby — in at least some cases by a wide margin — and I think Steve Ditko was the driving force behind Spider-Man and Doctor Strange.

Since I haven't seen the documentary, I don't want to say much more than that if it suggests those two artists contributed nothing more than the visuals, it's wrong. (And let's be honest here: Even if all they'd contributed were the visuals, they both deserve more creator credit than they've received at times. All Joe Shuster contributed to the creation of Superman was the visuals and no one ever disputed his full status as the co-creator.)

Marvel finally — too little, too late — agreed to always credit both as co-creators of the properties they helped launch. Actually, it was more Disney than Marvel that agreed to that…so I really don't understand why there's now a documentary that suggests otherwise.

One reason I believe it suggests otherwise is that I read this letter which was released the other day by Jack's son Neal. Neal is a very smart guy and if the documentary says what Neal says it says, the documentary is definitely wrong.

I am still working on my long-promised exhaustive biography on Neal's father. In it, I go into far greater detail about all this than I can on this blog. My conclusions were arrived at by extensive conversations with both men. I think I'm the only person alive who worked — at different times, of course — for both Stan and Jack. Stan could sometimes be surprisingly fair in his recollections of who did what when there wasn't a tape recorder running.

I also talked, often at great length, with Ditko, Don Heck, Stan Goldberg, Bill Everett, Sol Brodsky and others who were around at the time. Not one of them thought all Jack or Steve did was draw what Stan dreamed up. Some felt the credit should just be 50-50 and we should leave it at that. Some felt the artist end of it should be higher. No one felt it should be lower.

Yes, yes…I need to finish and publish this book that I keep talking about. This documentary may be all the push I need to do that. In the meantime, read what Neal Kirby has to say. Here's that link again.

I'll take "Jack" for $1600…

Jack Kirby would have been pleased to see this "answer" on tonight's episode of Jeopardy! And what would have pleased him most was not that it showed he was famous but that he was being credited as a co-creator. He did not see that often when he was alive.

He saw himself being praised as a great artist — and when he complained to Stan about not being acknowledged for inventing (or co-inventing) characters and comics, Stan's response was usually to praise Jack more as an artist. Happily, Jack is now formally acknowledged the way he wanted to be…and yes, I know: Too little, too late. But "better late than never" is applicable here and we have to settle for that.

I have respect for a number of things Stan Lee did during his long career but I do not buy any of the excuses that absolve him of blame for Jack not getting the credit he deserved. Hell, if he'd just said in public (or in depositions) some of the things he said to me in private, he could have lived up to that line about how with great power comes great responsibility.

And in case you're interested, the contestant on Jeopardy! who rang in on this answer was their long-reigning champion, Matt Amodio, the guy who starts all his responses with "what" even when "who" or "where" would be more proper. His response to this one was "What's Kirby?"

From the E-Mailbag…

This one comes to me from Joe Wilmont, who showed the good sense to sit through most of my panels at this year's Comic-Con International. Therefore, I can't argue too much with him when he writes…

I agree and disagree with your "rant." I think there has been a lack of accountability but there has also been a tendency to blame Republicans. I don't see the Democratic party as a party of ideas so much as one that sits back, waits for Republicans to screw up and then says, "That's wrong." Whatever that is, it's not leadership and it's not going to get us anywhere. I know you think George W. Bush has been a bad president. I would be interested in hearing why you think people are not attacking Democrats in equal number.

Far be it from me to defend the "Democratic leadership" — a term that is more and more becoming an oxymoron. I agree they don't lead. On the other hand, when you find yourself shut out from all three branches of government, there's not all that much you can do except to carp. (Although it looks like Joe Lieberman's going to rightly get some of the blame for the appointment of Michael Brown to head FEMA.)

A lot of people seem to think that "fairness" demands that you criticize one Democrat for every Republican you fault and that you go 50-50 down the line. That would work if (a) the Democrats had 50% of the power and (b) both parties were at all times equally incompetent. The second comes close to happening over the long run but not always in any given time period. I was once at a seminar on political humor with a band of comedians and comedy writers, and someone in the audience complained that lately, there had been a lot more Dan Quayle jokes in the media than, say, Ted Kennedy jokes. Someone had to point out to this person that in the preceding weeks, Dan Quayle had been more visible than Ted Kennedy and had said dumber things than Ted Kennedy. I got up and said, "Tomorrow, if a Republican goes out and makes a major speech with his fly open, there are going to be a ton of jokes about that Republican, and it has nothing to do with him being a Republican. Fairness in comedy doesn't mean zinging both sides in equal numbers. It just means zinging them both when they're zingable. Eventually, some Democrat — probably Ted Kennedy — will have his fly open."

And that gets to the (a): At the time, Quayle was on the news more, trying to rehabilitate his image and convince America that he was presidential material. The guys in power — especially the ones who control the White House — are always going to be subject to more criticism than the guys who aren't. If Republicans are getting blamed more for things, maybe that's because they're in charge of more things. You know, it's like they say in Spider-Man: With great power comes great responsibility. When you control the government and the government screws up, who would you expect to get most of the criticism?

Stan Gets Bronzed

You need to fill out a form for a free subscription to read this article. It only takes a few moments but for those of you who don't want to do this, I'll summarize. Here's the lede…

PROVIDENCE — Attorney General Patrick C. Lynch said his press secretary was a little worried when he first proposed putting a Spider-Man quote on the building. When the former attorney general, Sheldon Whitehouse, took office in 1999, he installed a bronze plaque outside 150 S. Main St. declaring: "I will not cease from mental fight. Nor shall my sword sleep in my hand…" The words are from one of Whitehouse's favorite poems — written by the noted early 19th-century English poet William Blake.

Lynch, who took office last year, is now preparing to install a new plaque that declares: "With great power comes great responsibility." The words are from Stan Lee, the 20th-century American comic book pioneer who created Spider-Man. Lynch said he was inspired by his 6-year-old son, Graham — an avid Spider-Man fan who tugged on his father's pants and said those words moments before Lynch's inauguration in January 2003.

The piece goes on to say that Lynch is hoping to get Stan Lee and Tobey Maguire to come to Providence in June for the unveiling. That happens to be when the next Spider-Man movie is opening.

Shared Suffering

The last few days, the Internet has brought us all the latest information (with a few bloopers) and some wonderful words of insight and opinion (with, of course, a few idiots).  Before I tell you what's on my mind, I would like to recommend almost any article this week on Slate but especially the following pieces, there and elsewhere.  I don't necessarily agree with everything they say, but I believe they are contributing to a responsible national dialogue.

Read what these folks have to say.  If, after you do, you aren't thoroughly sick of the topic, come back here and read the following piece which I just sent off for The Comics Buyer's Guide for the issue which goes off to press on Monday…

As I write this, crews are poking through the remnants of what were once the twin towers of the World Trade Center, looking for bodies.  It will take a week to ten days for this publication to reach you, at which time crews will still be digging through that rubble, looking for bodies.  Even if it takes two months for your copy to arrive, crews will still be pouring through the debris.

Some facets of our lives will be returning to normal.  We may occasionally go an hour or two without thinking of the thousands killed by the terrorist attacks of 9/11/01.  But, at best, the thoughts will never fully go away.  And things will never be "normal" again.

I don't know how I could have written about comic books or cartoon shows this week.  Four commercial airliners were hijacked, everyone aboard was killed and three of the planes plowed into buildings, murdering thousands more…

…and I'm going to write about who's stronger, the Thing or the Hulk?  Not bloody likely.

Tuesday AM, everyone was comparing the terrorist attacks to Pearl Harbor and, from the standpoint of moving us towards all-out war, that may turn out to be true.  Still, two critical differences hit me right off the bat.

One was that Pearl Harbor was about soldiers being killed on battleships.  It was, I'm certain, horrible and frightening, but it was removed from the lives of civilians, i.e., people who were not in the business of war, going about their daily lives.  Our parents and grandparents could not have possibly have thought, as you and I did Tuesday morn —

"That could have been me.  I could have been in one of those planes.  I could have been in one of those skyscrapers."

You thought that.  You're lying if you claim otherwise.  And you'll think it, the next time you have to fly somewhere or enter a large office complex.

The other difference is this: Pearl Harbor wasn't televised.

There was no footage of the Japanese Imperial Navy dropping bombs on the U.S.S. Arizona and, even if there had been, there was no television.  Our folks did not sit in their homes, in their pajamas, witnessing what we all saw on CNN Tuesday morning.

We saw it, not once but repeatedly — the jets flying into the buildings, as caught by every camcorder around.  After the eightieth viewing, I started switching channels, searching for one that would give me info without the incessant instant replays.  Each time I thought I'd found it, the screen would then change.

Sometimes, they'd cut to footage of the jets flying into the buildings and the buildings crashing down, while they continued the speaker's remarks as voiceover.  Sometimes, they'd split the screen and put the speaker in a little box and then, in the big box, they'd put the image of the jets flying into the buildings and the buildings collapsing.

Over and over.  Again and again.  From different angles.

I finally decided I might as well get used to it: We're going to be seeing it the rest of our lives — in our media, in our culture, in our sleep.

For a time, I tried radio, just so I wouldn't have to see it the eighty-first time.  I was listening to someone's too-graphic description when it hit me: This was how our parents and grandparents experienced Pearl Harbor.  On the radio.

I love radio but I've never fully bought the bromide that hearing something has greater impact than seeing it.  Radio, they claim, engages out imaginations and I suppose it does.  Still, Orson Welles in his prime could not have induced the horror and helplessness we all felt Tuesday morning, watching the planes hit, seeing the towers implode.  This was beyond all imagination.

If it leads to World War III or anything close, we ought to be even better girded than what some now call "The Greatest Generation."  When our Pearl Harbor occurred, we were there.

As always happens in time of calamity, our thoughts turn quickly from the problem to the solution: How do we make certain this never happens again?

There are no easy solutions but I'd like to throw out one probably-silly suggestion.  Forgive me for even mentioning the notion but could we perhaps care about this as much as we care about, say, partisan politics?  Or other peoples' sex lives?  For the last few weeks, my TV screen has been filled with a leering, huffy inquiry into the dating habits of an obscure Modesto congressman.

One of the nation's leading interview shows — with the jurisdiction and clout to interview anyone on any topic — is Larry King Live on CNN.  In the month of July, Larry King aired 21 programs.  Gary Condit and Chandra Levy were the sole topic of 15 of those shows, and they were discussed on several others.  That's an amazing amount of airtime when you consider that everything that is known, really known about the case could probably be summarized in under ten minutes, and that it really has little bearing on your life or mine.

Meanwhile…

In January of this year, a bipartisan Defense Department-chartered commission on national security recommended 50 steps that they felt needed to be undertaken in order to prevent domestic acts of mass destruction.  In its summary, the report proclaimed that, "the combination of unconventional weapons proliferation with the persistence of international terrorism will end the relative invulnerability of the U.S. homeland to catastrophic attack."

How much air time on Larry King Live do you think has been devoted this year to this now-suddenly-hot topic?  (Answer: None.  Maybe if the terrorists were boffing interns —?)

How many articles in the press have there been?  How many televised discussions?  How many debates in Congress?

The commission pointed out an enormous problem.  How many hours did our leaders devote to implementing solutions?  (Answer: Same as above.  But you can bet every member of the House and Senate either issued a statement about Gary Condit or pondered how to sidestep the question.)

Tuesday afternoon, we saw the heads of both houses of Congress, Democrat and Republican, appear together on the capitol steps to proclaim solidarity and the set-aside of partisan divides.  "We must all work together," they said over and over, in so many ways.

It was a nice moment and a splendid photo-op.  But what I wanted to yell at my set was: "GREAT, GUYS!  BUT WHY CAN'T YOU DO THAT ALL THE TIME?"

Why in the names of Trent Lott and Tom Daschle do thousands of innocent Americans have to die horrendous deaths before we start acting like maybe, just maybe, we're all in this together?  Is it a sudden revelation that there are people on this planet who fantasize about killing a lot of Americans?

In 1996, we're now tragically reminded, Osama bin Laden issued a "fatwah" — a religious ruling urging Muslims to kill U.S. troops in Saudi Arabia and Somalia.  Coming from a man who'd already presided over the murder of 18 U.S. servicemen in Mogadishu, you'd think that would have rousted our leaders to some action.

But no.  Our Congress and the White House spent most of 1996 hurling accusations at one another, staging an election that, at times, seemed to be only about Bob Dole's age and Bill Clinton's genitalia.

Then in 1998, Osama bin Laden announced a second fatwah, demanding savage attacks on American citizens.  As I recall, our leaders spent most of 1998 impeaching Bill Clinton.  That certainly made us all a lot safer.

In January of this year, when the above-described report was issued, it didn't get a lot of attention.  Did you hear a word about it?  I didn't, and I just did an Internet search that could find no mention of it older than about six hours.  However, in the first month of this year, we all heard plenty about…

Who President Clinton had pardoned…

The condition in which his staff allegedly left their offices…

And whether Democrats would sink George W. Bush's nominations as "payback" for past Republican torpedoes.

Three weeks ago, Osama bin Laden told journalists that his followers would carry out "an unprecedented attack" on the United States.  At least, that's what the London-based Arabic newspaper, al-Quds al-Arabi, is now saying.  Even assuming it's true, it wouldn't have made a bit of difference.  Three weeks ago, this country's attention was directed at the following outrage of vastly more importance…

When Gary Condit was interviewed by Connie Chung, even though we all knew he'd had an affair with Chandra Levy, he wouldn't say so in explicit terms.

We all knew he'd had the affair.  He'd told the police he'd had the affair and he admitted it to Ms. Chung in discreet lingo.  Connie then spent 20-24 minutes of a 30-minute interview trying to get him to say, "Yeah, I did her."  And because he wouldn't, our forums of public discourse — the news shows, the editorials, the chat rooms — were filled quickly with hatred of Gary Condit.

Hatred.  Some used that verb: "I hate Gary Condit."

Today, I wonder what those people say about the conspirators who destroyed several blocks of New York City and murdered thousands of our friends and relatives.  What term adequately conveys the Condit-haters' (presumably) stronger feelings about the hijackers?

Maybe we should reserve the word "hate" for special occasions — say, for when innocent men and women are brutally and deliberately killed.  Remember that when you "hate" the next Adam Sandler movie.

I am not suggesting that we ignore trivial matters — I make my living off trivia and, God knows, always will.  I am not even defending Condit who, for all we know, may have committed a crime that warrants some amount of our anger.  But as I write this, there's not a shred of evidence that he did, and the amount of anger and interest seems to me, at the very least, premature.  And, worse, distracting.

There's nothing wrong with trivia just so long as someone, somewhere is paying heed to the important matters.  In this country, we expect that of two groups of people: Those who run the government and those who report on them…

Our elected officials and the press.

We have a saying in super-hero comic books: "With great power comes great responsibility."  No, the people in those two groups probably could not have told us what a few dozen madmen would do Tuesday morning.  The chilling advantage that terrorists have on us is that they are willing to do the unthinkable; the kind of thing that we, as reasonable people, cannot conceive of anyone ever doing.

But our representatives and our reporters could have told us something was likely to happen.  That commission knew.

We could have started the process that has to begin now, sadly after the fact, of how to combat suicide attacks on American soil.  We need to tell our elected officials, "Hey, fellas!  Spend a little less time on stained blue dresses and flag-burning and trying to gin up scandals about one another, and a little more on things that get innocent people killed."

Today, watching TV and roaming the Internet, I see America at its best and worst.  I see it sad, I see it shocked, I see it angry.  I see people who are so out of their skulls with rage that they probably resemble the kind of person who would seize the controls of a Boeing 767 and fly it into the side of a building.  I see people who are so scared, they're deciding which civil rights we can well do without.

As the initial trauma fades, it gives way to reminders of how good we are, how good we can be: Folks queuing up for blocks to donate blood, strangers comforting one another, businesses opening or closing their doors as best serves their communities, acts of heroism among the rescue workers.

We need to cling to that America and not to the aspect of our national character that divides us into two camps and lives to destroy the opposition.  For now, our leaders talk like leaders but, just a few notches down the food chains, you already have Democrats trying to figure how to pin this on Republicans, and Republicans trying to fathom how they can use this against Democrats.

You have people who hate Bill Clinton trying to jury-rig some way that this is his fault, and those who hate George W. Bush whipping up arguments that he's culpable.

You have those who favor the so-called "Star Wars" missile proposal arguing that this proves we need it.  You have those who oppose it arguing back that this proves it won't help.

It's that way on too many Internet sites that advocate strong positions: For gun control, against gun control; pro-choice, pro-life; lax immigration; no immigration; even gay rights versus its opposition.  I don't think the last jet had even crashed before some of these factions started spinning, asking themselves, "How can we use this to advance our cause?"

Well, I'm no better than they are.  I'm going to try and use it to advance my cause.  My cause is that we need fewer causes taken to the extreme that they pit us against one another, and divert our attention and resources from real enemies.  We all just saw what a real enemy can do.

My cause is that we embrace that we are a great, intelligent and compassionate nation.  It's a sin to abandon the compassion and to funnel all that greatness and intelligence into trivial, partisan squabbles and "gotcha" politics and journalism.

The number one function of government was defined by Gouverneur Morris and the co-authors of our Constitution.  It's to "establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity."

Tuesday morning, we got None of the Above.

We can blame it all on this season's Foreign Madman and his insane, fanatical followers and, of course, they deserve every condemnation now being heaped upon them.  They must be — they will be — tracked down, slaughtered, put on trial, martyred, executed, whatever.  Some of that, I hope and suspect, will occur before this reaches you.

But in the long range, the way to prevent the next Foreign Madman is for the United States to try something novel: Being united.

And it shouldn't take what happened Tuesday to make that happen.  It just shouldn't.

Who's Minding the Movie?

The late Howard Morris was rightly hailed as one of the best character actors, comedians and voice performers in the business. He was also a very good director. He directed episodes of many of the great situation comedies of the sixties including The Dick Van Dyke Show, the pilot for Get Smart and a helluva lot of episodes of Hogan's Heroes.

I don't know if I've told this story before and I'm too lazy to search my own blog…but Howie's involvement with Hogan's Heroes started with its producers wanting to have him play Colonel Klink. It was a somewhat different role at the time and Howie — who did one of the best German accents in the business — seemed perfect for what they had in mind. Then when they were auditioning actors to play Sgt. Schultz, Werner Klemperer came in to read and someone started thinking of him as Klink instead. Ultimately, John Banner played Schultz, Klemperer played a somewhat different Klink and Howie got a contract to direct…which pleased him a lot.

Every so often, I catch an episode he directed. I think I've heard Howie's coaching in some of the German accents of day players in the show…as if he read the lines to them and they imitated his readings. I also heard at least one off-camera German-accented voice that I'm pretty sure was Howie himself. (It was very nice of the Germans in that prison camp to speak English to each other when no English-speaking people were present and to speak English on radios and phone calls.)

Howie was directing a lot then, including tons of commercials, many of them for McDonald's, where you also heard him voice some of the characters in McDonaldland. He directed several TV Movies and four theatricals — Who's Minding the Mint? (1967), With Six You Get Eggroll (1968), Don't Drink the Water (1969) and Goin' Coconuts (1978). The gap in dates there is notable. He was very unhappy with how Don't Drink the Water came out, feeling that others involved in the film overruled and altered his work so he didn't get to make the movie he wanted the way he wanted. But he still took much of the blame for its failure and so he had a hard time getting another directing job.

Who's Minding the Mint? was easily the best of the four and since it was his first movie that was going to be shown in theaters, he was very much afraid of…well, of what he felt later happened to him with Don't Drink the Water.

This happens a lot in businesses: You're given the responsibility to do something without always being given the power to do it the way you think is proper…oh, the stories I could tell. But what follows is what Howie told me — his version and there may be others — of what happened with Who's Minding the Mint? To him, it was a situation where he had the responsibility to deliver a good finished film on time and on budget…and others at the studio were making decisions that made that more difficult.

A lot of it had to do with simple scheduling — where a given scene would be shot (at the studio or on location) or how much time would be allotted to shoot it. Another director on another project once told me what to him was the most frustrating part of directing: "A guy in an office makes a schedule that presumes the crew can tear down one scene and set the next one up in twenty minutes….and then for unforeseen reasons, it takes the crew two hours. But it's getting dark and no one can reschedule the sun going down."

That kind of thing.

Anyway, I promised to tell the Milton Berle story here so let me get to it…and remember, I'm telling you what Howie told me. I wasn't there for any of this. But he said that without consulting him, the studio had signed Joey Bishop for a key role in the film. Howie thought that was a mistake. Then when they couldn't get Phil Silvers for the role of the pawn shop owner, no one talked to Howie. They went ahead and signed Berle.

He thought Bishop was wrong for the part and (Howie said) Joey had a reputation for arguing over every line of every script. When Howie was on or was directing The Dick Van Dyke Show, The Joey Bishop Show was on the same lot and stories got around. But, Howie decided, there was nothing he could do about Mr. Bishop. Mr. Berle might be persuadable. He took him to lunch and laid out his concern. I am here now paraphrasing what Howie told me — and he was paraphrasing what had been said at that long-ago lunch…

Howie said he'd buttered up Milton a lot, then said, "Milton, this is the biggest break I've ever had and I'm stuck with that S.O.B. Joey Bishop. The budget on this film is very tight and it's getting tighter every time I turn around. If you and I start arguing over every line in every scene, the film will never get done. My directing career will end and you'll be in a flop picture which won't do you any good. I'm asking you to please help me, not fight me."

According to Howie, Berle said something like, "I'll tell you what we can do. I've been in this business all my life. And I've directed so I understand what you have to do and the kind of pressure you're under. But I'll tell you what I hate. I hate directors telling me how to play a scene and how to read lines in front of the crew and the rest of the cast. I've been doing this too long to put up with that from anybody…

"So here's what we can do. If we're doing a scene and I'm not giving you enough energy and you want me to ramp it up a bit, give me this signal…" And here, Howie gestured as if someone was trying to say, "Come this way more."

Berle continued: "If you want me to tone it down for the next take, do this…" And here, Howie gestured as if to say, "Back off a little."

Berle then added, "If it's anything more complicated than that, you say, 'Milton, I need to ask your advice on something here…' and you take me to one side where the cast and crew can't hear and you tell me what you need. I swear to you, I'll take that direction, whatever it is, as long as no one heard you trying to tell me how to act."

Finally Berle added, according to Howie, "But if at any point, you try to tell me how to read lines in front of everyone else, I will take your fucking head off."

Howie said he thought for a second, then said "It's a deal" and they shook on it.

And Howie said that throughout the shooting — which was even rougher than he'd feared — Berle was almost perfect — good behavior, good performance, helping and not hurting. Except once. I'll try to re-create what Howie told me about the once…

We were on location. It was the last shot of the day and we had to get it. It was vital to the scene and if we didn't get it before the sun set, we'd have to come back the next day which would have cost a ton of money and I would have had to cut stuff that hadn't been shot yet, most of which was also vital. Plus, if we'd had to come back the next day, it would have thrown that day's schedule off and, God, it would have been a disaster. So the crew is hurrying to get set up for it and it's taking longer than it should have. I'm rehearsing the actors and in my panic, I corrected Berle in front of everyone else. I told him how to read a line and he got pissed and stormed off.

I was devastated. I saw the whole movie dying right in front of me and my career with it. Fortunately, he came back and did it right and we got the take at the last possible second.

Many in the movie business have written about how while directors often get way more credit than they might deserve, they also get way more pressures and headaches than they deserve.  It isn't all about a creative vision.  A lot of it is about budgets and schedules and sets and props and lighting and casting and special effects and wardrobe and a zillion and one other things.  In every area lies the possibility of some problem impacting the way the movie comes out.

When Howie told me this story, his directing career was largely behind him and he was telling me about the part of it that he didn't miss.  He called it "The Crap" and he had examples from every movie and TV show he'd directed.  He said, "They hire you to make the movie that they think is going to make them a lot of money…and then they conspire to make things difficult for you."  He was very proud of some of what he'd done, especially Who's Minding the Mint? and he did miss directing.  But he didn't miss The Crap.

From the E-Mailbag…

Here's the latest back-and-forth between myself and Cedric Hohnstadt (who, by the way, has a website full of fine drawings here). I don't believe I've ever met Cedric but over the years, he's sent me some of the most thoughtful and civil disagreements with things I've posted here. One of my natural prejudices against someone like Kim Davis who believes —

Hold on. I just got a call from a woman who said she's calling from the "Windows Technical Department with regard to my computer." I said to her, "No, you're not from the Windows Technical Department. You're a scam artist who wants my passwords and credit card numbers" and she hung up. Anyway, where was I?

Oh, right: As I was saying, Ms. Davis seems to believe she has God whispering in her ear so she could not possibly be wrong about any of this. There's no point even talking with people like that. I like talking with people who don't try to end discussions that way and I appreciate folks like Cedric. Here's his latest and my replies…

Thanks very much for taking time to respond to my email on your blog. I really appreciate your civility and you always make me think. Please take my comments in the friendliest and most respectful way possible.

First, you wrote, "You're not supposed to 'compromise' when people receive equal rights." This actually brings up an important question: Just where exactly do our rights come from? Are they bestowed upon us by human governments? If so, those same governments can take them away. Also, any such rights would be fluid and temporary, not transcendent and absolute. Or are our rights "endowed by our Creator" as the Declaration of Independence states? If so, then our rights have a clear religious aspect to them. How you answer that question will affect how you view the gay marriage issue.

I don't think our rights are bestowed on us by anyone. I think they come automatically from being human beings with brains and you become one of those whether you believe in a divine creator or not.

I once had a big argument with a fiercely-proselytizing evangelical-type who argued that if you don't believe in the Ten Commandments, you don't believe killing is wrong. My position is that you don't have to believe in any religion to know killing is wrong. Atheists know it just as much as those who swarm to church on Sundays.

It's kind of hard-wired into rational thinking at birth. We have common sense about lots of things that aren't taught to us by any authoritative power, be it government or religion. Did anyone have to teach you to fall in love at the right (or even the wrong) moments?

Second, you made an analogy to segregation in the civil rights era. I find it interesting that many of the same people who praised Martin Luther King Jr. for his civil disobedience (and rightly so), and who praised mayors and governors for issuing gay marriage licenses before they were legal, are now the same people who say to Kim Davis, "The law is the law." Personally I believe people should be slow to engage in civil disobedience, and be prepared to accept the consequences if they do (which Davis has done). I'm not 100% sure I agree with her stance, but I also think that many of her critics have forfeited the right to condemn her for not having a strict regard for the law.

I think there's quite a gap between Martin Luther King Jr. and Kim Davis. Dr. King was not a government employee demanding to remain in his job and collect a paycheck while not doing what his job required him to do. Ms. Davis is like someone who seeks conscientious objector status in the Army but still wants to be in the Army and be paid for being in the Army but to be allowed to pick and choose which orders she will and will not follow.

If you don't want to follow orders, you shouldn't be in the army. And if you don't want to enforce the rules of issuing marriage licenses, you shouldn't be in the job where you're supposed to issue marriage licenses.

If Ms. Davis wanted to lead marches and engage in the kind of civil disobedience Dr. King employed…well, I'd think she was advancing a bigoted, wrongheaded and futile cause but I wouldn't think she didn't have the right to do that. What she can't do is do it from her position of responsibility within the government and use that position to deny licenses to people she thinks should not have them.

It's interesting to note the number of prominent opponents of Gay Marriage who are not on her side over this — folks like Rod Dreher or Charles C.W. Cooke. I don't agree with those guys on very much — and not even about all aspects of this matter — but they and many other conservatives think it's wrong for a government official to do what she says God told her to do.

Back to Cedric once again…

Finally, you made a side comment about the Bible teaching that people should be executed for working on the Sabbath or not staying virgins until marriage. This is based on a common misconception. There are actually three types of laws in the Old Testament: Civil laws (i.e., capital punishment), religious laws, and moral laws. The civil and religious laws were intended only for the nation of Israel and only for a set period of time. It is only the moral laws that are applicable to all people everywhere. Bible critics mix these up all the time and it's a straw man.

Bible advocates mix them up all the time, too. That's my point. Way too many people in this world reach into that book, yank out a passage they can claim supports their position and then say, "See? That's the final word on the subject direct from God. It's settled!" Believe me. I've spent way too much of my life being lectured by people who believed that a position, however stupid, becomes inarguable once it's buttressed by some Bible quote that may or may not mean what they say it does. If your position makes sense, you ought to be able to explain why without that.

Opponents of abortion often cite Deuteronomy 30:19 as guidance as to when life begins. Others say that ain't what that passage is talking about. I don't even pretend to have an opinion on that. I just note that there is not total agreement on it; that most issues which are controversial when you don't involve the Bible are still controversial when you do. That's one reason why we don't base our laws in this country on this kind of thing. Another, of course, is that we have no national religion, a decision of our Founding Fathers that I believe is part of the genius of America.

Sorry for the long email. I'm not saying I 100% agree with how Davis has handled this (maybe she should have resigned?), but throwing people in jail for defending what has traditionally been the normal view of marriage feels like, well, like bullying. This liberal atheist says it better than I could. Even though we disagree, I really appreciate your friendly and respectful attitude. I've tried to reply in kind.

And I hope I have, as well. The atheist on that video has a point that there is some incivility directed at people who have not yet come to grips with or who still oppose Gay Marriage. Personally, I don't like any incivility but I don't think the scale has come close to balancing, given all the incivility that has been directed at gays being called evil and pedophiles and subhuman and so on. That's without even getting into actual harm done to them (murders, gay bashing, denial of civil rights, job discrimination, etc.) over the years — and it's not like all that has suddenly stopped or that past damages have been undone.

I have a great confidence that we are moving in the right direction in all this, however painful some of the steps may be. I believe we will see the day when people who once predicted equal rights for gays would doom mankind and end civilization as we know it will be saying, "What do you mean? I was never against gays getting married." But there will always be incivility associated with this, just as we still have incivility stemming from past incivility about racial issues that some might regard as settled. We can't always stop it among others. We can just try to cool things down and to not to contribute to the hostility. Thanks, Cedric.

Premiere in Pasadena

Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino and Stan Lee at the premiere

There's a nice little documentary With Great Power: The Stan Lee Story and it had its theatrical premiere last night at the iPics Theaters in Pasadena, where I believe it is henceforth playing for a while. That looks like a great place to catch a film, by the way: Wide, reclining chairs…a little button with which you can summon someone to bring you food or beverage, etc. I'm almost afraid to see a movie in a place like that for fear I'll want to move in.

Since I'm in this film, I was invited and at first, I wasn't going to attend. I've seen the movie and whatever else I think of it is eclipsed by my utter dislike for seeing myself on the screen — especially in too-close close-ups (I don't even like most people to be that near me, let alone any cameras) and before I lost a lot of weight.

Well, I should say more about it than that: It's a good introduction to Stan — one that captures his current existence and a lot of his past quite well. Now, you have to consider that in this context: It's a film done with Stan's participation and approval. It is not an unbiased exposé of his life, dredging up scandals or things he would prefer to kick under the carpet. That's not to fault it in any way and its makers — Terry Douglas, Nikki Frakes and Will Hess — made exactly the film they set out to make and they made it well. Stan comes across quite charming and deserving in it, though he is often upstaged by his delightful wife Joan.

So if it meant just going to see the film again, I wasn't going to go. But I was also curious about the event and had to be out that way anyhow for something else. As it turned out, seeing the movie was the least of my worries. Few there seemed to want to leave the big party and go off into one of the screening rooms at the complex to catch the film. I guess they all figured they could do that another time. Why miss any of the grand soiree?

When I checked in, a nice lady handed me my pass and directed me to a line. "They want you to walk the red carpet," she said. The red carpet was a gantlet of photographers and media, poised to capture photos and video of attendees, mostly with Stan who was out there, shaking hands, hugging and delivering sound bites to eager microphones. Behind it all, of course, was one of those walls imprinted with the name of the product and in this case, the names of many sponsors and companies doing business with Stan's enterprises.

I asked the nice lady, "Do I have to walk the red carpet? I mean, will they throw me out if I don't walk the red carpet?"

She said, "Well, no…but you are supposed to walk the red carpet."

Abdicating all personal responsibility as I so often do, I walked around the red carpet and stood behind the camerafolks so I could see what was transpiring on the red carpet. It was mostly Stan shaking hands and hugging people and making self-effacing remarks.

I have a lengthy list of conflicting feelings about Stan…about things he's done and perhaps more significantly, things he hasn't done. We've talked about some of this and he understands, and I think it's to his credit that when folks do documentaries about him, like this one and the one on The Biography Channel, he asks that I be included, mainly to make sure someone talks about Jack Kirby. Needless to say, any film that focuses on Stan is not going to spend enough time on Jack, but after declining a few of these, I decided a while back to start saying yes. I can't control the final cut but I can see that those who do have footage that mentions Jack and others who created Marvel Comics. I can also sometimes correct simple factual errors.

I also have a personal affection for Stan — one that flows both from reading his comics and from working with and for the man. I think it's hard not to have a personal affection for the guy — or at least, this guy. Perhaps you have someone in your life who's like that: You can't help liking them even though they've done some things you really, really didn't like. It is still a joy to me to see Stan, especially at his age, getting all the attention and celebrity and cash he so obviously craved all his life. What I was watching on that red carpet, and it was worth the drive to Pasadena and the six bucks I paid to park, was a person about as happy as any person could be.

Having skirted the red carpet, observed Stan on it and realized I needed a Men's Room, I finally went to enter the theater. A man at the door looked at my pass — which I guess had some sort of code on it to indicate I was a V.I.P. — and asked me in an almost scolding tone, "Did you walk the red carpet?" It was the way you'd talk to a child who hadn't done his homework. I told him, "No, I have a note from my doctor that says I'm expressly forbidden from walking any red carpets for two weeks." He laughed and let me in.

I stumbled off into a huge party which like all huge parties in show business was way too noisy to permit anyone quieter than Chris Matthews to carry on a conversation. I was amazed not just at how many people were there but at how few of them I knew. They were mostly, I suppose, connected to Stan's current business endeavors which have very little to do with the comic books that I care about. Stan aside, I may have been the only person on the premises who ever got a paycheck from Marvel Comics, at least for working on a Marvel Comic.

A server offered me a "Marveltini Excelsior" and I wasn't sure if it was a drink or a pile of wood shavings. It turned out to be a drink — a special concoction mixed by, the man said, the gent who prepares cocktails for the Academy Awards. Since alcohol has never passed my lips, I declined but when I got home, I checked an e-mail I'd been sent about the event and sure enough, there was the recipe for the beverage in question…

If you try one, let me know how it is. And you might try facing front and hanging loose when you drink it.

Stan and I spoke briefly but he was busy working the room, posing for photos and having the time of his life. I chatted, to the extent one could chat in that place, with a few folks I knew…but I felt very disconnected from it all as evidenced by the fact that I was there about 90 minutes and sent eight tweets in the last hour. Several of those I talked to said, "I didn't see you on the red carpet," as if I'd snuck in via some illicit entryway.

One introduced me to a reporter who was looking for quotes about Stan. The reporter stuck a voice recorder up near my mouth and asked me what I thought of the new comic book featuring Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, who was apparently right behind me at that moment. Give me some credit for not being able to recognize the man.

New comic book? I gave the reporter a resounding "Huh?" and he said, "You're probably looking forward to the first issue. That is, in the unlikely event you can get one."

I said, "Well then I'll just have to get the second issue. That is, in the unlikely event that there is one."

He said, "So why are you here?"

I said, "Well, they asked to be here because I'm in the film…"

He said, "The Avengers? God, it's the hottest film out there. What part did you play?"

I started to explain I was Scarlett Johansson's body double but instead I told him, "No, this film. The one about Stan Lee. The one this party's about."

He said, "You're in it? We didn't see you out on the red carpet. So what do you do?"

For some reason when people ask me that, I usually answer, "I write comic books" even though such jobs account for less than 5% of my income and have for several decades. I guess I say it because in my town, there are shoe salesmen who if you ask them what they do, they reply, "I write TV shows and movies," and then may or may not mention they sell New Balance footgear on the side. Rather than sound like one of them, I opt to say I write comic books and I said that to this fellow. He looked puzzled and his face said, even if his voice didn't, "So then what are you doing here?"

By that point, the volume and my constant awareness of pending deadlines had gotten to me so I decided to go home and write a comic book. On my way out of the theater, the news crews outside had just finished stowing their gear so I walked the red carpet but in the opposite direction. You know, it's kind of nice on there if you get rid of all those cameras and microphones.

Everything's Coming Up Rose's

Let's imagine you're Pete Rose. I know you have a much better haircut than that but bear with me. You're Pete Rose. And you get kicked out of Major League Baseball for betting on games, which you deny. The banishment has two downsides. One is that it puts a severe cramp in your earning power. The other is that your name is blackened and you're denied admission to the Hall of Fame in Cooperstown.

Wait: I've got a better idea. Let's imagine you're two Pete Roses. You're the Guilty Pete Rose who actually, like the evidence seemed to show pretty conclusively, bet on baseball and then lied his ass off denying it, attacking all accusers. And let's also imagine you're the Innocent Pete Rose who really didn't do what they say you did. I know it's a stretch but let's remember. Almost every week in this country, DNA testing frees someone from Death Row…someone who looked inarguably guilty to a whole lot of people. If someone can be convicted unanimously and go through the whole appeals process and rot in prison for ten years and still be innocent, it's at least remotely conceivable that there is an Innocent Pete Rose.

Okay, right now you're Guilty Pete Rose. The denials haven't worked. No one believes you and it's getting pretty obvious that no one is ever going to believe you. In the meantime, the window of eligibility for you to get into the Hall of Fame is about to close. Wouldn't this be a good time to confess? Write your autobiography so you can make some serious money off the confession, but confess. Get the book out while there's still time for a Pete Rose Apology Tour before that eligibility period ends. Make the rounds of talk shows, say how dreadfully sorry you are, maybe even sob a little. The publicity will make your book a best seller…as of this A.M., twelfth place on the Amazon Best Seller list, and the book doesn't even get released until Thursday. The sympathy will be great. The public will want to reward you for getting your life back on track, and they'll want to demonstrate forgiveness. You'll get into the Hall of Fame with ease…or at least, you'll have the best possible shot of making that happen. The confession makes sense.

Now, let's say you're Innocent Pete Rose. As you've maintained for umpteen years, you didn't bet on baseball; not the way they said, anyway. You're well aware that Major League Baseball is full of guys who've done that and much, much worse. You've been around the game for a long time. You know all the dirt about players who've been involved with heavy drugs, blackout drinking, cheating on games, beating up women in hotel rooms and financial shenanigans that make the allegations against you look like overdue fines at Blockbuster. You see that the baseball establishment pretends all this stuff doesn't go on but that every so often, to cling to the fiction that ballplayers are all like Boy Scouts, they have to spank one of them. Just to maintain the fiction that players are held to some high moral and ethical standard. Since you're not guilty (or maybe just not as guilty as they say), you don't see why you should accept the public flogging. You refuse to go along with it which, of course, makes some people even angrier with you.

We do that a lot in this country. We assume people are guilty of some crime and then we decide it's a moral failing, worse than the crime itself, that they won't "accept responsibility" and admit we're right. I'm all for people accepting responsibility for their transgressions, but there needs to be some recognition that sometimes people are wrongly accused. A lot of those guys freed from Death Row after ten years could have gotten lighter sentences if they'd confessed early-on to the crime they didn't commit. That they didn't was taken as a sign that they weren't rehabilitated.

But your stonewall, stick-to-the-truth defense isn't working, Innocent Pete. Your bank account is down, you're not in the Hall of Fame, the eligibility period is ending soon, and you're long past the point where you're ever going to convince anyone you didn't do it. So what do you do? Same thing as Guilty Pete Rose. Write the book, tell them what they want to hear, collect the royalties, engineer a last-minute groundswell of support to get your butt into Cooperstown. Your income and your reputation can only profit from it.

I am not suggesting Innocent Pete Rose reflects the real situation. He sure looks guilty and of course, now that he's confessed, the slim possibility that he was wrongly accused becomes slimmer to the point of non-existence. But it has always bugged me that in the judicial system, plea bargaining often makes it less painful to take a punishment for something you didn't do than to hang in there and try to prove your innocence. I've paid traffic tickets I didn't deserve because I would suffer less by confessing to the lie. I'm sure it goes on in larger, more life-alerting matters, as well. I guess it just bothers me that we often reach the point where guilt or innocence matter so little that they both lead to the same place. Whether he did it or not, Rose is going to do quite well from his confession. You can bet on it.

Common Courtesy

I enjoy the good conversation that one usually finds in Newsgroups and on chat boards like the one at www.comicon.com.  I have generally been able to tolerate the occasional clown who posts with the sensibilities of — and often, the same motives as — a 12-year-old making prank phone calls.  One of the problems inherent in public electronic communication is that those who post often think they're going over better than they probably are.  You often see debates where some guy is like the Black Knight in Monty Python and the Holy Grail:  He gets his arms and legs whacked off but he's too danged stupid to know it. (Actually, that's not the best analogy because, on discussion boards, such wounds are usually self-inflicted.)  Much of the problem occurs when a forum allows, as most do, its participants to hide behind handles.  Anonymity is a great empowerer of the craven, giving them the opportunity to hurl mud at real people (i.e., those whose identities are known and undisputed) who, in turn, can only return fire at phantoms.

I believe in always being polite and respectful to all who post.  If you do a Google Search on my old messages, I think you'll find that I always have been.  I am, however, beginning to feel that simple rules of courtesy need not extend to those who cower behind monikers; that in the electronic chatting community, they are and ought to be treated like second-class citizens.  The other day, a message on www.comicon.com attacking a friend of mine struck me as so egregiously rude and stupid that I found my breaking point.  I have withdrawn from that forum and decided to do likewise in any venue where such folks run too rampant.

The reaction, at least in my e-mail, has been interesting.  The rude messager is defending himself on two grounds, one being that I am somehow suppressing his free speech by taking umbrage and refusing to participate any longer.  This is, I'm afraid, an altogether typical response.  A lot of folks seem to think that the First Amendment means that they can post something stupid and no one else is allowed to say it's stupid and/or to refuse to listen.

His other defense is that he is functioning in the time-honored role of critic.  He compared himself to Dorothy Parker and Alexander Woollcott — both of whom, as far as I can tell, always wrote what they wrote under real names.  (They could both also spell.)  He accused me of being "thin-skinned," even though — in this case — I was not the one being criticized.  I wrote back to him that I've had my writing trashed by The New York Times and other such publications.  A badly-written slam by an anonymous crank on a computer forum is barely a gnat bite by comparison.  Really, I find his position indefensible and assume he will soon disappear, at least under that name.  Perhaps, when he starts over under another identity, he will be a bit more judicious.

None of this is an immediate call to action on my part.  I just felt I ought to write here about this change in my attitude.  I intend to continue to be civil and helpful to all, even the anonymous guys as long as they behave themselves.  But I've decided that hiding behind a handle does not show much respect for others and that, when such folks get abusive, they forfeit the right to be treated with any respect.  Perhaps if this approach becomes the Internet norm, more forums will be erected wherein the participants have to use their real names, thereby accepting responsibility for what they write.  It could only elevate the level of the discourse.